Stupidity is a lot like nuclear energy---it can be used for good or for evil, but either way, you don't want to get any on you.
This is never more true than when taking care of patients who have done incredibly idiotic things to themselves that require medical attention. I've had a few who make me feel as though my I.Q. drops 25 points every time I walk into their room.........as if their stupidity somehow rubs off on me and causes me to go through the rest of my day pulling boneheaded stunts, like writing half a page of nursing notes in the wrong patient's chart and going home with the narc keys.
If I nurse for another forty years, I'll never forget the young tough-guy wannabe who was admitted to our Med/Surg floor some years ago for repair of his left testicle, which had evidently been in the way when he decided to make like John Dillinger and shove his TEC-9 in the waistband of his Wranglers. Apparently no one had ever informed him that this practice is a little riskier than they make it look on TV, and he was incredulous at the idea of having shot off one of his "boys":
"I can't bleepin' believe I bleepin' shot my bleepin' BALL off," he murmured as the effects of the anesthesia wore off. We should've known that the next four days would be a challenge as he recovered from his surgery and began to deal with what he'd done..........but we didn't have time to ponder this, as he kept us running back and forth the entire time he was in the hospital.
He wanted pain medicine. He wanted his girlfriend. He wanted Pepsi. He wanted McDonalds. He wanted more Pepsi. He wanted a candy bar. Mostly, he wanted sympathy: "Ohhh, this hurts so bleepin' bad, ow, ow, yanno how it feels to get shot in the nuts, oh, no you don't, you're a girl, owwwwwwwww!!" He whined. He cried. He put on his call light every five minutes. He did everything but take responsibility for his own predicament. "If that cop hadn't driven by at that second, none of this would've happened, yanno," he said repeatedly.
Naturally, Ms. Big Mouth here can only put up with so much sheer stupidity, so I asked him if he'd ever thought that maybe he shouldn't have been messing with the gun in the first place. I grew up around firearms and know how to use them.....and never in a million years would I be foolish enough to shove a loaded pistol into my waistband.
"NO," he answered with some vehemence. "Guys like me, we always gotta protect ourselves, yanno?" Well, I didn't know, but this reply gave me an idea, which was pretty much confirmed when one of the other nurses found traces of marijuana in the bathroom after one of his frequent 'visitors' had been in to see him. Additionally, a search of his belongings by the security staff turned up several baggies filled with weed, a pipe, and a couple of old pill bottles with crystal meth inside.
Does it get any dumber than dealing drugs from your hospital room? Yes, if you happen to be a lanky, dishwater-blond twentysomething from Felony Flats, Oregon. One lovely autumn day several months after his discharge, the word came up to the floor that he was back in the ER, again a victim of a self-inflicted GSW..........only this time, he'd not only shot off his remaining testicle, but a good portion of his manhood as well!
This is one of those things that you can't believe unless you see it for yourself. And as terrible as it sounds, all I could think of was how fortunate it was for society that this character had rendered himself permanently incapable of producing offspring........you just can't fix that kind of stupid. Yanno?
Specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.
Hi , I really can see where you are coming from. I was an Lvn before Rn. and oh yes, some of those nurses give you the death look or bosses you around instead of taking you in their wings. Unfortunately these are people who really have problems w/ their own self image. Also some nurses are so co dependent that they choosed nursing to be always needed...and this same nurses are b......s to other nurses. I do not know what is in nursing that attracts these type of people......... a few have their heads on their shoulder...the rest seemed to function on some sort of psychological and pathological need. But do not despair, I have met some real good nurses , that is intact psychologically and they are good nurses as well as good /normal people. Hopefully these typw are the majority.
lord knows there's plenty of "funny" to be found in this thread. but if you really are planning a career in the medical profession, you may want to go back and re-read what these veterans are saying. in my puny opinion, allnurses should be a required part of the curriculum.
most of us know all about laughing to keep from jumping off a bridge. there is no more exasperating profession than medicine. for your own sanity, you may want to refocus.
lord knows there's plenty of "funny" to be found in this thread. but if you really are planning a career in the medical profession, you may want to go back and re-read what these veterans are saying. in my puny opinion, allnurses should be a required part of the curriculum.
most of us know all about laughing to keep from jumping off a bridge. there is no more exasperating profession than medicine. for your own sanity, you may want to refocus.
patricparamedic -
im not sure why you are telling me to refocus, a little wierd sense you dont know me at all. i have worked hard as a cna for three years and i have worked as a emt. believe me after my work experience and getting through school - i understand having to laugh to stay sane. which is why i thanked the ppl who posted their funny stories for sharing. medicine is serious and thats why we have to suppport each other (in my puny opinion )
I am a student in the healthcare profession and I recently learned about the valsalva manuever. I noticed one of the members of this site was named Valerie Salva. I was wondering if she ever got kidded about her name. I understand a valsalva manuever involves using your abdominal muscles to push out a bowel movement or if a woman is pregnant, she uses the valsalva manuever to push out the baby. I could just imagine a patient saying to a healthcare professional, my name's Charlie and I need a little help with my valsalva. Just a joke.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I am a student in the healthcare profession and I recently learned about the valsalva manuever. I noticed one of the members of this site was named Valerie Salva. I was wondering if she ever got kidded about her name. I understand a valsalva manuever involves using your abdominal muscles to push out a bowel movement or if a woman is pregnant, she uses the valsalva manuever to push out the baby. I could just imagine a patient saying to a healthcare professional, my name's Charlie and I need a little help with my valsalva. Just a joke.
When I was an EMT, we also learned that the valsalva maneuver can slow a rapid heartrate.
There is no off on the dumb switch!!!! Is our favorite saying..... How about the Mom who brings in the kid, in seizures with the high temp..... Did you give any Tylenol? No! I wanted you to see how high the fever was!!!
Or..... Every time I feed little Darrin...he pukes.... he just keeps puking..... what should I do? How about a clear liquid diet till the vomiting stops? Rest, ice chips, no milk.....! Can he have a cheeseburger with that???? This really happened.....You can't make this stuff up!!!!
Or the family who had the sink in the Bathroom filled with ice and soda, and were sitting eating pizza in the room with my freash post op!!!! They complained to the administrator when I threw them out, politely!!!!
I had a guy come in the ED one day with a necrotic member. This was in the days before Viagra. He could not get it up. So he thought he would shoot it up with some cocaine and that would do the trick. Well he killed his dick. They had to amputate it. I hate to say it and I hope the good Lord with forgive me, but I laughed my butt off. I could not believe this guy had been so stupid.[/quote']
Yeah, i'd be asking God for forgiveness too. I can't believe you laughed at him! (I have to admit, I'd probably do it too).
)
MaritesaRN
427 Posts
Hi , I really can see where you are coming from. I was an Lvn before Rn. and oh yes, some of those nurses give you the death look or bosses you around instead of taking you in their wings. Unfortunately these are people who really have problems w/ their own self image. Also some nurses are so co dependent that they choosed nursing to be always needed...and this same nurses are b......s to other nurses. I do not know what is in nursing that attracts these type of people......... a few have their heads on their shoulder...the rest seemed to function on some sort of psychological and pathological need. But do not despair, I have met some real good nurses , that is intact psychologically and they are good nurses as well as good /normal people. Hopefully these typw are the majority.