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Working moms and daycare

I want to work this summer as a NA but I feel bad leaving my kids in daycare, this is the only reason I do not work. I have a 2yr old and a 4 year old. When I put them in daycare a couple of months ago for CNA school my 2 yr old would hang on my leg and wouldnt let me go when I would try to leave. I would also hate waking my kids up really early everyday, I would feel guilty. Any moms go throught this? Any tips on making this easier or adjusting easier?

My little one has been in daycare two days a week since she was eight weeks old and I went back to work. She loves it. Did you ask the provider how your youngest did after you left? It's a common thing for small children to pitch a fit when dropped off, but as soon and Mom and Dad are gone they're having a blast.

Yeah they did say he did fine when I left. I guess I feel bad waking them out of their sleep. How did you do on this? Maybe just put them to bed really early, huh? I feel so guilty I dont know why.

No, I did (do) nothing different. I would drop off Little One at just after 6 in the morning, and I almost always have to wake her up. I know she will catch up by napping during the day, so I don't worry about it.

My daughter went to daycare for the fall and spring while I was in school. She acted that way too for a long time when I would drop her off. Then one day it stopped. She got used to going. The key to dropping them off is not to hang around. Say goodbye and leave. Don't ever sneak out or they won't trust you. I always say bye and give a kiss and remind her that I will be back. She screamed for a while, but when you leave they do stop. This is why a lot of daycares have the mirror windows. So you can see them but they can't see you. My daughter stopped crying though a couple of months after she started going, and she is best friends with another little girl there.

As for getting up early, it is all about routine. I put my dd to bed around 7:30 or 8 and I don't wake her up until the last minute in the mornings, around 7. I get all of her stuff ready the night before so in the morning all I have to do is change her diaper and clothes. Then we go out the door. She takes about a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon when I pick her up.

Now it is summer vacation and the first week back home was really hard. She was used to playing with the other kids and now she wants that same attention from me, and I can't give that same amount of attention. She is an only child, so I take her out to the park and I play with her outside. I get help from grandma and grandpa so that is good. I also can't get her to sleep past 7 now! I start school again in 2 weeks and we will be back on the old schedule.

Good luck. It is really hard at first. Just remember children are all about routine and it is good to have them interact with other people.

NurseLatteDNP, MSN, DNP, RN

Specializes in Education, Administration, Magnet.

I don't like leaving my daughter in daycare, but I don't have a choice. Especially when I have to be in clinicals @ 6:30. I just made sure I pick the best daycare in my town, so I know she is well taken care of. I guess you have to to what you have to do.

I forgot to say, I don't use a "daycare" I go to a woman that is certified by the state and she operates out of her house. She watches about 7 children, so it isn't as crowded as a daycare and it doesn't cost as much.

I guess I feel bad because my children are really shy. I was shy too as a child. But anyways they will be in daycare when Im in the nursing program this fall. I could work this summer but the daycare issue is what bothers me but you do have to do what you gotta do.

Daycare is not for some families. I worked in daycare in my early 20's and to be honest, it was harder on the parents than the kids. Even the screamers were fine once the parents were out the door. The only kids we ever had problems with were the ones who were used to being held constantly, and they only "caused problems" because we couldn't hold them all the time.

I think my experience as a child care provider made it easier for me to send my own to daycare.

Lizzy the best thing to do is introduce them gradually. Like I said my daughter isn't going right now, but I do take her over there occasionally just to let her play with the other children. When I do this I usually stay too and chat with the daycare provider. She feels comfortable playing while I am there. When school started I had a schedule that allowed for her to only go 4 hours a week and with each semester I gradually increased it. I know that when I start nursing school she will be there twice as much as she is now, but I am confident that she will be fine. I think it is better to slowly introduce them. That way you aren't going from no daycare to full time daycare.

luvschoolnursing, LPN

Specializes in School Nursing.

Is it possible for you to work different shifts so you don't need to use daycare? When mine were little I worked casual pool at the hospital and didn't go in before 6PM. Maybe a friend or family member would be available in the evening or even an older teenager who could use a few $ and still keep your kids at home. I understand that daycare is necessary for so many, but I would look into other options first.

