Working with fellow female nursing staff

styRN · Feb 23, 2007

Do you work in a unionized environment? If so, speak to your uion leader.

If not, and you have already made your feelings clear to your charge nurse, then proceed up the chain of command to the next level of suprervisor.

Is it because you are male, or are you able to identify why she picks on you? Are you the only one she does this to? Ask around to other nurses you feel comfortable with for their input before proceeding; perhaps there's a reason she's homing in on you that you will need the information for to proceed to the next level.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 24, 2007

Running to management works maybe 10% of the time studies show.

Stop being the professional nice guy who ignores and confront the person each and every time she speaks under her breath and makes condescending remarks.

"Excuse me I didn't hear what you just said. When you talk under your breath it makes me feel..............." "You may not have meant it this way, but let me tell you how your remark just sounded. It sounded condescending, can we talk about this?".

Try to get to what the real issue is. She may not like men, she may not like you for some particular reason. There might be something you don't see that you need to work on.

Be relentless and confront each and every time, no matter how busy and tedious it becomes. Try this for a week or so. "We talked about this before, but it keeps happening, can we talk about why this is so? Would you like to have a meeting without your supervisor on how we can address this issue, because I'm becoming very frustrated that we can't seem to resolve it?"

Having the person present when you involve management is better than going behind her back.

gitterbug · Feb 25, 2007

Tweety is right on with his advice. Good luck. Sometime it just takes being confrontational to solve the issue.

Shamira Aizza · Feb 27, 2007

Have experienced the same, but I've found that as I develop friendships and share my views on some of the RN's that have been unpleasant toward me, some of my other female colleagues also find them unpleasant.

My biggest dissappointment has been that I find some female RN's reluctant to mentor me or eager to address my inquiries when I have a question (I just made a big change in clinical population). But then, others are extremely helpful.

I just made a comment to a colleague the other day about having trouble getting straight answers from a clinical leader, and a female colleague told me that this clinical leader "doesn't like men" as a result of a bad relationship.

SEOBowhntr · Mar 1, 2007

Running to management works maybe 10% of the time studies show.
Stop being the professional nice guy who ignores and confront the person each and every time she speaks under her breath and makes condescending remarks.
"Excuse me I didn't hear what you just said. When you talk under your breath it makes me feel..............." "You may not have meant it this way, but let me tell you how your remark just sounded. It sounded condescending, can we talk about this?".
Try to get to what the real issue is. She may not like men, she may not like you for some particular reason. There might be something you don't see that you need to work on.
Be relentless and confront each and every time, no matter how busy and tedious it becomes. Try this for a week or so. "We talked about this before, but it keeps happening, can we talk about why this is so? Would you like to have a meeting without your supervisor on how we can address this issue, because I'm becoming very frustrated that we can't seem to resolve it?"
Having the person present when you involve management is better than going behind her back.

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 2, 2007

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

Yes, there's always risk when one confronts charge nurses and managers. So once has to choose their battles. Some battles are worth the risk and others are not.

If I were in a situation where management was unethical and people were making things up about me, I'd just assume be in the unemployment line that work under those conditions. So the risk of a confrontation would be worth it.

Young Woman · Mar 25, 2007

Hey i am a woman and hearing all this i never thought about the mans side

maybe i have been to harsh

at things

even when it comes to men i work with

young

markas214 · Mar 26, 2007

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

In nursing there is no unemployment line. I get a lot of respect where I am now and enjoy my job. 5 years ago I was being berated by an ADON over as petty issue, a nursing home resident had left her fibercon capsule on her nightstand and I was getting written up, and stood up and started to walk out. She said "you get back in here" at which point I told her I quit and she would be getting my notice that night. Her jaw dropped and she went silent. Since she could not threaten my job she had no power. I worked at an ER with a terrible manager and when I complained about inadequate staffing she began to ride me hard. I finally confronted her in her office, gave my notice and was told "don't you talk with anybody about this. It's bad for moral". I said "no your bad for moral. You have no interpersonal skills and the staff despises you". She accepted my notice, made it effective immediately and paid me for my two weeks notice too stay home. She was fired a few weeks later. Good chance she blackballed me at that hospital but again there are hundreds of places to work withinn 45 minutes of my home. There are way too many opportunities out there to stay in a hostile enviorment. Go to her boss and request a meeting. Write things down. You will need specifics and witnesses help. If they won't listen quit.

markas214 · Mar 26, 2007

Or under the wrong circumstances, it may get you in the unemployment line like challenging unethical management did me. They may find someone who "claims" things about you, and then fire you for a "violation" of personal conduct policies.

duplicate

gitterbug · Mar 28, 2007

I can honestly say I have liked most of the male nurses I have worked with. Only one or two got me riled up, we settled it between ourselves, and kept right on plugging along at work. Now, that is not to say I have not known male nurses I do not want to take care of me or my family, but I have known female nurses who I would barr from the room too. The trick here is to be professional, know your own worth, and be ready to hit to door if unprofessional or unethical situations become too dominant in your employment life. Tweety and Mark have great advice and insight, wish we could spend a shift or two together, I bet we would "git 'er done" and have an enjoyable time doing it. Respect and kindness are the least we should afford our fellow teammates. Have a blessed day.

gitterbug · Mar 28, 2007

Young Woman,

Take your own advice, count to 10, and then speak. Sometimes we speak too quickly, too harshly, and too unkindly to others. It is difficult to place anothers opinion before our own, but that too is part and parcle of being a professional. Have a blessed day and take some sweets to work and make sure the fellas get their share this time. LOL!