What to do?(LONG)

morgorm · Sep 24, 2007

Welcome to Real World nursing ! Being a good nurse (esp with the patients) will not help you keep your job. You have bruised the tender egos of the people who were there when you arrived. This has nothing to do about your abilities as a nurse and everything to do about personalities.

You have some catch up 'smoozing' to do. Start asking them for their advice on stuff you already know, be humble and grateful for any info given (acting will sometimes be necessary....). Keep your mouth shut and your ears open and make sure you praise what they do and how they do it when you can do so while sounding like you mean it. Ask them how they are doing, how their families are doing....remember their kids and husbands names. Keep low and go slow......I'm sure you get the picture.

Being a 'cracker jack' at your job is NOT a good way to keep it if you can't play it down... I can assure you. Emotional IQ needs to be cultivated and is a learned behavior for a lot of us. Good Luck !

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Sep 24, 2007

morgorm is right. yes ask questions, ask them how their families are, if they need help w/ anything. kill them w/ kindness. i have been to bad units and always said good morning to everyone and brought donuts and just was always available to help. yes and sound like you mean it. ask questions about work problems and pt , . i always help w/ pt care if they help me, i say thank you !! not that you are not polite allready, but this business is stressful and people are pushed to their limit , so you treat your coworkers is well as your patients. thats how you play the game. most of when you do all this be sincere. good luck and keep me updated.. you'll be fine..

deeDawntee, RN · Sep 24, 2007

I am sooo sorry to hear this is happening to you. Crap like that in nursing makes me want to screeeaaaaammmm!! It irritates me so much. I am not sure I will give you the best advice, because there is only so much brown-nosing I can put up with in my own career.

There are some "truths" here: people are hired and fired based on personality more than any other attribute in the workplace. It doesn't matter really how good you are, they want to know that you will be a good fit with the rest of your coworkers. That being said, there is only one coworker with whom you have a problem, correct? Unfortunately, she has all the power in this situation. (really sucks, I know).

If you think you can stomach it, I would do what I needed to do to get through this. If you do apologize, say something like, I am sorry that you felt mad or hurt or whatever....you are acknowledging her feelings but aren't taking the whole responsibility. There is ALWAYS responsibility on both sides in ANY conflict. She may or may not apologize for her part, but if she is at all mature in her own interpersonal skills, she will apologize as well. How she handles your apology will tell you a lot about her. Then I would stay away as much as possible. Are you done with your preceptorship? God, I hope so. If you did leave now, I think it would make you look weak.

Good luck to you! I have had issues with coworkers myself in my career and it makes things miserable at times. I do promise you one thing, that you aren't the only person who has a had a problem with this person...issues like this are never isolated experiences. See if you can be the bigger person here, press through this and I promise you will start to hear of others who have had similar problems with her.

RN1989 · Sep 24, 2007

The others have given some good advice. It is going to be very difficult to try to suck up to these people, especially when they are the ones that are the problem. Do your best if you want to stay. You must start a documentation journal NOW. Write down everything that has happened, to the best of your memory, since you started this job. Try to be as specific as you can and include names, dates, etc. Hurry and catchup with today's date and from here on out you need to document every day at work. Even if something seems insignificant you need to write it down so that it will help give an idea of what the day was like. Be sure to put dates, times, names of people.

Example: We were short 2 nurses and an aide today. I had 6 patients assigned to me. The preceptor wanted me to do full patient care while she watched my work and critiqued my charting. I felt overwhelmed and that I was unable to give the best care to my patients today because I was unable to provide the education that the patients needed while trying to get all the assigned tasks completed.

Even if nothing specific happened it will give an idea of what is happening at you job, how you felt about it, how you handled it, any interactions you had with staff. Keeping a work log is timeconsuming but it can save your buns. Also document any interactions with staff/manager etc. Make sure to write down any comments that your patients make - which one said it, etc. Keep any and all written communication, emails, copies of evals, etc. If needed, use email to communicate with others in addition to speaking with them so that you have a paper trail.

Chances are you will not be allowed to transfer to a different unit. It usually requires an open position, as well as the approval of another manager and your current manager agreeing to the transfer. But this does not mean that you should not ask. However it would be better to ask your manager if that is an option first - chain of command and all.

