I've been a nurse for almost 8 years. I have always volunteered to work EVERY holiday (newyears, 4th of July, Thanksgiving etc...) just to have Christmas off to be with my family. I am 6 months into a new ER job and they have scheduled me for Christmas Eve AND Christmas day:sniff: My poor kid's are really upset. My husband is also a nurse and is scheduled to work Christmas day this year too.
I had to tell my parent's that we were both working and ask if they would take the kids. My mom was pretty nasty and less then understanding. She said she didn't think it was "fair" to ask that I work Christmas when I have kids. I told her that people still get sick on Christmas and I wasn't the only employee with children.
Here is what I need from you all... Please help me explain to my (never had a job outside of the home) mother why I have to work Christmas. and second...Help me understand why I have to work Christmas:sniff:
I am a nurse manager and a single parent with a small child, my family lives close by so I work most Thanksgivings so my staff can have part of the day off and I work Christmas mornings most of the time for the same reason. I just leave some gifts for my son to open with everyone else and then we open gifts again when I get home...
What a great supervisor. If more people with "power" had your attitude, maybe work atmospheres would be better. It's nice to see a nurse manager be willing to get dirty and down in the trenches with you when needed. There are many out there that won't. Your employees are a lucky bunch. Great way to handle the son too. I'm glad that works out for him.
sorry,but this is nursing. i work a very busy l&d and i am responsible for doing the schedule for 40 staff members. so please forgive me if i sound a little cynical. everyone wants christmas off. frankly everyone wants easter and mother's day and halloween off too. i am truly sick of every nurse with kids wanting special privileges. if this is the profession you chose then you take the good with the awful. so buck up cupcake! do your turn and wait for next year. or find an office job that allows you holidays off.
i totally agree with you. i know some ppl without kids who want the holidays off. why not? everyone has families who celebrate holidays.
What a great supervisor. If more people with "power" had your attitude, maybe work atmospheres would be better. It's nice to see a nurse manager be willing to get dirty and down in the trenches with you when needed. There are many out there that won't. Your employees are a lucky bunch. Great way to handle the son too. I'm glad that works out for him.
Happy Holidays Everyone!!
Thanks, they appreciate the fact that i don't ask them to do what I won't...
little did i know what a can of worms my first post here would open...
i have forwarded some of this post to my mother. some of it i have kept to myself:rolleyes: i have managed to work out a trade to be able to be home on the 24th with my kids and my husband.
but, here is something interesting. when i started asking around (not to get christmas off, but to get the 24th off) many of the older nurses who's kiddo's were grown volunteered to work my christmas or at least part of it my husband and i have worked it out so that our christmas will be on the 24th and hopefully next year we will both have christmas day off. but, i was so impressed with the lovely people i work with.
i see how angry this can make some people and i do understand it. actually this entire thread has given me a bit of an insight into my mothers feelings. people feel like family should be together on the holidays. true fact. but, in my home, from now on, the holiday will be the day of our choosing.
oh that's wonderful that everything worked out. i'm also glad you forwarded some of these messages to your mother so she could see how the holidays affect those who work. and yes there are some at work who are very accomodating and helpful. hopefully when they need some time off, you'll be there to volunteer!!! i think it's mostly about team work. we all want a holiday and we all want to spend time with our families. (what i wouldn't give to spend the holiday with my late mother - but that's asking for too much and it'll never happen ) but a good team will take everyone into consideration. on my unit we've worked closely together for many years (three) and we all accomodate the ones who desperately need the time off. it all evens out through the year anyway - especially in the summer (i luv to celebrate may 2-4) we have "out of towners", mothers with young children and daughters with bedridden parents. maybe your team needs to get to know you better.
i try and get my partying out of the way because my family recognizes that i have to work. the time and a half wage i get for holidays is worth the eight hours. and besides, my kids are young. they wake up at the crack of dawn christmas morning. we have a little party then i go to bed and my hubby takes them visiting. my dad's a doctor so he's usually working the holidays also.
so, are you relieved? do you feel better now? i'm very happy for you. :) i'm glad it worked out so have a great time! happy holidays and i hope this xmas is good to you and your family.
Tell your mom to look around...more & more businesses are opening for holiday hours. Grocery stores & gas stations are joining hospitals, fire, & police departments by being available 24-7, holiday or no holiday. Obviously your mom has never had to fill her gas tank, run to the store for that 'last minute' dinner item, or need help because of an injury or illness on a holiday.
