Where Do I Go From Here?

[boojeboy]

I recently graduated with my BSN back in 2014 and have worked about 14 months as an RN doing med-surg/telemetry work. I've lost two jobs due to my attendance in that time and am currently unemployed.

I have a lot of issues with anxiety, PTSD and depression, and I suffer from panic attacks. I'm an Iraq war vet. Its amazing that I made it through nursing school, but somehow I did. Frankly I don't know that I should have been a nurse.

All I had worked were 12 hour night shifts. This has been a pretty thankless job for me, and maybe it was stupid for me to even consider it. Most nights I never got a lunch break, rarely even was able to get away to use the bathroom, and on those days where I had to stay late to catch up on charting because we never have any aids, I get lectured by my manager for lacking time management.

I'd dread going in to work most nights because I knew it would be another hellish night. Then I'd get nausea, and diarrhea, sometimes migraines from the stress and worry. Why worry? Because I'd spend another night doing everything I could to keep my patients alive and they'd do everything usually to stop me. Not wearing that oxygen, refusing breathing treatments, jumping out of bed to go to the bathroom when they shouldn't. Most nights I was a nervous wreck.

I really enjoy speaking to patients and educating people on medications, their health and so on. I want to help people get better and become healthier. I'm interested in diabetic education, since so many diabetics I've come across don't know the first thing about it, but I just don't think I can work the floor in a hospital. I feel stupid for going to nursing school and I feel like a failure at life right now.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.

From your description, you have already managed to overcome very significant obstacles just to get through school & obtain your license. Isn't it time to invest some work into "you" for a change? Please explore services that are available to help you cope with the lasting effects of your military experiences. No matter what your practice area, nursing work involves emotional investment - if your own emotional reservoir is empty, you don't have anything left to give. Hospitals are not the only places to work.

In the meantime, you could focus on becoming a CDE (diabetes educator) by seeking employment in a setting where you can begin accumulating some relevant experience. You have to have at least a 1000 hours of experience in teaching diabetes self-management in order to be eligible for CDE certification.

Also - any of us who is coping with chronic illness of any sort, need to have a good understanding of FMLA processes. This can protect your job status if you require days off for related treatment or episodes of illness. You may want to look into it for future reference.

Wishing you the absolute best of luck on your Job Search and career.

[NotYourMamasRN]

From one Vet to another, Thank you for your service!

I am so sorry for what you have been through but being that you and I have similar backgrounds with our military experiences, know that you are not alone and that I know that you don't want my sympathy.

What I think you need is a good old dose of motivation and encouragement. Please feel free to message me, BTW, if you need a listening ear.

I have struggled too in many ways but I found environments suitable for me and found the will to make things work. You can do this too. Don't be discouraged by your past and don't let your disability discourage you either. There is something out there for you as a nurse, and if you look with an open mind you will find it!

Please reach out to me if you ever need support, I am always her for my brothers and sisters!

*Virtual High Five*

[UTVOL3]

Home health nursing has a big patient education component too. Maybe look into that as an option.

[Kitiger, RN]

Again, Thank you for your service!

Could you try a combination of private duty home health and diabetic education? Home health is 'way less stress, and would give you an income while you work your way into diabetic teaching. Just an idea.

Not all diabetics want to change, of course; nor will all improve, but with encouragement, who knows? And this is an area where you can make a real difference for those who want to learn.

I got out of hospital nursing because it was too hard for me to keep up with all the multitasking involved. Maybe you should go for something different, too.

[boojeboy]

Thank you all for the advice and the support. I'm still in the process of trying to find another healthcare job. I had to take a long hiatus as a nurse since late February (here it is June) due to work stress, relationship stress, home problems, and changing things up with new medications for my depression and anxiety. I also broke out in shingles, which was an absolutely miserable experience (I'm only 35) and it really showed me how badly I need to get my stress and life under control. While I live in a city with several hospitals, the vast majority of openings are for floor nurses. Finding some place to get experience with teaching patients about diabetes control has been difficult to say the least. Most jobs that I find that look interesting are asking for someone with graduate degrees and several years of experience. I thought having a bachelor's degree meant that I'd be able to educate patients? -Sigh- When I was working the floor I was typically doing the job of a CNA, LPN and RN, and of course my manager was all to quick to admonish me if I went over (you should practice better time management!) or tell me he "didn't want to hear about it" when he asked about my attendance.

Now my savings are pretty well drained and I'm looking to get back onto the floor (not much else out there, it seems) but only part-time. Maybe I won't be so stressed out then. It just amazes me watching nurses that I worked with keep their heads down when a call light would go off, typing and charting away, rather than see what a patient may need. How many times I have caught some patient who was about to fall, or run into some other patient's room that wasn't even mine to provide meal and food set-up since we never had any CNA's. In the end I felt like I was taking care of everyone on the floor. What's worse is that people in my life who aren't nurses have no idea what it is like, how stressful it is, and they think of me like a failure as a nurse.

I guess I'm just saying thanks for at least hearing me and offering some support. I really do appreciate it.