Would anyone hire me?

[noname4rn]

I just joined this site though I have lurked. I'll just get right into my situation and question. I'm 35 years old and went to college in 2014, got accepted into the nursing program fall of 2015 so now I am half way completed. I have all A and A- grades.

Here is what keeps me up at night. I'll have to get into my history a little to explain but I desperately need advice, so I ask all to please stick with it.

When I was 20 I had suffered since 12 with anorexia. I was working at a daycare. I met a married man who was estranged from his wife and the primary caregiver of 2 little girls. I began babysitting for them to work extra, and became romantically involved with the father. I moved in when I was 21 and quit my daycare job to be a fulltime caregiver to his children and act as a wife. I gained weight and my anorexic tendencies really did subside a good deal, I chalked it up to getting older and having more responsibility and people to care for besides myself. The man I was with would not let me work, he wanted a stay at home mom and promised me marriage when his divorce was finalized. I'll say freely I was deluded. When I was 29 he cheated on me, his children were then 10 years old, I wasn't needed. I left him, stopped eating, and had no one because he did not like me socializing with friends or family.

Government aid got me on my feet and recovered from my problems, and I've had 5 years to regret my decisions, feel sorry for myself, then ultimately accept myself and change my life around.

Now to it. I haven't worked besides an under the table pay job since I was 21. If I take a job now I'll lose a big chunk my financial aid and scholarships however that's not the big issue. I'm ashamed of not working and ashamed of my story really. I don't know what I will tell job interviewers.

I won't use my ex-boyfriend for any reference. I don't want him to know where I am. Please, without judging too harshly my past....can anyone give me some words of encouragement or ideas? If you have read this far..thank you. I know it sounds bizarre. I'm in a bind what I can do about my job history and how to go about explaining why I haven't worked more.

[dishes, BSN, RN]

Find a job now, preferably in healthcare workplace, the work reference is more valuable than the cut in financial aid. Also, if you cannot find a healthcare related job, volunteer in a healthcare related position, (in addition to working in a non-healthcare job).

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I'm in a bind what I can do about my job history and how to go about explaining why I haven't worked more.

Just keep the explanation phenomenally simple: "I was a stay-at-home mom for all of my adult life."

No one needs to know that you were anorexic, or that the children were not yours biologically, or that you were never married to their father. Just keep it simple and say you were a stay-at-home mom who never worked outside the home. This is a common situation for many new nurses, actually. Good luck to you!

By the way, interviewers are not supposed to pry into applicants' personal family situations. If an interviewer asks how many children you have, respond that you had two stepdaughters who are now teenagers.

[EllaBella1, BSN]

I agree. I would just say that you were a stay at home mom and if anyone asks about your children just let them know that they were stepchildren and you separated. I do second getting a volunteer job. Most hospitals offer volunteer work. Will definitely help you to have some experience, even volunteer, on your applications.

[brillohead, ADN, RN]

I also doubt that a part-time job will result in a substantial loss of financial aid. Check with a knowledgeable person in your school's financial aid department to confirm that fact.

If you get into a healthcare facility now, even as an part-time "environmental services worker" (janitor/housekeeper) or in the cafeteria or any department at all, it will give you an advantage for getting hired as a nurse after graduation. First, you'll have an established reputation with the facility -- good worker, reliable, etc. And second, you'll be able to bid on internal positions before they are advertised to the general public. You may even be able to get a Nurse Extern position your last semester of nursing school, which is an amazing opportunity to work as a nurse with a preceptor, getting paid to learn!

And I agree with everyone else -- you were a SAHM to your stepdaughters, who are no longer in your life. All the other details are totally nobody else's business.