My mom has offered to watch Little One all the time, but I want her to be exposed to other children and to learn how to play.

My mom has offered to watch Little One all the time, but I want her to be exposed to other children and to learn how to play.

My mom can sometimes watch my children but I believe my kids need to be exposed to other children as well because they are really shy right now.

jrbl77, RN

Specializes in Med Surg, Parish Nurse, Hospice.

if it makes you feel any better, my children that are now 24 and 20 tell me that daycare wasn't as bad as i thought it was for them. my kids went to day care from the time they were 8 week old until age 7. my husband always took them as i had to be at work before him. i got the good part -picking them up. the hugs i got at the end of the day made it worth while. as a working mom, i have always felt that each age has its own problems and day care is one problem. good luck and try not to be to hard on yourself.

kstec, LPN

Specializes in Geriatrics/Family Practice.

I worked prn in the hospital pharmacy until my second child was three years old. When I say prn, I mean 8-12 hours a week. I only worked when my husband was off. When I started my pre-reqs I went one class at a time at night when my husband was home. I don't mind the whole daycare thing but I figured that if I was barely making enough to pay for daycare working full time than it wasn't worth the time away from my kids. I went to nursing school when my youngest started all day kindergarten. Some how it all worked out. Now when I work, still prn, my boys go to before and aftercare at their school and I pretty much take summers off because fulltime daycare is way to expensive. Around here they want $140.00 a week/per kid. So I come home with, NOT MUCH. I commend any woman who is single and works fulltime and does it all. I always tell my friends who do, that I am not woman enough to do that. But I guess if push came to shove, I would. No I will not have a big retirement fund and I have no benefits, but I'm glad so far, that I've done it this way. So I guess my piece of advice is if you can wait until your child is in school and work than it's less time away from them, because their at school already, while you work or go to school. Also, I have to mention that before me and my husband had kids, we said we would always budget that I would never have to work full-time, because his mother stayed home with him and his siblings and we agreed that is what we wanted with compromise of me working prn. Whatever choice you make, make sure you can live with it, and that school and work can always wait, bringing up a child can't.

fulltime daycare is way to expensive. Around here they want $140.00 a week/per kid. So I come home with, NOT MUCH.

Ouch. When Little One went to a licensed daycare it was $25 a day for part time or $60 per week for full time. She goes to an unlicensed one now, $15 per day. That includes meals. And there used to be times when L.O. wasn't picked up until 8 at night because Hubs had to work late, and there was no extra charge.

LateBloomingRN2B

Specializes in Interested in cardio/ER/triage, ICU, CCU.

Greetings. I have been a stay at home mom while going to school, evenings. My youngest is 3 and I'm going to work evenings or weekends (so my hubby has him) until he goes to kindergarten. :) Think about other shifts, and join a play group or take them to the park during the day, lots of moms and kids meet there and they get to know their kids and you can have them over to play as well. Also, you meet other moms and can trade daycare / babysitting for each other. Follow your heart and you'll never go wrong. Just my 2 cents.

hope3456, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, Psych, M/S.

OMG, Tazzy that is cheap for daycare. Where do you live? I live in CO, and the going rate is $40-50 a day for daycare....for the 'home' providers, the centers are even more.

Maybe I just have to vent, but my DD is 13mo old, and I have had some problems with the childcare situation. I feel like i have 3 strikes against me.

It is hard to even find providers in my area that take infants, or children under age 2. Then they are only open M-F 7a-6p, or similar hours, and want you to pay for 40hrs a week, whether you use them that much or not.....they are definately not accommodating to nursing schedules.

I work night shift part time, and only needed childcare from 6:30a when my DH leaves for work and 8:30 when I get home twice a week.....I found a neighbor who agreed to this - although she would watch her all day 1x per week when I slept. She was a young SAHM and she was agreeable to this for about 5months, I think she liked the xtra money.....but then quit on me one day when I went to get DD, she gave me a lecture on how I was 'spoiling' her, and was a @#$%@. Also she told me that babysitting 'just isn't her cup of tea.'

After this happened, i was only 'lucky' that I was able to change my schedule to only weekends when my DH isn't working, but if it wasn't for that I don't know what i would have done..

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