I remember working Christmas one year. A young couple & their 2 kids brought plates of homemade cookies to the ED. They had also visited the local fire & police stations. The parents wanted to show their children that some people can't be with their families on holidays. The kids told us "thanks for being here so you can help people". Could your parents bring your kids for a quick visit during your shift? It might help (all of) them understand why you do what you do.
What a WONDERFUL IDEA! OP, maybe your parents could be convinced to take the kids around to some of the agencies mentioned in this post w/a plate of cookies. Or maybe they could be convinced to share the family dinner w/you and your co-workers, making a nice holiday for even more people. Here's a tip for your parents (sorry if it sounds smart-alecky, but it's really true): "Take charge of your attitude. Don't let anyone else choose it for you", or words to that effect, -Charles Swindoll-
By the way I do feel bad that you are having to work both days. My heart goes out to you and your family. Where I work, everyone signs up for the holidays that they want to work, and the ones they don't. We are allowed a 1st and 2nd choice. Everyone almost always gets their 1st choice. This works out well for folks that would rather have, say, thanksgiving or new years rather than xmas off. My brothers and I grew up w/a mother that worked in a hospital, and some years, she worked xmas. It didn't ruin our lives. We learned to roll w/the punches and make the most of it. Hope your holiday is happy, despite the disappointment
I too find that family members do not understand the rigors of the nursing profession. It is frustrating at times, and I cannot figure out how to make my family understand the strange hours, long shifts, weekends, or holidays. When it comes down to it at the end of the day (whenever that it depending on your shift hours), I just keep reminding myself that I actually make a difference in lives for a living. We all touch people in very important ways, whether we just smile when we walk in a room, help people die with dignity, comfort people in pain or fear, etc.
Imagine being a patient on Christmas?? I know your kids may not understand this, but I bet you are the patients' greatest gift on Christmas. What if we all decided to abandon our patients on Christmas? They would be helpless. Often we feel pressure from work and then an opposing pressure from our families at the same time...Not everyone will ever be happy...We won't even be happy a lot of the times...Maybe you should tell your kids that you can still celebrate the Christmas season, just not necessarily on the actual day of Christmas. Tell them that if you don't work, you can't get them the special gifts they want. And the best thing I can think of is to tell them that you're giving the people at the hospital a very special Christmas gift by helping them on the holiday. Your kids are a part of that gift by understanding and supporting that you have to work. It's a sacrifice, but hey, Santa works on Christmas and baby Jesus would be proud!
Okay, tell me if any of that helps...I know you'll still miss your kids tremendously on the holidays, and your mom will still probably pressure you....Just stay strong...You only get as stressed as you allow yourself.
Im sorry to hear you are working Christmas. I know how it feels for the kids as well. Growing up my dad was either away with the military or had to work christmas so we had to either do xmas morning in the wee wee hours of the a.m. (Santa put our house one of his first delieveries on the nights my dad had to work, he told me so :) ... ) so we could have a christmas with dad when he worked 16hr shifts.. perhaps you could do that???
Here is what i think.... It DOES TOO matter if you have kids.
However, I DID put in my time and NOW I have children and all I ask is to be there when they wake up in the morning on CHRISTMAS DAY( i work nights). For those of you that think it's not your problem .... Shame on you. You all had your childhoods too. Your are not just taking it from the parents, but from the children as well.
I posted this in another thread but it bears repeating here.
Yes, I had "my childhood". And two christmases in a row were spent, being happy that my father was alive and able to have made his monthly 5-10 minute phone call to us, within one week of the holidays. You see, he was stationed on an aircraft carrier half a world away for 20 straight monthes, serving our country by risking his life for it. And there were many christmases, passovers, easters, birthdays which he missed for that very reason. And there were no affordable video/digital cameras/cell phones/cheap long distance available at that time especially for the poor pay of a military man.
It is the Adults that generally make it a problem, not the children.
I have worked almost every Christmas for the last 35 years (except when I was working for a home health agency, and even then I was on call) because we don't have children. If there are nurses on your floor that don't have children, then they should volunteer to cover for you.
My mother still gets nasty about it after all these years, but I have to do what I feel is the proper thing to do.
And yes, I am working Christmas, New Years, and I will probably be working tomorrow night if I am needed.
Little did I know what a can of worms my first post here would open...
