Worst visitors ever

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I once had a pt whose husband seriously asked me if would teach his wife to give bed baths to him. Of course I told him no. Tonite I found this top ten list of worst pt visitors and thought I would share. Feel free to add more.

10. The man who snuck in three cats to visit his asthmatic mother.

9. The visitor who ate all his father's food, then rang the nurse to say that the patient was still hungry and needed another tray.

8. The wife who asked you to take her stroked-out husband to the bathroom whenever SHE really was the one who had to go.

7. The son who emptied his mother's colostomy bag into the wastebasket.

6. The husband who fell asleep in the patient's bed while his wife was in the bathroom.

5. The wife who discontinued her husband's central line herself, because "John likes to sleep on his right side."

4. The 80 year-old daughter of the 98 year old man, who kept turning off her father's continuous gastric feeding because, "He never eats this much a home."

3. The children of one patient who insisted upon using their mother's portable IPPB machine as a scooter in the hallway.

2. The husband who kept sneaking in chocolates for his newly diagnosed diabetic wife. 1. The man who never actually visited his mother, but called twelve times every shift to criticize the nurses, the doctors, the food, and anything else that came to mind.

Specializes in Critical Care, ER.
{The husband of the psych patient who brought his wife a box of thumbtacks. She swallowed them.}

Maybe we should've suggested a post it note chaser???

Crazy families???

Here's a good one:

One perfectly good spring evening, my joy was interrupted by the ER calling with report...

The RN began her report with, "I am sooo sorry to be giving you this patient."

I knew from that point on it was a downhill slide.

Apparently, this 45 y/0 male had run out of suitable veins for injecting meth....so he opted for his member veins....(I know....I know....it's hard to believe....but I couldn't make this up...)

The initial 'rush' as it were proved to be rather valuable to all concerned....but after about three hours of priprism, he began to hurt something awful....

So his significant other....or S.O. as she preferred to be called....called 911 with a report of an erection that wouldn't go away!!

He ended up in ICU because not only was he a crazy insane meth freak....but he was a crazy insane meth freak with an erection that had engorged and now developed into compartment syndrome....and he was screaming his head off...

They wheeled this Wookie of a Man on a gurney to ICU in four point leathers....he was yelling and kicking and spitting....all over his beard which reached to his navel....(no kidding...) in fact...he resembled those cave man guys from Geico Insurance commercials....

His S.O. at his side....

She immediately latched on to my scrubs....literally....like a cockle burr....

and began to sob.....into my shoulder.....sobbing...."is he going to die????" she sobbed through smeared mascara and spandex to her neck.....she was sort of a deranged looking show girl type....with big hair....blue eyeshadow....and dinner plate sized earrings....that bangled in the breeze every time she twitched.....which she did alot of....since she also had used more than her alloted dose of meth.....

She began to walk down memory lane with me....concerning him....and well, I was a reluctant partner....but, because of where I was at the moment....it was difficult to run screaming from the building. "he and I have been together since I was only 15 years old" she said...."he practically raised me, you know?".....uh huh....I said, trying not to flinch too much...

"is he going to die???"....."no.." I said...."oh, that's wonderful news", she said...

and then....here's the one phrase that sent me straight into the utility room to belly laugh until I nearly peed my pants....

'HE'S THE BRAINS IN THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW?"

God help us all....

He was flown out to a urology specialist within the hour....nearly two thirds of his member had to be amputated....

I am not sure with all his shortcomings just how close he came to losing his whole member.....he was after all "the brains in the family."

I am just shakin' my head....:smokin:

I hope you are collecting your memories in some kind of written form because you are a very entertaining and talented writer.

An elderly gentleman had just had a cystoscopy and was being discharged to home. His wife was helping him dress. She's comes running to the desk yelling for me to come quick. I go rushing into the room thinking he's passed out or fallen over. He is standing in a puddle of urine.

In a calm voice I say, "that's okay, it happens all the time, we'll just get you cleaned up."

The wife says "No, you don't understand, after he went to the bathroom on the floor I thought he might not make it home to I think he might need one of those pads, like "Depends'."

I say " we can certainly get one of those for him. It's not a problem"

She says, "but you see, I didn't have one, so I thought I would just use a maxi pad and, well, you see... " and she couldn't go on.

So I take a closer look at the gentleman and he has a maxi pad stuck to his crotch. She had taken the wrapper off and stuck it to him the wrong way!

Needless to say he did not enjoy when I had to remove it!

As if a cysto isn't bad enough.

Had a daughter who asked me if I could give her mom some extra morphine to send her "into the light" because she was scheduled for vacation the next day. I told her I wasn't a nurse. She said "well, don't you have access? I won't tell anyone."

