When do you know it's time to give up? :/

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Oct 29, 2014

I failed out of nursing school and because I was able to look at myself to really see what the underlying issue was that was holding me back, I was able to develop a plan to succeed. I was readmitted and finished nursing school, almost from the beginning. Nursing School usually runs 2 years or 4 semesters. My program was 6 semesters. I was on a 3 year plan in a 2 year program. Instead of getting depressed and grumpy about having to repeat that much work, I faced it head-on with a smile and kept on going.

I could have given up. I could have walked away. I made a choice. I don't know what's going on in your life that is causing you to have this much difficulty, and frankly I really don't care to know because it's not my problem. I had to work full time and support a family while going to school full time for 3 years and despite all that, I still graduated with honors. Why do I throw that out at you? Because I want to show you that it's possible to have really tough circumstances, kick them in the teeth, work through it all and keep on smiling through it all. For you, it comes down to making a choice. I'm not going to say that the right choice for you is to stay in the program or to quit.

You must choose that on your own. If you do choose to stay in the program, you need to figure out what you need to do to pull your backside out of the hole you've dug for yourself. And then you must have the conviction to do it. Nursing School isn't easy. It's not meant to be easy. It's meant to mold people into safe, beginning nurses that are ready to begin really learning what it means to be a nurse.

Yes, I am an RN. Yes, I have a license. I'm also a Paramedic. I have a license for that too. What are those licenses really? They're licenses to LEARN. I don't know it all, and I never will... but that won't keep me from trying to become the expert at something. The day I think I know it all, that there's nothing else to learn will be the day I quit because that's the day, the very moment that I will have become truly dangerous, despite all I've learned.

Your choice. Weigh everything and make a wise one.

KiggyPupPuff · Oct 29, 2014

Agree with akulahawkRN and LOVE her statement "licenses to LEARN". I don't pretend to have an answer for you but for whatever its worth, let me share my experience if only to try to empathize

ID'ing the underlying factor helped me. I "faked it" till this 10th week of RN program (last week to withdraw with W). I am good in theory but sorely missing that Pass/Fail line for clinicals due to anxiety topped with lowered self-confidence. I've been bummed and ashamed (because others observe my performance) all semester. Fact: Failure sucks and despite all my efforts to prepare I still bumble about once on the floor. Fact: I'm not hopeless (and I don't think you are either)

Anyway, it's a weird and mixed-emotions sort of choice (sort of like you're watching yourself make it), but I'm making the conscious decision to NOT be ashamed because I tried my hardest (my unwashed laundry mountain will totally vouch for me). I have a weakness and its holding me back, I don't feel emotionally or mentally capable of turning the tables in one week, thus I am regrouping. I can honestly tell myself that withdrawing with the intent of taking this class again isn't "quitting". And reading success stories on this website really helped me gain perspective.

Also I try to focus on the pro-side of taking a year off 1) I may find work as an LPN in a skilled nursing facility 2) I could train and find work as a CNA 3) I can actually sit down and enjoy my copy of Ackley Ladwig Nursing Diagnosis book - NO JOKE, I've found a lot of interventions that I can apply in my personal life 4) I can make tons of med cards 5) I'll know what to expect on my next go and actually have patient care experience this time around 6) I've learned alot about my anxiety under fire which just opens up many possibilities of combating it - this of course is the most important "pro" because 1-5 don't solve my underlying problem.

I've chosen to Withdraw instead of finishing the semester off and risk a failing grade. For me, time to recoup and tackle my performance anxiety is an opportunity. Its so against the grain to "quit" but does dropping a class with the intention of taking it again count as "quitting?"

How about you? What would the pros and cons of retaking v/s staying be? Can your instructor expand on what "studying effectively" means. Can a counselor or tutor? I am wishing you the best of luck - if you can find a way to finish the last few weeks I am wishing the BEST energy.

Oh btw, IF you want, there is guy on youtube who I go to for everyday lingo explanation of the concepts I don't understand. I can't think of his channel right now but try search the concept on youtube and he's usually one of the first 20 results.

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Oct 29, 2014

KiggyPuffPup: The only thing you didn't get correct is that I'm a "he" not a "she". I really don't mind much because Nursing is so female dominated, even with increasing numbers of men entering the field, that "she" is going to be way more often the correct pronoun. Nursing textbooks also use "she" to describe nurses. It's the same to me as other medical textbooks using "he" to describe the provider, even when there are increasing females entering that profession...

You're right about one thing: dropping the class to take a "W" is sometimes the best course of action, as long as the program will allow you to re-enroll without penalty. It sounds like you're doing the right thing for you to figure out what you need and then return with a renewed vigor and understanding of yourself.

You also have some very good advice for the OP. For the OP: there usually are resources on campus that you might be able to avail yourself of to find out your most efficient learning style and method is. I know mine... but then again I knew that going into nursing school as I was 38, had a Bachelor's, and a lot of life experiences between my first run at college and my nursing school run.

KiggyPupPuff · Oct 29, 2014

:oMy sincere apologies akulahawkRN, sir :up: . I definitely should know better. Also post-it noting "renew vigor" on the side of my screen - definitely a great goal.

StudentN123, just to add - our student learning outcomes are pretty broad so I also have anxiety when studying; end up missing concepts because focusing on tiny details. This is something I found out yesterday after talking with another instructor (who is psyche APRN- yay!): I qualify for the special learning needs resources because of my anxiety and I think (with lots of gratitude) its required that our school attempt to accommodate students with learning difficulties - free one on one tutoring etc. I realize you might not be the same but maybe this is something you can explore? From my perspective, being comfortable with direct patient care counts so much more than theorizing about it (that said, its still important) so I encourage you not to give up on that momentum if you feel this is the right action. Do you know any student nurses who graduated last year and are waiting for jobs/licensing? I've toyed with the thought of asking for their help since they might wanna keep their nursing knowledge sharpened - short of depriving you of a good learning experience by giving you all the answers.

