Will I fit in with the other nurses?

[fascinoma]

Greetings, folks.

I am a 33 year old "pre-nursing" student.

I have a few questions to ask about the work climate/culture of nursing...

I'm female. Ordinary feminine "girly" female, though I have a committed relationship with another (equally girly) woman. My friends tend to be guys or "geeky"/academic type women, and on my volunteer stint, I hung out mostly with a guy nurse and the male staff, and didn't hit it off with the women. I've NEVER worked in female-majority work before being in medical, and I don't even know if I know how to work with women. I usually end up being excluded from cliques, and don't do well in work where there's aggressive social politics going on... I need to be able to just do my job and go home.

I am basically a "geek" and a career changer. Previously, I worked in the fields of computer games, multimedia, and software applications. In the breakroom, casual chitchat would be on a variety of subjects from ancient Rome to Star Trek to current events, and it was perfectly okay to talk about things that make you a "bore" at most people's parties.

As the web economy began dwindling, I worked in a grocery store, then in a small newspaper as a graphic artist. The change from "geekworld" to a more mainstream job was like being thrown into cold water. I found out for one that it's a major faux pas to bring up anything geeky around non-geeks, and that most non-geeks talk about the following: if male, what "things" they own or bought, and if female, what relationships they have, or frequently, badmouthing/gossiping about whatever female coworker isn't present. If I had to choose, I'd choose what the guys talk about.

I really miss the social environment of my old work. But I did not really enjoy the work itself. What I really love is the medical field, and medicine/health care is the current thing I am really "geeked out" about. The only thing is that while I enjoy the work, I have radically different hobbies from my coworkers in almost all jobs but computers. I'm a science fiction writer, though not published yet; I used to play AD&D; I go to sci-fi conventions; I meet with a group of geeks for discussion and board games on a regular basis.

I don't have social problems on the whole; in my various "extraverted" jobs I've gotten on well with my patients/customers/clients. It's the other coworkers that are an issue for me. I can work well with them while working. It's the "water cooler/break room" stuff that's an issue.

It seems that the serious shortage of nurses might indicate that I don't have to play politics as much, but I'm HOPING that's the case.. I've had a few people tell me that hospital social politics are a million degrees worse than corporate social politics. I have my own friends and I don't need to be buddy-buddy with all my coworkers, or hang out with them socially, and I do better in workplaces where it's not required.

I'm just wondering how I will do and if anyone has any suggestions for me.

[Rme4life]

all of the advice is great. i am an older student. my first job in the army was a job that i would frequently be the only girl in the group. now it's more even and i can really relate to the dynamics of a work relationship between men and women. i thought i would have a hard time working with women but its been nice. i still tend to talk more to the men, but you would be surprised how many nurses are more like you than you think.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I am somewhat similar to you. I am a feminine female who is introverted and would prefer to talk about geeky, 'academic' topics that require plenty of abstract thought. However, this does not mix well with most females in my age range (18 to 30 years old) who prefer to discuss guys, gossip, and engage in small chatter.

I, too, have worked in grocery stores, fast food places, retail outlets, and a factory. Additionally, I can wholeheartedly agree with your observation that 'regular', non-geeky (working class) men prefer to chat about things they own, cars, or stuff they're doing around the house. 'Regular', non-geeky (working class) women tend to discuss men, gossip about other women, and do a lot of small talk.

I think much of it has to do with their orientation in life. When I worked at the factory, grocery store, and fast food places, most of my coworkers were working class and had a present orientation to life. They lived for the day, tended to have fatalistic attitudes, and engaged in instant gratification (buying cars, electronics, and toys that they couldn't really afford). Therefore, their conversations reflected their orientations to life. These coworkers did not read, watch the news, and thought I was weird for wanting to discuss current events and academic topics.

[TrudyRN]

I'm another systems geek who has become a nurse.

Programming was great for me because almost everyone, including the women, was a nerd, like me. Nursing isn't the same.

Just keep to yourself (without being standoffish) and do your job. You'll be fine.

Amen.

[Soup Turtle]

It's been my experience that if you feel inadequate, people pick up on that and respond to it by keeping you in your imagined place. On the other hand, if you're positive and confident, you will have friends and "followers" regardless of the ridiculous things you might think or do. Most people are insecure at least some of the time about at least some things. Don't imagine that you're the only one.:smiley_ab