The sad thing: her mom was lucid and heard the whole thing. I had to call the supervisor to escort the daughter out after mom asked me to. Then I had to reassure the pt that we would never ever do such a thing. The woman was in tears and frightened that someone was going to kill her. She was dying, but it wasn't a right now kind of deal. She probably had months.

The worse visitors for me are the ones that see their mom, dad, etc once every 5 years and then when I ask the pt a question they answer for the pt. It doesn't bother me if the pt isn't able to respond but it frosts my crack when they say their mom wants pain medication and the pt is well enough to ask for themselves. I'll ask the pt if they are having pain. I get told frequently by the visitor to not ask the pt, they want pain meds. That's when I tell them that I listen to the pt first, point to the poster that have the pts rights on it and tell them that I serve to help the pt, not the visitor.

And I love the visitors who came in with a newly adopted baby from China who had carried with her a form of pneumonia that her grandmother got. The family brought in the baby so we all could be exposed to this strain of pneumonia. And I love the parents who take off their kids socks and shoes and let them run up and down the halls barefoot. For the love of God, what are people (or not) thinking?

I love the patients, it's the visitors I can't stand.

[quote=CRNI-ICU20;2096180'HE'S THE BRAINS IN THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW?"

God help us all....

He was flown out to a urology specialist within the hour....nearly two thirds of his member had to be amputated....

I am not sure with all his shortcomings just how close he came to losing his whole member.....he was after all "the brains in the family."

I am just shakin' my head....:smokin:

Odds are if he had most of his member removed he is no longer the brains in his family.

:rotfl:

Odds are if he had most of his member removed he is no longer the brains in his family.
Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Hospice,IV Therapy.
but it frosts my crack[/quote

:lol2: :rotfl: :roll :chuckle :D

Specializes in Geriatrics.

My favorite visitors are the families that dump off granny in the nursing home, only to come visit years later and nag at the staff cuz granny doesnt remember them, or granny cant walk or talk anymore. (gee, could it have been the stroke 3 years ago?) The "guilt visits" as I call them, usually are around christmas time, and only occur every 3 to 5 years.

Specializes in ICU.

We once admitted a drunk guy whom they had found in front of the bar having been beaen quite badly. His sons showed up (this was baout 0300) carrying a CHIHUAHUA!!!!!!. The best part is that the dog and the boys lived with mom and dad....yes, you guessed it. the boys left mom at home, but brought the chihuahua. The best we could figure was that the dog must have been the designated driver.

I was trying to start an IV the other night when the patient's son was trying to play in the needles and catheters that I had nicley piled in a small container to take to the sharps container. The only thing is the son was older then my dad, therefore he should have known better. He grabbed one used needle and asked if he could chase his kids around the house with it. I was shocked he wouls even think to touch them let alone paly with them. I was so glad to find out that his mom had been moved to a different facility. He was really something else.

Specializes in cardiac med-surg.
We once admitted a drunk guy whom they had found in front of the bar having been beaen quite badly. His sons showed up (this was baout 0300) carrying a CHIHUAHUA!!!!!!. The best part is that the dog and the boys lived with mom and dad....yes, you guessed it. the boys left mom at home, but brought the chihuahua. The best we could figure was that the dog must have been the designated driver.

thank you lobster for your sense of humor :lol2:

When someone feels out of control during a family member's sickness they often seem to lose their sense of reason. They start harping on stupid things like "Their lips are so dry! Get them another blanket! They like FLANNEL -- do you have that?!" When their loved one has expressed that they are FINE and or/they are fighting off death and chapped lips are the least of their problems. It happens all the time, it's pretty normal but it can be really frustrating when you're trying to prioritize care.

I had a guy all but flip out about how cold his wife's shoulders were and how awful she must feel over it while she was waking up from anesthesia. She had a blanket on her, she was normothermic and her shoulders were warm and moist. I was like "CALM DOWN!!!"

Specializes in med/surg, oncology.

This past weekend a doctor was going with a patient who was being transferred to ICU after she coded (she died later in ICU) and, another patient"s daughter stopped him, and asked him if she could speak with him. He told her he couldn't right now and she called his Sr. to say that he was being insensitive. She had to know that there was some kind of emergency going on, I mean this lady's room was right next to the nurses station which she had to walk by to get to her mothers room! I would think the 20 people all crammed in the room frantically running about and shouting orders out would have given this woman SOME clue that the doctor was not able to talk to her at that moment!

I once had a patients mother (pt. was an adult) ask if we had any silk sheets for her son to sleep on. Oh yes, sure let me run and get them!

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