My husband's grandmother was admitted last night to a local hospital. I worked there for 6 months last year and found the conditions and care horrendous. Every day I left I was in tears and thanking God I hadn't killed anyone and thankful I still had my lisence.
I don't want to alarm them all, but I keep asking questions, wanting to make SURE they are actually doing SOMETHING for her. (as in my experience they don't)
I don't want to be the obnoxious family member either to the hospital OR to my in-laws, but worry about her. Things are strained with my in-laws (though I get along well with his grandmother), none of them value my opinions, but I don't want to have information and not use it regardless of what they think of me.
What did they (the doctors or nurses) say to you when you mentioned your concerns? Did they just blow you off?
I haven't been there. She is tired and not up to visitors right now.
I'm getting conflictng information now. Family makes it sound like she may not make it through next week, but say she's on oral "water pills".. not IV... lowest her sats got were the 80's...
She also has CHF, so I'm curious what her BNP is... if it's a CHF or COPD.... Wondering why they aren't doing more to get rid of the fluid if that's really the problem. (was told she coudn't breathe b/c of fluid in her lungs)
I don't think asking questions should appear as obnoxious, depending on how you ask them. However, if things are strained with the in-laws you will likely be viewed as obnoxious whether you ask 2 questions or 10. You have a right just as everyone else to be concerned about his grandmother.
It's a shame they don't value your opinions. They could really use them to their advantage.
I asked my husband what he thought I should do. I told him I did NOT mind steppng on the toes of the hospital, and would push for answers if he wanted- but wasn't sure how far he wanted me to push with his family. They are an emotional wreck, but then what they tell me she doesn't sound too bad?
How does your husband stand in this? Is he feeling caught in the middle or does he lean one way or the other? I'm not trying to start a family feud or anything but where he stands could make a big difference in things for better or worse.
He's worried, wants me to ask, but doesn't want me to push with the family. Basically now we're trying to find out if we can go visit so I can push for answers there- not from his family who doesn't really seem to know.
Hospice might be a good idea, as though she is chronically ill, she will, in all probability, die from her COPD in time. All of the treatments you mentioned can be and are done in the home. Hospice does NOT mean do not treat. It means keeping folks in the comfort of their own homes, out of the hospital, and keeping them comfortable. All the things you just mentioned are things hospice would do in the patient's environment of choice.
At this hospital DNR/hospice means do not treat. I had a patient there once who desatted in the low 80's when up to the bathroom. (recovered quickly with 3-5 minutes of increased O2, not a retainer)...
I was told to quit checking her sats, that she was COPD and therefore going to die from it anyway, that we never turn up O2 over 2L on a COPD patient.
Sounds a lot like how my husband would be. Understandable. That's good that he is supportive of you. He doesn't want to cause more stress on the family, though you are really trying to just help and relieve some stress for them.
Everyone just wants the best for grandma. I think it's great that you are using your knowledge to look out for her.
It will definitely be best for you to hear the information straight from the hospital. There's always a chance of miscommunication when information is passed on through the family.
All you can do is give them the information and hope they chose a different facility next time. If you can visit her and ask questions I would regardless if they think Im obnoxious its your loved one.
AprilRNurse
186 Posts
I haven't been there. She is tired and not up to visitors right now.
I'm getting conflictng information now. Family makes it sound like she may not make it through next week, but say she's on oral "water pills".. not IV... lowest her sats got were the 80's...
She also has CHF, so I'm curious what her BNP is... if it's a CHF or COPD.... Wondering why they aren't doing more to get rid of the fluid if that's really the problem. (was told she coudn't breathe b/c of fluid in her lungs)