I have forwarded some of this post to my mother. Some of it I have kept to myself:rolleyes: I have managed to work out a trade to be able to be home on the 24th with my kids and my husband.
But, here is something interesting. When I started asking around (not to get Christmas off, but to get the 24th off) MANY of the older nurses who's kiddo's were grown VOLUNTEERED to work my christmas or at least part of it My husband and I have worked it out so that our Christmas will be on the 24th and hopefully next year we will both have Christmas day off. But, I was so impressed with the lovely people I work with.
I see how angry this can make some people and I do understand it. Actually this entire thread has given me a bit of an insight into my mothers feelings. People feel like family should be together on the holidays. True fact. But, in my home, from now on, the holiday will be the day of OUR choosing.
Congratulations on getting the eve off. I am glad to see you do not have to tie excess importance to a specific date on a calendar.
This thread has bothered me especially since my first post to it. In spite of my response people here continue to seem to have lost sight of what Christmas is. I can't help but wonder what this teaches our children. Today on my own unit I heard someone say, "every year people fight over the hollidays." As someone what wanting Christnmas off. I shook my head and wondered why? Was Christmas created for fighting? Was it created to make us want what we want when we want it? Was it created to make us angry? etc.
I have also been thinking about the many people who every year are away from thier family and children. I have myself spent a few Christmases far away from family and my child when I was in the Military. Every soldier shed tears singing Ill be home for Christmas, and Im dreaming of a white christmas.
Every Christmas there are people working so that we can have a good Christmas. Someone is working Christmas day so that the heat and lights work in our house, Some one is working Christmas so that crime in controlled, someone is working christmas so that the cows are milked. Some one is working Christmas so that if there is a snow fall that the roads are plowed and that stranded moterists are rescued. Some one is working Christmas to ensure my phone call to family far away gets through. I could go on and on but there are Tens of thousands of people working Christmas day so that we can enjoy it in all its glory.
I prefer to teach my children as I was taught is that Christmas is about LOVE. Not just children, not just family but those who are different from us those who do not have the benefits we have, Every Christmas My parents required us children to give some of our toys away. To make room for what Santa would bring. AND an absolute requirement was that one thing that we gave away had to be something we loved and did not want to part with. Just one. We were to pick what it was and it was to be voluntary.
My daughter recalls one Christmas she was helping wrap gifts. She was given a gift to wrap and was told it was for a poor child. There were some lovely bows that doubled as hair clips. She was shown two (one we knew she coveted and thought was prettier) She was asked to pick out which bow to put on the box. She picked the one that she really wanted. Then when she received that box on Christmas morning she was certain an error had been made in giving it to her. What she did not know was that she was being asked to sacrafice (though she was never told to make a sacrifice in this particular case) inorder to reep a reward for that sacrafice. She had not known that she wrapped her own gift.
She recalls that and treasures the memory as giving up that bow was the hardest thing she did at that age. She is already teaching her children by the rule I mentioned earlier about giving away a treasured possession. By the way the poor families we gave to sometimes had children that were not nice to us but still lacked. We had to do the right thing. We learned not to complain that they were undeserving or un appreciative. If we ever had I am quite certain there would have been no Christmas at our house because Christmas was not selfishness it was giving without strings without condition and sometimes to people we did not care for but who lacked. The children of the poor families never knew where the gifts had come from.
This taught me and each generation in my family something very valuable and precious.
Maybe we need to redirect this topic. The post previous to mine made me think about what is important.
I don't hide the fact that I am atheist. But that doesn't mean I don't care about others on their special holidays. What greater gift is there than the one that comes from the heart with absolutely no recognition?
My mostest favoritest gift I have ever given was the one that was left of the back porch of a neighbor's home. They had no idea where it came from but their Christmas was made whole when they all received gifts. Dad was out of work, Mom was a full time, stay at home Mom, and money was more than tight. I had the absolute thrill of seeing them open the back door and finding the packages.
There is no greater thrill. Everyone should do it. Makes me realize that I haven't planned my own Christmas. I need to do that.
Heh... I have to mention t-giving too. Last year we discovered on t-giving eve that the older man behind us had no place to go for dinner. At the last minute evil B (boyfriend) and I decided to make t-giving dinner. I bought a frozen turkey, got a recipe and was ready to go. Who knew how long it takes for 26# turkey to thaw?? Picture this... I'm standing on the edge of the bathtub running hot water over a frozen bird. Keeping in mind I am a vegetarian so cooking meat is not my cup of tea.
