What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

[yazisizit]

I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.

We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.

So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!

I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.

As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...

My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.

Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.

As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)

And of course, now so did I!

[dspring, RN]

unfortunatly she wasn't cause you guessed it I would have said what the heck did you do that for. Pity the poor Doc that had to dig it out.

[ziggyRn]

My worst story...guy with sepsis in critical care ?cause

...dead gerbil in rectum

My sister is in ER...prostitute comes in one night after shift in massage parlour and requests that someone remove the thing that she uses for 'cleanliness' because she can't manage to pull it out herself...............yuk.

Pity the poor doc that had to do it....eek :eek:

[dspring, RN]

working ER has it's advantages. Look at all the stories we can tell. I just have trouble keeping a straight face sometimes.

[ayemmeff]

Quote

Originally posted by ShandyLynnRN

found rice wrapped in tissues stuffed up her lady parts????

Was she with it enough to say WHY??? I can't even think of a remotely good reason for that!!! EWWW!!!

Maybe she was saving it for an attack of the munchies later on!

[takararose, RN]

i had a young male patient who apparently was bored one night and decided to see what would happen if he put a pencil into his member....hmmmm.....read a book, turn on the tv, hell take a sleeper, but pencil, member, i think not!!!

[ShandyLynnRN, BSN, RN]

ROTFL!!!! Oh DEAR!!!! Pencil in his member!! Geez! So what DID happen when he did that??? Did you have to remove it? DId he scream bloddy murder??

[MishlB]

Quote

Originally posted by caroladybelle

So when, on late night TV, do we see the ad:

"Do you have a fat unsightly scrotum"

"Do nurses have trouble lifting it out of the way"

And then, the advertisement for scrotum shrinker.

"Next, on the Jerry Springer show, Men with large scrotums and prostitutes that love them"

? ?

[ChristenLPN, LPN]

I have tears of laughter about the late night TV show on large, unmanageable scrotums and the spanking clean, freshly powdered prolapsed uterus!!!!!!!!!. :roll

It embarrasses me deeply to tell you battle-scarred veterans that two shifts ago on a rehab floor, I did vomit because of a pt. She had been admitted from another floor, and the nurse giving report must have just not noticed the dried blood smeared on her face, gown, and fingers. One finger was completely necrosed on the tip, so our first thought was that she had tried to pull that off, but it was intact. Then we looked in her mouth and saw where she had bitten a small chunk of tissue loose and it was still bleeding slightly. She swished and spat a few times but there still seemed to be another source of blood. Upon lifting her upper lip, we found a thick rope of clotted blood all along her upper gumline. This was not pretty, but when my priceless tech bravely put his hand in her mouth to try to remove her dentures, it got so much worse. The blood kept slipping down on the dentures and he couldn't get them out. So he reached further back in her mouth and with every try she would belch and gag and heave, which produced more blood clots that she had previously swallowed.

I have a strict policy that no one vomits alone in my presence, but at least I made it down the hall and away from the pt. My hero tech finally got the things off with a pair of hemostats, and danged if that lady didn't ask to have them back in!!!.

I truly cannot handle things from people's mouths, and we found out later that her dentures had not been removed since she was admitted on Jan. 1.

YUCKYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

I will finish my RN in 10 months, and I will not stop, pass GO, or collect $200 on my way to OB.

[TNcanNURSE]

Hey Yazisizit. We could start a club. The only requirement for membership would be having you skin and scrubs covered with aromatic poop!

I had a pt. that loved nothing more than to climb out of her bed so she could walk home. She would get OOB & hold onto her bureau. The problem was she couldn't walk and would proceed to bust her tail.

One night I was making rounds and saw her hunkered over the bureau. I rushed in and and started picking her up in a bear hug at the same instant the she began to fall. The good news was that I got her safely to bed. The bad was that my bear hug loosend her colostomy bag and I squirted liquid crap all over myself and my uniform.

She thanked me for helping her as I was trying to conceal my gags.

Gee, all of the fond memories I have acquired in this profession!

[TNcanNURSE]

This one is for the tales of urinals.

Had a confused elderly gent. He had a water pitcher that would get filled with ice qshift. Notice one night that his water had been replaced with iced lemonade which he drank from as desired. Later noted pt to urinate into iced lemonade. I'm no rocket scientist but something told me there was something fishy going on with the cool refreshing lemonade. Nevertheless said lemonade was confiscated and he drank lemonade no more.

[RNFROG3, BSN, RN]

When I was in the army and still pretty naive -18 yr/o new as an EMT we went out on a run that was at the far end of our sector. Turned out to be a German National that we aren't supposed to p/u. he was complaining of CP and told my German driver he was locked out away from his medicine. I'm thinking Nitro right? So we loaded him and headed to the nearest German hospital a good 20 minutes away. My ambulance chose that moment tohave a short in the wiring for the lights- I'm now in the back with this ol geezer, who is SOB and having CP. I hear him gasping for air then nothing....nothing for what seemed like forever. SOOO i find his face put my mouth over his to give two breathes and he sticks his reeking nasty old alcoholic tongue in my mouth and I was so shocked I couldn't move.... that is until I started puking. The MD at the hospital said he always pulls that on young cute nurses.

But that earwax thing almost made me lose it here at the desk GROSSS!! These are thetype of things that keep me from watching Fear Factor. I hate bugs and loogies and chunks of vomit. Yet oddly I still love this job. RN now and loving it.

[Serani, BSN, RN]

Working in a surg ward caring for a Chinese lady who spoke no English (was visiting relatives in Aus). Very sweet little lady - lovely relatives...brought us nurses in wonderful food which we gratefully scoffed into (as only nurses can do!)....

Emptying her colostomy bag and notice something strange -liquid faeces...tip it into a jug and see a 4 inch round work squirming about - ALIVE -

Needless to say - we did not eat any more of those food gifts!

Don't think I ever washed my hands so much that day.