Dealing with nosey nurses - page 3

by Aviationurse 14,656 Views | 32 Comments

I recently signed in as an agency nurse in a hospital after a year hiatus.....to do other things outside from hospital nursing and why is it that after x5 mins of meeting the incoming nurses.or any nurse that comes your... Read More


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    I don't think other nurses who ask questions about your agency work are being nosy, I think they're just curious or trying to gather information to see if it's a viable career move for them.

    I know I'm curious about the in's and out's of travel nursing because it's something I *think* I want to try in the future (but I have more questions before I'd make such a drastic career move).

    I do know just about every nurse at the hospital asks me very specific Q's about my other home health agency job and I never feel threatened or defensive. I answer their questions as openly and honestly as I can without sarcasm or suspicion of their intent. It's human nature to size up our situation and to see if a move might be in order.

    C'mon, chill out peeps. We're nurses and we're supposed to be helpful to others - not inflict harm or create unnecessary hostility.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  2. 4
    Quote from RN Zeke
    And to think these are educated adults looking for a reason to pounce on another nurse in some manner. Remids me of a crazy movie with various plots.
    I don't think that at all. I think they're just trying to make conversation and get to know the new nurse.
    joanna73, DixieBelle7, psu_213, and 1 other like this.
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    Quote from RN Zeke
    What would the staff nurse response be to us if we asked them awkard questions. Where do you live, what do you make an hour, what are your benefits, are you married, have a signifant other and of what sex, children how many, who takes care of them while you run around the country or go from job to job, got any insurance, what kind of a vehicle do you drive, own or rent and the BS just goes on. Usually while I am trying to have MY LUNCH BREAK. My response is will you write all those questions down?? I am trying to have my lunch break that I am not getting paid for!!! Glad you want to be friends. Do you want to meet or take me to dinner after work and then we can talk???
    Nursing relies on teamwork to get the job done, and teamwork makes it far more pleasant. If you don't want to talk to other nurses on your break, they will see you as not wanting to be a part of the team. Next, you'll be complaining that all the nurses you work with are mean to you. If you come across as this rude on-line, you're probably coming across as rude at work, too.
    joanna73, DixieBelle7, psu_213, and 2 others like this.
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    The owners of your agency make money from your labor, it is true. In exchange, they find jobs for you.

    You can open your own agency. No one is stopping you. Then other nurses will make money for you while you are sleeping or making love.
    Last edit by Kooky Korky on Aug 24, '12
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    If you don't want to answer their questions, just say, nicely, that you are reluctant to share your personal information in general. Say that you've learned that it is best not to talk too much about it and be apologetic and assure the questioner that it is not personal against them.

    Or make up some untruthful answers. Just be sure you can remember them and use them consistently.

    And if you don't want to talk with your coworkers, eat someplace alone. Otherwise, you will be deemed rude and unfriendly.

    Good luck.
    DixieBelle7 and Not_A_Hat_Person like this.
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    Be careful. It's a balance between being cordial and positive versus giving too much information. By that I mean, sadly, some people want to get information to use against you in some way. NOT all nurses, of course, are like this. Some are just curious and have their own reasons for wanting to know things. If you are perceived as somehow unapproachable or defensive, it will work against you. If you are too nice and share too much, b/c you are an open person, it can work against you too. Some people are very insecure and for some reason see others as competition or whatever. It's not right, and I think it is part of the horizontal/vertical abuse or bullying that happens WAY too often in nursing. But it's hard, b/c not everyone is like this, and you can be seen as a non-team entitity if you don't walk the tightrope (balance).

    Remember, perception often is what people make as the reality about you, and not necessarily the true reality. But once they think they have sized their perception up about you--and then share it with enough "others" in the particular unit culture, you can be marked as such--and that can jump up to bite you in the butt. It doesn't matter if it is true of not. Remember that it is the perception they formulate and spread about you, and not the reality that can stand. So many others listen to certain folks, and once these key members formulate something about you, the other nurses or people, rather than being balanced and fair themselves, will go along with the dominate "influencers" in the group. It's a hard reality to deal with--especially if you are a person with your own sense of who you are, and all you want to do is to come into work, do the best job you can, and then go home to live the rest of your life. I grew up with mostly males, so I have often found it tough to deal with certain antics that seem particularly of a catty, female nature. I like the whole, "I'm OK. You're OK" thing. I have been sad to see the level of insecurity that I have in the work place. Seems like almost everywhere you go, someone is afraid someone else will somehow do better than they feel they are doing. It's weird and stressful to me. I think people should just worry about themselves, do the best they can, and try to be supportive of others. Nurses, of all groups of professionals really should be a much more supportive group for each other. I have worked in areas where this was the case, and I loved working with those within the group. People were there for each other and the patients, and they looked out for each other, rather than seeking someone or certain folks out and causing undue drama and grief. Nurses, regardless of the economy, need to stand up and support each other--and strive for balance and fairness. But that is the ideal, and sadly, the ideal is often enough not the case. Makes me so sad.

    Just try not be defensive, b/c there is also a good chance some folks are just trying to get to know you. I think the expression is, "Be wise as a fox, but gentle as a lamb." Something like that.

    The Best to you!
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    Samadams, I think its "be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove ". To the OP, I worked agency for the last 1.5 years as I finished up my FNP. I am a people person and I like talking to ppl and getting to know ppl. So when ppl asked me all those questions...I was all for it. It made the nigth go by quicker and gave me an opportunity to get to know the peeps I am working with as well. I dont mind saying how much I make...but only if the person asking tells me what they make first. I sort of think that is a rude question if I dont know the person well enough to discuss my income. I think ppl in general are mor curious than anything. Its hard being the new kid on the block...and if ppl know your back ground and know your not just one of these agency nurses looking to make a quick buck who doesnt care about there patients...they will be friendly towards you and you will end up giving ageny nurses a good name . No, its not any of their business. But its usually harmless and an ice breaker. Everywhere I went ppl loved me and they always threw me a party at the end of my assignment.
    salvadordolly and DixieBelle7 like this.
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    nosey nurses, are like nosey neighbours, ignore them! Dont have to do a political statment. Switch the subject to something fluffy!
    nice day, eh!!
    Aviationurse likes this.
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    LOl, we love to gossip if its juicy. We eat our young, new, and innocent. It doesn't matter what you say or not say or do. Those kind will and do form their own opinion and spread it. It may or may not be out of spite or jealously but curiousness, but they are well aware that it it against most company's policies to discuss those topics even during break.
    jrsRN07, SCTravelRN, and Aviationurse like this.
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    I'm a sharer. I pretty much draw the line at giving hard numbers because that's the only topic where I can see dangers but otherwise I don't see what's the harm in telling curious folks what my schedule is like or what other floors or facilities I work at.


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