Your Recovery

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 25, 2009

Good topic, I hope people participate.

Probably one of the hardest parts for me at this point is "practicing these principles in all my affairs". I try to live a life of integrity, honesty and service to others, but some days are better than others. I strive not to do or say anything that is going to cause me to need to make an amends later on. I find that when I have peace of mind through this process drinking is the farthest thing from my mind.

michigooseBSN · Feb 25, 2009

In retrospect I think one of the major keys to my recovery was the disease concept. On my second day in an out-patient rehab someone said something (I have often wished I could remember what it was) that made me understand that my alcoholism was a disease and not a moral failing. As a nurse, this helped me accept that while I will always have this disease (just like if I had been diagnosed with diabetes), it is treatable and it isn't "all my fault". This went a long way toward helping me forgive myself. I am an alcoholic and drug addict and always will be BUT I do not have to suffer the symptoms of the disease as long as I "practice these principles in all my affairs". And I learn and share these principles by very active particiapation in AA. So far so good. It will be 17 years of continuous sobriety and recovery in May, God willing.

rninmi · Feb 26, 2009

In retrospect I think one of the major keys to my recovery was the disease concept. On my second day in an out-patient rehab someone said something (I have often wished I could remember what it was)

Thanks for that......I think everyone, especially nurses and docs need to understand and hear this early in our recovery....I felt "unique"....the scum of the earth.....no one had did what I did...no one stole drugs from pt's, no one falsified documents...no one treated others as badly I did....on and on......

Like you....I remember someone telling me that I had a disease. I had never met this woman, and to this day I don't even know who she was. She was with all the administrators when they confronted me with the awful truth....As I was sitting there balling...wondering how to explain all this to my wife and 2 little boys.....anyway this lady leans across, puts her hand on my leg and says "you have a disease...." of course at the time I was dope sick, and didn't hear her...but over the next few days I heard that over and over again. The director of the ER was there and he said "dude, do you think you're unique? I've pulled men out of bathroom stalls who have 3 x's the education you have, and make 4X's what you make....You aint special" (he was kinda blunt)....anyway, thanks for the response I couldn't agree more!

exnursie · Feb 26, 2009

Recovery is not something that can be treated in the cookie cutter way that it is seen as and it is up to each person to seek and find what is their individual way and what they find works for them.

In early stages the need to hear basics about addiction and to be educated on what it involves is essential and the need for group support is recognized and recommeneded by all addiction specialists no matter what idealogy they support.

I believe that AA has basic valuable beliefs that apply to anyone in addiction and that the exposure to AA is of value. The need to embrace AA in it's entirety is not needed to mainain recovery for many people but again is so individual that I cannot even think of setting any specifics to use for this.

I attended NA/ AA for about 5 yrs, and without it I would not have succeeded. I disagreed with some of their ideas but there was more good than bad and the ability to overlook the things that bothered me and focus on the value was not always easy but it definiftely was something that helped build my new foundation and to develop tolerance, willingness, acceptance, and the respect for people who are all fighting the same battle against addiction.

Today, I shudder at the idea of returning to AA, but do rely on many AA beliefs in daily life. I am clean for 9 yrs and using isn't something that is a worry or even something that I miss, or think of doing.

If I relapsed and needed support it would be a definite consideration and not really an option to ignore .

There is so much more that isn't always addressed with nurses in addiction and the shame, and guilt are just a couple of issues that are overlooked by addiction professionals who lack experience or who have the mindset from the past on how to treat addiction.

jackstem · Mar 3, 2009

The disease concept was also a huge step in helping me realize that this is about a genetically based disease that affects the brain and therefore shows it's signs and symptoms in aberrant emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical ways.

For me, the biggest "boost" to my recovery came when I decided I was going to stop hiding the fact that I was a recovering addict. I became a state peer advisor for the nurse anesthetists in my state and have started an advocacy, educational, consulting business for nurses. Speaking out has helped remove the stigma from my own mind and has enabled me to speak out more confidently. I have this crazy dream that one of these days there won't need to be Alcoholics or Narcotics ANONYMOUS...we will have Recovery UNANIMOUS instead. That won't happen if those of us in recovery aren't willing to share our story.

Excellent topic!

Jack

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 3, 2009

Through 17 years of sobriety, I've learned that total recovery from substance abuse is impossible, because it IS a disease. All we can do is stop it from progressing by staying clean/sober for the rest of our lives; only when we draw our last breath will we be "cured".

However, I've also learned that paying it forward---using what you've discovered to help others in the same boat---reinforces our recovery and is probably the best defense against relapse. The opportunities for doing so, especially in nursing, are almost limitless; the only requirement is that you have to be willing to share your own experiences. It took me several years to become comfortable with telling relative strangers that I was a recovering alcoholic, but I have never---and I do mean NEVER---been judged harshly for it. In fact, nearly everyone to whom I've told my once-shameful secret has been surprised, but grateful and even supportive of me for being honest about my problem. Now I can't imagine NOT disclosing it where it's appropriate to do so; I'm certainly not embarrassed about it anymore. My alcoholism is merely a part of my past that has helped shaped the person I am today, and as such, it deserves a place in my life story.

The other big benefit of paying it forward is the satisfaction of knowing that you may have helped change---or save---a life. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm a big believer in the theory that God smiles on those who use their personal difficulties for the betterment of their fellow humans. He certainly has blessed my own efforts, as I've not only stayed sober these many years, but received some incredible rewards in the process. There is nothing more powerful, and nothing more healing to the soul, than hearing "Thank you for making a difference in my life."

Even if you're not spiritual or religious, however, you can still reap the benefits: I mean, who thinks about drinking or using when you're feeling GOOD about yourself?

pair_of_feet · Mar 13, 2009

:loveya:Excellent input here! I have been in recovery now for 10 years and like many of you was ashamed,embarassed and absolutely mortified at the thought of telling anyone about my 'disease'.I recently had my license reinstated and now am looking for a job while also being in a monitoring program.I wake up everyday and tell myself today I will not use drugs.I have had to learn appropriate coping skills and not to beat myself up everyday over it.My use occurred while going thru a very bad separation/divorce. My DOC were opiates. I had to go to NA/AA when I was in IOP. I also got involved with The SMART concept which helped me understand my disease on a more cerebral level. To anyone out there remember there are those of us that do lead productive drug free lives.I finally got over the shame when I had coworkers come to me and and ask me to listen to them because they may have a problem.I am 47 and I saw so many new nurses coming to work hungover and just because alcohol is legal doesn't mean it's not a drug! There is light at the end of the tunnel