Sad to say, but with what you have written it sounds like you have been marked. Generally when these types of things happens, you have made the other staff feel threatened because you are very smart and catch on quickly, you portray confidence that they percieve as arrogance, and when patients routinely praise you the staff feel even worse. Especially since you must have irritated someone because you have expressed unhappiness with the staffing. Being a newbie at your age, you have a level of credibility someone in their early 20s does not. So your displeasure with staffing probably rankles them even more. They likely have misconstrued your concerns over safety, as well as concerns over your own performance, as complaints against the way that they do things. This one woman is likely taking out her feelings of inadequacy on you.

That it took 2 weeks for you to speak to your manager does not bode well. You need to deal with things like this immediately to avoid a festering wound. I don't know that I would say "I'm sorry" but saying "I apologize" can help smooth ruffled feathers while you will not be lying since it sounds like you have nothing to be sorry about. And it seems you really don't even know what to apologize for. But, it can't hurt.

If you truly feel that your job is in jeopardy, I would contact HR. Let them know that you feel that your job is being threatened without good reason. Have your documentation ready (good evals, cards from patients, etc). In some places HR will truly be fair and help you. In others - they'll help you pack up your locker. You won't know until you talk to them. But I guarantee you, the preceptors have been told to document on you. The manager is documenting and starting a paper trail so that if they decide you don't fit in, they can fire you and try to keep you from obtaining unemployment or suing them.

So - be nice and fake it if you have to . But be prepared because they will be. I am so sorry that you have found out so quickly how bad it can be to be a nurse. When I started nursing things were not this bad. As the years have gone by I have witnessed more and more of these types of incidents. It is unfortunate because it is usually some of the best and brightest nurses that are made to be targets. Best of luck as you deal with this situation. Prayers that you will have the courage to face these people with dignity, humility, and kindness even as you struggle to decide what direction you need to go.

RN mom of 2 · Sep 24, 2007

UGH!!!! This stuff makes me want to scream, too!! I'm sorry you have to deal with stuff that should have been abandoned in junior high school. It's like why can't you just go to work, take care of your patients and earn your freaking paycheck?? There always has to be drama! I'm not saying people shouldn't be professional to one another, but you can only do so much @ss kissing... you know what I mean. I'm actually good at being really friendly and making friends, but I just think it comes naturally to some people. It's not fair to the other people who are just trying to do the best they can.

Hang in there! :)

dekatn · Sep 24, 2007

I don't mean to sound harsh or rude so please don't slam me for this, but, I am reading between the lines a bit here.

You stated that it was said that you can't take criticism, when in fact you are frustrated by being short staffed that you can't do for your pt. all that you would like.

Could it be that you are spending so much time with one pt. that you don't get everything done for the others and maybe some of the other nurses are having to pick up? You probably could benefit from additional organizational skills and you will get these, it takes time. I would continue to ask and observe how other nurses handle their pt. load.

Also, if it took you two weeks to get back to your manager,could it possibly be a communication problem with both sides? Ask questions, like the others said, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and some of these things you may already know, but you will benefit from asking questions and advice from seasoned nurses.

I wouldn't change units, you are already familiar with the basics of how this unit works, hang in there and learn all you can, you'll get it, just give it time and be patient. It's hard being the new kid on the block, but all of were there at one time or another. Good luck to you and I wish you the best in your career. Keep us posted on how things are going.

MzMouse · Sep 24, 2007

I feel bad for what is going on with you. A skilled nurse who takes great care of patients is valuable, and it doesn't sound like you are being treated that way.

If it were me, I would be seriously looking into a transfer. Sometimes people just aren't a good fit with a certain unit.

Best wishes.

firstyearstudent · Sep 24, 2007

It's hard to know what is going on, since I'm not closely involved in your situation, but I'm on orientation now and I have very little time to spend with the patients. I'm so focused on learning time management and how to do basic things fast (like hanging an IV bag, charting, and changing a dressing) that I have very little time to attend to my patients' emotional or psychosocial needs. If I can pass all my meds, do my assessments, do all my procedures, chart everything and leave only a 1/2 hour late my preceptor is happy (although my patients are not). My preceptor told me that this is where I should be focusing now. As I gain speed and confidence I will find the time to provide more support to my patients and can focus on psychosocial issues and teaching. I can't imagine that any of my patients would write a note praising me now but I don't see that as a bad thing...

