What happens when cancer takes you??

[Curious1alwys]

Can anyone tell me?

When cancer cannot be treated....all treatments have failed.....what happens at the end of life with widespread CA? What is the general process, specifically with a lung tumor left to get larger and larger?

I want to know what to expect in the last few weeks of life?

When do you start arranging hospice?

Thanks!

[leslie :-D]

Can you help me with things I can do/say that will convey how much I care for him? I tell him all the time I love him, but it feels more routine. I'd like to do something really special. Any ideas??

i don't think words are as important as presence and actions are.

i would get hospice involved- does he seem comfortable? don't worry about what he takes for meds-if he's an addict, it's kind of a moot point now.

but for you personally, i think you being there on a continual basis says it all.

leslie

[tencat]

Be honest. Time is ticking by, and once they're gone, you can't go back and say some of the things you wish you'd said. I have a horrid relationship with my father, and I think that if he is ever that ill, I'll have so many horrible feelings inside. My dad has 'undiagnosed' mental illness (paranoid, narcissistic old.... ), so I kind of understand where you're coming from. I guess all I can say is do what you have to do to find peace with the relationship and realize that it takes two people to make a bad relationship.

[leslie :-D]

you can always ask him if there's anything he'd like to talk about....

[Curious1alwys, BSN, RN]

You know what?? I am really breaking up about it inside, this is killing me. :crying2: And I honestly know that if I started to talk about how I really feel I will cry and cry and cry.....He is still struggling through difficult chemo and horrible nausea and I just don't want to overbear him. Most the time I just want to grab onto him like a five year old would and tell him not to go. But I know that is not an option. I have never dealt directly with death before other than my beloved cat, but I know that is totally different.

I wish I could have gotten out of school this semester. I tried, but they said if I dropped now I would have to start all over (I am Block 2). My teacher said that after a while I could take "incomplete" for the classes, but of course that would not be ideal. She was very sympathetic to my situation, but could change the rules nonetheless. Now I wish I could just run away from it all and spend every frustrating minute with him. I feel so conflicted. I want to spend my time with my Dad but I also want to finish school. I worry about tests and I worry about him, but my ability to concentrate is going down the tubes.

Teacher told me to try to finish Block 2, then I could "exit" the program as easy as a hot knife thru butter and come back Block 3, whenever. It is just going to be so hard. I have lost my motivation.

Thank you for your help. You all have helped a great deal.

[Curious1alwys, BSN, RN]

And yes, I know that his dependence on pain meds and prior addiction is a "moot point". I am realizing that now. It is just so hard to keep those old angry tapes from playing, you know?