You know you're a neuro nurse if.....

[Elenaster]

I was inspired by the looonngggg "you know you're a nurse if..." thread on the Nursing Humor forum, and thought we could do one based on our specialty. Here's a few I came up with and please feel free to add on!

You know you're a Neuro nurse if:

Your favorite patient is a GCS=3 and an orphan.

Along with standing orders for Dilantin and Decadron, you also have orders for restraints and Propofol.

If anyone in your family hits their head, the first thing you do is grab a penlight and check their pupils.

Every time you get a bad headache, you're sure you've either had an aneurysm rupture or have got a brain tumor.

You've ever referred to visiting hours as "inspection."

You give out points for creativity on patients that find new ways to swear at you.

You've ever had a patient proposition you or make sexually explicit comments right in front of his 80-year-old grandmother.

You've given a patient a 6 on motor (follows commands) when they stuck up both of their middle fingers at you when you asked them to "hold up two fingers."

You've heard your unit referred to as the "vegetable patch."

You wish you had a dollar for everytime you've heard from another nurse, "Neuro! I HATE neuro!"

[gasmaster]

When the only useful thing you learned in High School was wrestling.

Ain't that the truth!!!!

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

You find yourself using the phrase, "You have a tube in your bladder" over 100 times in a shift in respones to your patients frantic "I NEED TO PEE!" diatribe.

There is a simple remedy to this problem - refill the bladder with about 50 mls - either use warm saline or simply clamp the tubing for an hour or so.

The problem is caused by irritation of the catheter tip against the bladder wall and re-inflating the bladder moves the wall away from the bladder tip. You only occasionally need to re-inflate a second time. Warn the patient that this will take time to work. Even if you use warm saline - give it a few minutes for the spasms to settle before releasing the catheter and letting it drain.

Once you tried this once or twice (remember that it does take that little bit of time - especially if you simply clamp the catheter) but it DOES work and works well

[JaredCNA, CNA]

I don't work in a Neuro ICU but I do work on a Med-Surg Ortho/Neuro floor. Two pretty common things are...

"Here are some pretty bracelets I'm putting on you to keep you safe and remind you not to get up."

And...

"No, I don't have a key to your house. You're at the hospital." Or something along those lines.

[msaaaz]

thanks

i was hating neuro so much but after one pt recover from lt. paraital bone depressed and he visited us after that in our ICU

i changed my mind about neuro

[JaredCNA, CNA]

I began working on an ortho/neuro med-surg unit and didn't know that there was any specialty...thought I would be simply on med-surg.

For the longest time I absolutely hated the neuro portion of the floor, but as mentioned above, after seeing someone recover it is pretty cool.

[Christie RN2006]

You and your co-workers are going to write a book entitled, "How to successfully shoot yourself in the head," including tips on why blowing off your face is bad, reasons not to use a shotgun, and why shooting out your frontal lobe will make you a huge burden to your family.

I work in Trauma/Neuro/Surgical ICU and we decided to title our book "Suicide: Doing it right the first time"

Also, you know you work in neuro when you spend your entire shift trying to explain to your newly extubated neuro patient why it is inappropriate to play in your poop, grab someones boob, etc.

[kimtab]

...you've ever told anyone who's behavior was annoying you to "Stop being so frontal"

...you wake your kids up in the morning with a sternal rub

[CaliRN29]

I love this!

[lgjackson]

Trying to keep a Sundowners patient from pulling all their clothes off or falling out of the bed, dodge punches, and still continue to smile and be nice when they say "what rock did you crawl out from under" and "you're stupid". Ah, the wonders of Geodon !!!

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

The 911 operators know you by name, from patients calling to say they're being held captive.

[gasmaster]

You've ever had CERTAIN bodily fluids from you male patient (and I ain't talkin' bout pee) flung in your hair, onto your scurbs, etc.

[Christie RN2006]

You can tell when a neuro patient is going to puke just by the look in their eyes.

When your neuro patient twitches or shakes at all and you do a neuro check and then watch them like a hawk to make sure its not a seizure.