Rocktheman · Oct 29, 2014

KiggyPuffPup: The only thing you didn't get correct is that I'm a "he" not a "she". I really don't mind much because Nursing is so female dominated, even with increasing numbers of men entering the field, that "she" is going to be way more often the correct pronoun. Nursing textbooks also use "she" to describe nurses. It's the same to me as other medical textbooks using "he" to describe the provider, even when there are increasing females entering that profession...
You're right about one thing: dropping the class to take a "W" is sometimes the best course of action, as long as the program will allow you to re-enroll without penalty. It sounds like you're doing the right thing for you to figure out what you need and then return with a renewed vigor and understanding of yourself.
You also have some very good advice for the OP. For the OP: there usually are resources on campus that you might be able to avail yourself of to find out your most efficient learning style and method is. I know mine... but then again I knew that going into nursing school as I was 38, had a Bachelor's, and a lot of life experiences between my first run at college and my nursing school run.

Ha I was reading the Post Partum section in my OB book the other day and it said that while caring for the patient, the nurse should "mother the mother", and it was just like, oh, I see how it is haha

The struggle for us men is real

dudette10, MSN, RN · Oct 29, 2014

Most schools have an academic support center that helps students develop study skills. Use it.

Some schools have open lab where they can go to get extra time in the sim lab. If your school has it, use it.

In other words, make use of every resource your tuition is paying for. Good luck!

StudentN123 · Nov 18, 2014

Thanks for everyone that replied! :) Unfortunately, I didn't do so good on my last exam(low C), so my chances of passing the course are slim. I would have to get a high B on the next exam and a on the final. When I came back home I was agitated, feeling depressed, and looking at other options. I felt as if I simply wasn't as "smart" enough to be a nurse; as I had studied so much for this past exam. If I do end up failing this semester in the next three weeks, I would have to take a year off, and reapply to other nursing programs. I realized that I have invested so much time, money, and effort in nursing that I wouldn't know if I would have the courage to switch majors and completely start new. I am probably thinking of working as a CNA in the meantime during my waiting time, pursuing my hobbies, and maybe even getting some volunteer hours(as they look great on a resume.). Hopefully, another ADN program or LVN program can take me in my near area.

love.live.laugh · Nov 18, 2014

Thanks for everyone that replied! :) Unfortunately, I didn't do so good on my last exam(low C), so my chances of passing the course are slim. I would have to get a high B on the next exam and a on the final. When I came back home I was agitated, feeling depressed, and looking at other options. I felt as if I simply wasn't as "smart" enough to be a nurse; as I had studied so much for this past exam. If I do end up failing this semester in the next three weeks, I would have to take a year off, and reapply to other nursing programs. I realized that I have invested so much time, money, and effort in nursing that I wouldn't know if I would have the courage to switch majors and completely start new. I am probably thinking of working as a CNA in the meantime during my waiting time, pursuing my hobbies, and maybe even getting some volunteer hours(as they look great on a resume.). Hopefully, another ADN program or LVN program can take me in my near area.

I am in the same exact situation as you right now but even worse is that I completely up and moved into a nearby city and I am receiving some financial support from my parents so it is not only my time and money being wasted but my parent's as well and I haven't told them yet. I am beyond terrified of their reaction, I know that they will be extremely upset and overall disappointed. I feel incredibly disappointed in myself and as you mentioned, I feel like I'm not smart enough to be a nurse although I do really want to be a nurse but changing career paths at this point doesn't seem ideal. I know a lot of people in school dream of having financial support from their parents but honestly if my parents were not in the equation it would make things less stressful. I am also looking into several different options and whatever I choose to do, somehow get into another bsn program or do an adn program, I won't be able to until next fall. It pushes everything back for me but I really want to try and focus on figuring out what my issue is and why I am struggling so much with studying and focusing maybe even talk to someone that can help me with this, re-evaluate myself and really decide if this is what I want to truly do, and possibly get some experience through volunteering and CNA as you mentioned and also look into moving back home. It's not the best situation to be in but I'm trying to find the positives, but good luck to you and I hope everything does work itself out.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Nov 18, 2014

You take no notes whatsoever? How on earth do you even know what to study? Trying to read the chapters and retain all of that info is crazy. I'm going to say that is 95% of your problem. You need to listen to the instructor in class and highlight and note what is important. Anything an instructor says or repeats is probably going to be on a test. Do your instructors do power points? Do you maybe record the lectures? There are so many things you should be doing besides wasting your time trying to take notes from a book. I don't know about your class but we may go over 10-15 chapters in a week. That is so much info. You need to use your time effectively.

caliotter3 · Nov 18, 2014

When you are assessing yourself, please also take a look at your personal health. Maybe you need to make small changes in your health habits to give yourself a better chance. I found that my energy levels improved significantly just by addressing a vitamin deficiency that I was not aware of. And keep in mind that you can most likely achieve a lot more academically with a rested mind and body, than you could with a mind and body exhausted from 'all nighters' every other day. Good luck.

caliotter3 · Nov 18, 2014

Especially if you are not taking notes, you need to be recording your lectures. The information for the exams is most likely coming from the lectures, or at least hints, unless the instructor specifically states to "study the book", "my lectures are for entertainment purposes only". By now, you should be aware of the parameters in your course.