Hello. I just started to work on an Oncology floor/BMT floor. I work at a VERY large teaching university/medical center. We take everything when no one else will. Anyhows, my mother died last year of IBC at the age of 52 so that is why I want to work in Oncology.
I have had this patient for 2 days now, 36 y/o female with lung ca and mets to the liver and bone and she has ascities so bad she looks 12 months pregnant! She has a PCA pump and Methadone for pain and it is so sad to know that she has gone through all of these tx's and they have not doen any good. The doc's are going with her wishes to do more, but have the docs really told her the TRUTH about what happens once you mets to the LIVER!?! The doctors and residents and interns and sub-i's sit in the lounge and talk in front of the nurses about how so and so is NOT going to make it and their chances are grim and WE as the nurse know that once you mets to the liver it is NO good, but why can't the docs just tell them so they can get their affairs in order and be comfortable? I know once my mother mets to the liver it was very fast after that.
The nurses tell me that at this med. center they take what every other place won't because it is the patients LAST resort cuz they have tried everything else and because we are a teaching hospital they experiment. But the nurses tell me who have been there for 15 years that they RARELY see anyone do "GOOD". They usually watch these patients deteriorate over a few months, if that then say good bye.
Anyhows sorry for the rant but I have one more thing to say. A patient died tonight at the age of 52 and the family started to cry and I had to excuse myself and go cry my eyes out cuz all I could think about was last year losing my mother. How long will that go on for? I KNOW I am not the oncology nurse to have lost a loved one to cancer.
hi there..i am new to this website and i am also a bone marrow transplant nurse who has worked with transplant patients for 4 years. it is hard but so rewarding. i am also a traveler and i have a mom with cancer. i have also worked in hospice. i think that has helped with seeing how the docs live in denial and are not always as honest as they should be. i am sure there are alot of reasons for it but who knows. i can tell you that any big teaching facility you go to .. they will say..these patients come here as a last resort..we are their last hope. i have worked in 3 places that believe they are the only hope..haha!!! but really, i hope you can hang in there. we need caring transplant nurses. and you know..it is ok to cry in front of a patient's family! i have been there when many patients have died. i remember them all but one touched me in a special way. she was 21 and had had 2 transplants...her dad would sit at her bedside and take such wonderful care of her. they were such a special family and we all got close to her and the family. when she died, the sun came out and her dad said..look she is smiling..we all cried including the doctor! while that is sad, i was so honored to be part of that experience. i am still in touch with that family today. and there are successes..we don't always see them because they go to the clinic and then home. i am still in touch with some of my transplant patients. they send me pics and email me! of course, i will not lie, more die than live but i would never trade my experiences for any other type of nursing! i hope that helped!
It helped immensly. Thank you for your reply. I did cry infront of the family and they knew why I cried, I was sad for them and I missed my mother. The other night I found one of my mother's hats that she wore when she had no hair.....oh did I cry like a big baby! I am 35 years old. Abd then the next day at work someone dies and I lose it.
How I love onc nursing though. I really do, not sure quite what it is but I truly feel that I belong there! I first worked somewhere else, and I hated it and I only worked there for 4 months and this is my 2nd job and I love it already. The whole time I was working at the sub-acute rehab I didn't feel like I belonged there, something was missing and I dreaded going to work. I actually LOVE going to work, to an extent, of course I am human! :lol2:
Anyhows I am off today and I will enjoy my kids and tomorrow I will be back to work.
oh..i know!!! i can't imagine you're pain..i am so grateful my mom is still alive!!! i hate to think what it will be like when she dies. and i know what you mean..i love oncology nursing..i feel so happy when i go to work..sad sometimes.but happy!! i worked in an icu unit..just not happening for me!! too much drama..haha!! i am 48!! oh my!! did i say that!!! and my desire is to teach!! i want new nurses to see how great nursing is..hard..very hard!! but so wonderful!!! well i have to work tonight..night shift..i hate it!! but with travelling..you do alot of night shifts..haha!!! wouldn't change a thing!!!