You know what? Instead of writing this I am going to copy and paste from a cooking board I frequent (ie: beg for advice since I'm NOT a cook!)
Here is last year's T-day festivities. I post on a cooking forum and a 20 year old LITTLE girl teaches me new tips and tricks. Oh my, I'm a horrible cook. So here is what I posted last year:
>>Steph...
I did the tday thing. Oye... I'm just not a cook. Tried to put the turkey in the bag and it fell out the other end... on the floor. By this time I got the chemo gloves out and started again. (Chemo gloves are verrrry thick) Gave it a shower and tried again.
I really didn't plan on cooking a turkey. I'm vegetarian and cooking dead things makes me feel all creepy. But the guy next door is elderly, had no money for a tday dinner, and no family to cook for him. He's not into charity AT ALL so I bought the groceries, agreed to cook the bird under the condition he makes the rest of the stuff. He's tasted my cooking before so he was cool with the deal. ;o) So was my better half. When the turkey went flying and landed on the floor (dead birds CAN fly!) and R started laughing at me... suffice it to say he helped with the shower and helped putting the darn thing in a bag! (There are two bags in a box, did you know that???) Picture this.... I'm standing on the edge of the tub holding the turkey up in the shower, besides, it helped it to thaw.... Got that visual? That was tday! ;o) BTW.. do you have ANY idea how long it takes a 26# bird to thaw?? Holy crap! Takes a LONG time! And, did you know they shackle it's little feet? What is a dead turkey going to fight anyway??
I tried the breast down thing, it rocked like a teeter totter. And do you have ANY idea how hard it is to "turn" a turkey in a bag mid cooking?? However I am here to say it "can" be done. It's just not as easy as you might think. It is all centered around *where* you tie the bag. See, you would THINK you tie it on top. But when you go to turn the bird (as in the instructions) the tied part of the bag ends up on the bottem. Noooooot a good place when you turn the bird.
Stuffing... I was warned not to stuff it. I'm just not skilled enough to do that. So I was told to stuff it with a couple of onions. Onions don't fit. So I crammed them up there and apparently that doesn't count as stuffing. Some recipes said onions, some said apples. So I crammed both of them up there. If you push hard enough, they fit. Amazing, I know.
The bird didn't kill anyone so I guess this worked. But I'm here to tell you, it was one HECK of a lot of work!
The little 20 year old CHILD responds:
>>LMAO!!! I am just sitting here laughing so hard I'm crying!
I wouldn't imagine that a 26 lb turkey "would" work, upside down. LOL!!! I don't think most people make one that big, so I doubt it's been tried with one like that. So how was everything, after the Turkey Adventure was finished?
My response:
>>I wouldn't imagine that a 26 lb turkey "would" work, upside down. LOL!!! I don't think most people make one that big, so I doubt it's been tried with one like that. So how was everything, after the Turkey Adventure was finished?
Yeah, laugh now! It wasn't funny when a dead bird was flying through the air! They really DO fly! I swear!
Great... NOW you tell me a 26 pound bird won't work upside down. Do ya think you could have mentioned that previously???? ;o)
You know, these web sites that talk about how EASY it is to cook a turkey, it isn't any work.. blah blah blah... you know what? THEY FIB! It is a heck of a lot of work and you are actually out of breath after giving it a shower! I could have done weight lifting and it would have been easier!
When you aren't planning on cooking a turkey and you wait for the night before tday to buy the darn thing, you get what you get. That means 26 pounds of frozen bird!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Nobody died so it must have worked. Apples and onions, that is clearly the trick. ;o)
Yeah, and my 20 y/o's advice on my next holiday meal? Check it out:
>>Here is how to cook ham:
Get in your car.
Go to your nearest Honeybaked Ham store.
Stand in line for an hour.
get a honeybaked ham.
go home and put it on the table.
That is how you make ham. LMAO!
My tday experiences.. right there... out there... for the whole wide world to see.
Please help me explain to my (never had a job outside of the home) mother why I have to work Christmas. and second...Help me understand why I have to work Christmas:sniff: 
tlhubbard
108 Posts
What a great supervisor. If more people with "power" had your attitude, maybe work atmospheres would be better. It's nice to see a nurse manager be willing to get dirty and down in the trenches with you when needed. There are many out there that won't. Your employees are a lucky bunch. Great way to handle the son too. I'm glad that works out for him.
Happy Holidays Everyone!!