VegRN · Sep 25, 2007

Hi. I have a dilema I need some help with. I am a new RN and have been working in acute care for 2 months. At first, I thought everything was going well since I was doing everything for my orientation requirements and my patients LOVED me. I am not bragging, but at least once per shift, a patient would say I was the most caring nurse they had. I had patients writing nice notes about me, but I would never see them again. Turns out, my preceptor went to my managers and said I was hard to deal with and trying to pass my responsibilities onto others without ever talking to me about the situation which was a big communication issue. I was so stunned I couldn't speak to defend myself. It took me 2 weeks to go talk to my Manager to try to clear the air. She said she had no negative opinions of me and no one else had said anything bad about me including 3 other nurses who precepted me. So they change my preceptor and I again think things are better when I have a meeting last week and they say that I can't handle criticism, but in really, I am frustrated because we are so short staffed and I feel like I am neglecting my patients. So they say they are going to watch me and I have to prove to them I can do it or they are not going to prolong my employment. I asked in the meeting for tips on organization and they said that is what my preceptor is for and she can't give me any either. This is all after receiving an eval prior to the meeting saying I was on target. How can I be on target and have them thinking they are going to fire me?!! I am thinking about going to HR and seeing if I can be transferred to another unit. They are also saying I need to go to by old preceptor and apologize even though she is the one who was unprofessional by not coming to me and she also was mad at ME for other nurses her how I was doing!!!! Should I go to HR and try to get them to switch me to another area? I WILL NOT be fired from this job. I am 32 and have held 3 jobs my entire life with excellent reviews. Please help. Thanks!

Ok, here is a little constructive criticism so, don't flame me.

1) oftentimes the nurse that the pt loves may not have anything to do with how good of nursing care they are providing. So, you may be caring and a good listener but are you lacking in other areas such as organization etc. I have seen this to be the case with a few nurses that I have worked with. They focus so much on talking and listening to pts that they can't get other needed things done such as starting that new IV, checking off orders, giving meds etc. Then they push it off to the next shift or struggle to get things done. Don't get me wrong being caring is good and part of being a nurse but this must be balanced with other activities.

2) It seems like you can't take criticism from the content of your post. Yes, the people on your unit seem like they could use some improvement on their communication too but there are some things that you can change as well. Take constructive criticism and don't take it personally. You may not agree with it but smile and say something like "Thank you for the feedback".

Here is what you should do next: Request a meeting with as many of the people involved in this as you can. This should include your manager and at least your current preceptor. If they are unwilling, go to your managers manager and voice your concerns. You are going to have to do some leg work in this department. And make sure you understand what they are saying. Say it back to them and write it down if needed during the meeting. Hell, get it in writing if you can.

I would go to your old preceptor and apologize too. If anything it will be helpful for keeping your job. As I said, from your post it seems that you may have an issue with taking criticism and perhaps your preceptor was afraid to approach you. In addition maybe your preceptor doesn't like conflict either. Anyway, go to your preceptor and say something like" I am sorry that it seemed that I didn't take feedback well. I really value your opinion and I would like to hear your opinion of how I can do my job better. I would really appreciate it" And then do not argue with her feedback. Simply say "thank you for your feedback". Doesn't matter whether you agree or disagree or what. Just acknowledge it.

You may very well be short staffed but when push comes to shove, you took a job there. Did you ask about staffing levels when you applied? Also, to a new grad you may now think you can't get anything done because you are still in the process of learning your job but in a year, you may feel like you have enough time. Bottom line is that as a new grad you have a lot to learn. And you will really never stop learning however what you pick up during that first year on the job is going to be huge.

I would not go to HR or ask to be transferred to another unit just yet. I would get assertive and confront people politely and ask what you can do to do a better job. Also remember that you can only change yourself. Maybe those other people can improve too but just worry about yourself right now.

Good luck to you. And again, don't flame me. I mean well and tried to provide some constructive feedback for you. I sincerely hope that things improve for you.

Take Care