I was just having this same discussion with somone today. I have FAR more faith in the opinions of nurses when it comes to matters of "time left" than that of doctors. (I have more faith in nurses over docs abt a lot of things actually) My FIL was a prime example as well. In spring of last year he was admitted to hospital with severe acites due to cirrohsis. (He had contracted Hep c in the 70's from a transfusion during surgery, the man never drank. Sad) I told husband then that this was a very bad ominous sign. When family asked the doc abt it he was nonchalant, telling them they would do para and monitor him, if he filled again they could bring him in and do it again. No mention of truly how sick he was. In Sept he was readmitted to hosp with same thing. Doc never said a thing. I was furious, I told hubby they needed to have a family conference with doc and pin him down on Dad's condition. Couple days later I get called at work, MIL cant get ahold of anyone, crying. The social worker went in and began talking to her abt admiting him to hospice. This was the first time anyone told the family anything honest. I went to get hubby and of course he was furious, wanting to know who was lying to them, SW or doc? Got to the hosp and I spoke to SW and explained family was not told by doc that dad was in this bad of condition, although I knew. SW told me she asked doc if family was aware of his condition and he told her "they should be". She was able to get the doc on the phone and they had a family conference with him. My hubby let him have it, and I have to say I think he deserved it.
Once in hospice, the nurses and staff were wonderful. We had more honest answers than we had been given in over a year. He passed peacefully after 3 weeks. (doc told family 6 months)
All of us have encountered what we viewed as false hope in a pt,but your personal experiences may take on more meaning if you can support the dignity of that pt you felt is being misled.Be proud that you advocate for famliy visitors and pain control and choices.Maybe we can't change the whole world but each day you have the chance to lessen a pain,provide some solitude or to listen.I have never worked oncology but did work for many years on a busy surgical floor. I would watch a life turn direction from hopeful to lost on those "am rounds" while a wonderful surgeon sat on a bed of someone I knew was about to hear the word cancer.I would nurse those tubes and walk those lungs with great expertise but I had to learn to be a nurse and a human at the sametime......to understand a walk that day wasn't going to make anything better,that that angry family member was really reaching out when she snapped at me about not tidying a bed.
I have the greatest respect for all of you who fight for pt dignity and who carry your own pain while you work.Be true to waht you believe in and your pts will know you gave them what they needed most,not treatments or drugs,but time and true campassion!
Anyone out there ever lose a family memer to cancer and work on an oncology floor now? How do you cope? Does it get easier cuz I find myself CONSTANTLY thinking about my mother! All the bald ladies LOOK like my mother.....well make me think of my mother and when someone dies I lose it.Carlissa
Carlissa, my heart goes out to you. I truly have no advice as I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I'm only think that some solace to you may be that your Mom is looking down on you proudly for taking care of these cancer patients inspite of how hard it is on you. I couldn't work on an oncology floor even w/o losing a loved one to cancer. God Bless You Honey, I hope things work out for you.
Anyone out there ever lose a family memer to cancer and work on an oncology floor now? How do you cope? Does it get easier cuz I find myself CONSTANTLY thinking about my mother! All the bald ladies LOOK like my mother.....well make me think of my mother and when someone dies I lose it.Carlissa
Carlissa, my heart goes out to you. I truly have no advice as I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I'm only thinking that some solace to you may be that your Mom is looking down on you proudly for taking care of these cancer patients inspite of how hard it is on you. I couldn't work on an oncology floor even w/o losing a loved one to cancer. God Bless You Honey, I hope things work out for you.
I am sorry for your loss. I work in Radiation Oncology. My Doc is wonderful. He gently but honestly discusses end of life issues. I have shared a 'therapeutic cry' many times with my patients and their families. Our local Hospice offers grief counciling for family and friends that have experienced loss. Maybe that would be helpful. Keep hanging in there!
While I am sure that doctor's want to be honest about their patients' conditions, some of them (NOT ALL!) are still so in the "cure all" phase. Unfortunately, they see a patient dying as a failure to them. I think that nurses because of their training and being around the patients so much more are able to understand that unfortunately patients will die under their care. It is not a reflection on them but it is the disease that has killed.
I think that life and death are more poignant on a hem/onc floor than just about any other outside of ICUs.
She was able to get the doc on the phone and they had a family conference with him. My hubby let him have it, and I have to say I think he deserved it.
MrsStraty
65 Posts
It helped immensly. Thank you for your reply. I did cry infront of the family and they knew why I cried, I was sad for them and I missed my mother. The other night I found one of my mother's hats that she wore when she had no hair.....oh did I cry like a big baby! I am 35 years old. Abd then the next day at work someone dies and I lose it.
How I love onc nursing though. I really do, not sure quite what it is but I truly feel that I belong there! I first worked somewhere else, and I hated it and I only worked there for 4 months and this is my 2nd job and I love it already. The whole time I was working at the sub-acute rehab I didn't feel like I belonged there, something was missing and I dreaded going to work. I actually LOVE going to work, to an extent, of course I am human!
:lol2:
Anyhows I am off today and I will enjoy my kids and tomorrow I will be back to work.
Carlissa