Wife Doesnt Want Like the Idea

[Luminosity]

Hey guys,

I am thinking of going in to the nursing field. I have been married to my lovely wife for just over 7yr now. When we got married she was finishing her degree in graphic design and I was supporting us. During this time I was taking night classes and working full time. Something I have recently gone back to doing. I have moved up in my career to a point where I am making good money, but since I'm in the construction field, I don't see the gravy train rolling much further and will be out with no degree and skill set that only applies to a dying industry. I quit school for a while when my career started getting more demanding. My wife understands that side of it, but wants me to finish in the business/accounting field. I dont want this to sound like some sort of midlife crisis thing, but I just cant see myself being even remotly happy sitting behind a computer crunching numbers all day. I have wanted to get into nursing for a while now because I want to be in a field where the work is a split between physical and mental. But more than that, I want to be in a field that actually means something. And I understand it isnt going to be all lollypops and rainbows everyday, but I think that the good will make up for the bad 10x. She says she doesnt think I will like it, and she does know me better than anyone. But I think she's wrong on this. Also, she keeps telling me that I will basically have to clean up feces and vomit all day. I know that isn't the case. The weird thing is that her mother is a radiologist and several of her auts are nurses, so I would think there would be more support from her. So Im kinda stuck on this. I want to go into nursing, but I dont think I can do it if I have a nay sayer in my ear constantly. My main concern is having every time I have a bad day it will be met with an "I told you so".

So now that you have way more background than you ever wanted, I'm wondering if any of the other guys on here have had this same issue with their significant other not wanting them to go into this field? (BTW, She's not the type to think Im not going to be manly or some other ridiculous tripe)

Also, can you guys give me a better idea of what the duties of an ER nurse would be. Thats the field I think I would be good at, mainly just because I know from administering first aid after a few accidents that I can react to stressfull situations well.

And as far as the vomit and feces thing, seriously, how much would a RN actually have to deal with that part of the job.

Thanks for any help you guys can give me. (BTW, I mean "guys" in the sense of a collective group of individuals, I would love to hear from the females the group as well).

[Davey Do]

Purple10 has made a very good point: Yes, we do this grunt work, but to make it a focal point is blowing one specific Nursing Duty out of perspective.

And yet, to provide Custodial Care can be a rewarding portion of our jobs. I mean, like, for example, even Jesus was reported to wash the feet of his Disciples. That's grunt work. And I think of that example when I'm providing care, sometimes.

There are so many aspects of Nursing. And there are ways one can find to even enjoy the (heh) crappy jobs.

So, it's not such a big deal for a lot of us. We say things like, "I can clean up poop and puke and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at the same time". Or, "I can bag and tag 'em while eating a burger".

It's all a matter of perspective.

Dave

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

I'm just coming off a busy, but fairly productive weekend capped off with a pretty decent evaluation, so maybe I'm seeing life through rose-colored glasses, but I suspect your wife may have heard two or more nurses talking about nursing, and that can be horrifying, if you aren't a nurse. Negativity is an important part of the bonding process. If you have a patient who is a nurse, sooner or later your conversation will probably turn to all the crazy patients you've had and the progressive dementia of your respective superiors. Nurses are as bad as junior high school boys trying to gross each other out, but no junior high school boy ever dreamed of the crap we see. The best shift any nurse ever had, "didn't suck as bad as usual." Admitting you're happy and that things are going well is a.) poor form (implies you're a better nurse than the rest of us schlubbs) and b.) is just begging for a combined code blue/code brown/ tonic-clonic seizure with psychotic features. It just isn't done. But there really are times that don't suck all that much.

As for the 3Ps (poop, ****, and puke), in my practice they are pretty much a daily event, but not all day. Often, when I have to deal with patients' bodily fluids, I wear gloves. Sometimes I find an aide and explain that I really wish I could help, but I'm too busy reflecting upon the patient's long term goals and how they might more effectively pursue them. Then, as the aide stares in disbelief, I hide. Yes, it's childish and stupid, but I'm a great believer in going with my strengths

[JesseLVN]

I can make those buns shine like a bumper on a new Buick!

Dave

LOL can't stop laughing! :)

[oryxandcake]

It sounds like you already have made up your mind.

Go for it. The only thing you will regret is not entering the program earlier.

As for the marital aspect, I would suggest doing your homework, coming up

with the financial figures and working out a budget and then present it to your wife and discuss the feasibility of the program. I think once she sees that you are truly serious about it and emphasize the importance of her support, that maybe you'll be able to get on the same page.

[jjjoy, LPN]

"Told-you-so's" shouldn't be quite so threatening if you really have a good idea of what you are getting into. Maybe that your wife's doubts bug you means that you need to find out more about real-world, day-in-and-day-out nursing. Maybe not.

Still, most people's image of nursing isn't all that close to the reality of it. To find out more, volunteer at a hospital and/or take a nursing assistant course and get some hands-on clincal experience. Ask friends and family to introduce to you nurses who you can talk to and maybe even shadow at work. Find out about your local job market for RNs, especially entry-level opportunities. While you might like ED, you still may have to work bedside several years before an ED opportunity comes available.

Best wishes whatever you do!

[DC Collins, ASN]

There is poop to be cleaned up from time to time. Vomit too. Key being from time to time.

Hey, you ever want to get your Techs or CNAs on your side? Help with the cleanup! These people can make you or break you. And they deserve a break once in a while. But it is *far* from your whole day.

You can imagine, I am sure, all of the other things nurses do. If you can't, then you need to know these things before you pick nursing anyway, lol.

As for going for it, hey, life is GRAND when you are doing something which you feel is helping others. If she loves you, and you enter the field in spite of her advice, she will then support you once you move forward.

Besides, if she does ever find that you made the wrong choice by entering the field of nursing, she will have plenty of, 'I told you so!' ammo. She will likely enjoy that :)

[Tedman]

i say go for it! i went back to school at 40 to enter this career and love it! my wife was completly supportive and liked the idea of me bettering myself and our family. the rewards are endless and the satisfaction at the end of the day makes it all worth it. even if i clean up body fluids.

my thoughts on the body waste thing is just this....if you don't embrace every aspect of nursing as "care" then you are a poor nurse. i'm not saying you have to like it, but if its the care a patient requires then it is nursing. read this:

[color=#20287f]the florence nightingale pledge

i solemnly pledge myself before god and presence of this assembly;

to pass my life in purity and to practice my profession faithfully.

i will abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous

and will not take or knowingly administer any harmful drug.

i will do all in my power to maintain and elevate the standard of my profession

and will hold in confidence all personal matters committed to my keeping

and family affairs coming to my knowledge in the practice of my calling. with loyalty will i endeavor to aid the physician in his work,

and devote myself to the welfare of those committed to my care.