You know you are a CNA when....

Nursing Students CNA/MA

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I am a DON at a nursing home and I am going to be putting together a power point presentation for my CNA's. I really wanted to start out with something fun to help them realize how much they are appreciated. I was looking for something fun like "you know you are a CNA when..." but I couldn't find anything. Can you help me out?

Thanks

Laura

...when one of your greatest pleasures in life is seeing how many times you can make your CNA students cringe, blush, or vomit by telling them about BMs that were shaped (and smelled) like assorted zoo animals, foreign objects that you've found in the most unlikely of body cavities, and what to do in case a resident walks through the dining room naked asking for dessert.

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Hahah. You find yourself mentally characterizing your own bowel movements (or those of your children) by size and character.

Anytime you help someone do something outside of work, you subconsciously want to do it on the count of three.

I must be a CNA, I just did that bowel movement thing yesterday. (((blushes))) :o

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Your nose can detect poop anywhere in the house!

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...outside of work you have a completely nonchalant conversation with another cna about the form and consistency of a one-year-old's bowel movement and neither of you flinch.

...you actually crave graham crackers and those sugar-free lemon cookies after watching your diabetic residents eat them as HS snack.

...you develop a taste for fruit juice and anticipate the daily change of flavors at your nurse's station.

...you have at one time salivated at the sight and smell of pureed chicken.

...you and a cna friend come across the subject of a "scrubs blanket" or sleeping on the couch, and know exactly what the other person is talking about.

...your scrawny arms can push 160 lbs of dead weight better than any licensed nurse can :p

...for some reason, saliva grosses you out, but fecal matter and urine...meh. been there, done that.

...personal issues with constipation? no problem! just up that I&O.

...you have no issue undressing others or yourself in public--only to then realize that it's not normal to the rest of society.

...even that nasty ol' resident who cusses you out every time you perform his/her ADL's finds a permanent soft spot in your heart.

...you learn to replace sadness and disappointment with a twisted sense of humor that your coworkers often mistake for innocent joy. bwahaha. oh, but little do they know...

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...you enjoy scrubs shopping way more than shopping for regular clothes. but alas, much of that is only window shopping (what? you mean this set costs half of one day's paycheck???)

...your laundry consists of socks, undergarments, and scrubs.

...any outsider walking into your facility can single out your forlorn, tired, quiet self as being a CNA.

...you take a liking to the ambulance man who always supplies you with a good clicky pen.

...at work your waist feels exposed without a gait belt.

...you secretly hate rainbow-colored gait belts.

...you love that completely nonsensical printed scrub top that at least one coworker cluelessly has to own (e.g. the puppy and heart print donning the phrase "no. 1 vet")

...you actually like it when state surveyors come visit. (what? nurses are actually answering call lights?)

...upon helping a resident, you realize that your own contractured fingers need ROM and your own bent-up back some physical therapy.

...your heart melts when a resident tells you he/she can't wait to have you for a shift.

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Specializes in geriatrics, dementia, ortho.

I thought this was worth a bump...

You know you're a CNA when you're napping and your husband wakes you to tell you he has a fever, and the first words out of your mouth are "where's my pen?".

When you can identify which of your dementia residents is screeching from 30-40 feet away and guess what kind of care they're getting based on the screeches' volume and frequency. Showers are louder than toileting.

When you've fantasized about taping resident's hands to their walkers so they will quit leaving them behind and falling over.

When you rush in to see your fresh post-op patients to find out if they're going to be the type that sleep for hours, or the miserable painful vomiting type. If it's the sleeping type, you rejoice.

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Specializes in Cardiac.
are ya sure you do not work in a morge? I have to wonder why you made that statement. Simply if you are a caring CNA, LPN, RN, let alone any form of NURSE you simply do not make them sort of comments. Hold your peace there. Need to learn a little boundary on this type of commenting. Just so you know there are those of us who are simply offended by such commentary.

Originally Posted by CoffeemateCNA viewpost.gif

...when you're secretly excited (yet saddened for the resident) when someone has a heart attack/stroke/seizure and EMS is called because it's the most excitement you've had all month except for the time when Ms. Smith showed you how she can take her dentures out and spit them into the cup without using her hands (which is AMAZING!!).

Okay, you need to chill out. I work in a hospital and while I don't wish anything bad to happen to any of my patients, I do LOVE the rush of a code or some sort of emergency!

Be careful not to fall off your pedestal, it'd be a shame if you had to walk around down here with the rest of us...

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quote from mrstisback

are ya sure you do not work in a morge? i have to wonder why you made that statement. simply if you are a caring cna, lpn,
rn
, let alone any form of nurse you simply do not make them sort of comments. hold your peace there. need to learn a little boundary on this type of commenting. just so you know there are those of us who are simply offended by such commentary.

originally posted by
coffeematecna
viewpost.gif
...when you're secretly excited (yet saddened for the resident) when someone has a heart attack/stroke/seizure and ems is called because it's the most excitement you've had all month except for the time when ms. smith showed you how she can take her dentures out and spit them into the cup without using her hands (which is amazing!!).

okay, you need to chill out. i work in a hospital and while i don't wish anything bad to happen to any of my patients, i do love the rush of a code or some sort of emergency!

be careful not to fall off your pedestal, it'd be a shame if you had to walk around down here with the rest of us…

i'm with kool-aide! there's really nothing offensive about coffeematecna's post. working in direct care as all cna's do, you may find yourself in life-and-death situations and your adrenaline kicks into survival mode --it can be very exhilarating and that's not a bad thing!! personally i don't mind if someone makes 'them sort of comments.' this forum is a place to be honest about your feelings and share them with the rest of us....it's nice to hear someone express what others may be thinking but are hesitant to say out loud. :)

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Not to mention...what's a morge??

You know you're a CNA when you can identify at least 30 types of pureed food at a distance of 10 paces.

When you have your residents' bowel and bladder habits so memorized that you catch yourself, when looking at the clock, thinking "I bet Joey is poopy now" when you're at home, on your days off.

When you instinctively reach out to wipe the face of anyone you see who has something on their face. ANYONE.

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when you're super excited when your job actually has a lot of wet wipes:).

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"Let me get the nurse; I'm just the aide." That is my favorite excuse, ever. Especially when families start asking where their mother's pills are.

Also, you know you're a CNA when you're not grossed out by diarrhea, vomit, blood, or finding what appears to be semen in a resident's trash can, but you can't stand it when someone coughs in public.

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lol

"let me get the nurse; i'm just the aide.".......

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