Published
Weird, I was going to make a post asking if people are "out" at work.
Congratulations on 25 years!!! How do you work on yourself with 8 sponsees?? Of course working with others is how we work on ourselves isn't it?
When I entered nursing I was in recovery and never told anyone, then relapsed for a couple of years and have been sober 11 years. Fortunately, my relapse didn't affect my job.....yet.
I choose to adhere to the "anonymous" part of my program and not tell anyone. I have the same concerns as you do. People just don't get it and I don't want to come in tired from insomnia one day and find myself giving urine because someone's "concerns".
I'm sure it will come out one day and I won't deny it (after all I have pics of myself in my gallery here and someone will sooner or later put two and two together ) because I have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide.
It gets awkward because my boss wants me to go out for drinks with her and another coworker, and a doctor gave me some expensive vodka for Christmas last year. I've often said "It's my personal policy never to drink in front of co-workers because I can't trust what I might say" so it's no big deal for outside functions for me to not drink, but still sometimes I wish I could be honest, and actually get support rather than judgement, but for now I'll keep it to myself.
I am out, but only because I felt safe in doing so. Not everyone at the agency knows but the ones I work closest with do and they are supportive. Outting themselves is not the best idea for everyone, and I encourage anyone who is not comfortable with that to keep quiet. Best way to explain not drinking is either "I never liked the taste" or "I'm allergic to alcohol." In a sense, the last answer is correct.
After 52 years of putting on a facade to the world and living in fear that I would be found out (this was both before and during my active disease), when I got sober I promised myself I would never have to be afraid of being found out again. Therefore I have told many people at work that I am in recovery (on an as need to know basis or when it comes up comfortable in a conversation). I told my principal (I'm a school nurse) and nurse leader before accepting the job of course and others as it came up. My theory is that if I tell, I don't have to fear being found out. So far (16 years in less than 2 weeks) that has proved to be true.
My hats are off to all of you have gone on before, paving the way for me. I just got 7 years in May. I almost lost my license before coming into recovery. I didn't work for a year as a nurse. I work now at a hospital and try to keep it simple. The only thing my boss knows is that I completed Texas Peer Assistance Program for Nurses which some of you may know is a program for nurses that have an impairment with drugs, alcohol and/or mental illness. By now she has probably forgotten. I choose not to share with others at work for some of the same reason described above. Over the years, I have met doctors, lawyers, and nurses in recovery. This disease is no respecter of persons. If I believe someone is reaching out for help I will be more than willing to share my experience, strength and hope. I know I have to give it away to keep it. "But for the grace of God there go I."
If asked, I tell. If I feel that my sharing my past will help someone, I tell. Just remember that if you put yourself in a position to turn down a drink 25 times then by the 26th time you might say yes. While in nursing school I outted myself and not once did anyone ever ask me to drink. On the flip side when they wanted to enjoy a drink they avoided me like the plague, or they would appologize for drinking. Basically this whole topic is a slippery slope. Whether or not to out yourself is as personal a choice as it is to stop drinking. No right or wrongs.
Wow, congrats ! I know , I always laugh to myself when the other nurses tell, me , you are so "put togeher", or other such statements. First thing I think is , " if you only knew how many comittiees are streaming through my head right now", or that I just got off the phone with my sponsor because some nurse ****** me off,,,,or the termoil my life can be in and how many meetings I go to to keep peace in my life. But, thank goodness, I can laugh at myself today. We are not a glum lot ! Again, congrats !!!!
Fairlythere, ASN, RN
87 Posts
Two years ago I got to awaken a lost dream and became an RN at 47 yrs old. This is the first job I have ever had where they don't know I am in recovery. I have seen a few people I know at meetings of course but we are all quiet about it.
Im having a big bbq in June to celebrate. Id love to invite a couple people I work with but they wouldn't get it. I am afraid I will be judged and monitored at work. Most of em know I don't imbibe, but that is as far as I have gone. It's weird to me not to tell, but this profession seems to be rather black or white. I would think MD's would be more understanding but they seem instead to be very intolerant.