What happened to me?

Sounds like you made the right move, if you are not well how can you expect to heal the wounded

Im going through the same thing you went through. Ive also thought about leaving nursing but dont know what else i could do. Nursing is very stressful and sometimes I dont think I am cut out for it. I constantly am crying, depressed even thinking about going back to work, im constantly in fear im going to mess up and there goes my liscense. Ive only been going at it for 2 months and dont know how much longer I can do this.

I dont want to waste my liscense because I worked very hard for it. But i dont think im cut out for bedside nursing thats for sure. But I dont know what else i could do without experience.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time too. I know people say that it will get better but I don't think I could have survived the wait.

It wasn't just normal feelings of being overwhelmed or too busy....it was panic. I was good with pts and families- talking, helping with problems, etc. I always got the hard ones too, the ones no one else wanted. they became my best pts! Really, i felt like i did a good job with the people part-the psycho/social. it was just the medical part that made me freak out.

A lightbulb went off when I got 7 pts and 2 students. I had been on my own for 2 weeks and expected to have students- the other 2 nurses refused to take them. I was surprised that working with the students was my favorite part of the day :)

Since i left that job, i've done a lot of self assessment and thinking about my skills, my challenges, and what exactly caused the panic/fear....I'm looking at areas that are more focused on education, health promotion, or counseling. I have a friend in public health that works with smoking cessation, std prevention, etc. She does seminars and develops materials. I would like that. SO, I'm exploring different options like that- I might have to go back to school, but that's okay.

I'm sorry that you're going thru this Is there anyone you can talk to at work like a counselor? or the educator? I tried to get help but just kept hearing "it'll get better" "you're doing fine". I was not fine and getting more depressed-no one wanted to listen. I hope you can find someone to listen and give you support.

my heart goes out to you!

Thanks. yes I did see my dr. Checked out normal- well, physically normal :) He attributed it to stress. I'm now back to my normal weight, no GI problems, and my hair is growing!

When I look back- I'm shocked at my condition and my inability to cope.

Well, glad to be healthy now and looking to the future :)

It"s a great shame really because caring, conscientious people like the OP make the best nurses possible.

I've been a ward Sister many years and have seen this many times in both student nurses and the newly-qualified. One new grad used to literally go grey and faint on us when she felt overwhelmed but in time with lots of encouragement is now a Team Leader and one of the best nurses on my staff.

It is true that not all can do acute nursing. If it dosen't suit then good call. Best of luck!

Have you thought about psych nursing? I was a nurse in an inhouse rehabilitation for eating disorders for 2 years and I loved it! There were a few medical issues of course that went along with the disorders of course, but since I worked nights I mostly dealt with nightmares, flashbacks, and PTSD. It was interesting, because you never knew what to expect, but it was also rewarding because you got to know these people and were able to see the changes they made and the goals/accomplishments they achieved. If you know your medications for your pill pass, then you're usually golden, because a lot of the patients ill be on the same types of medications. And though there are medical issues to also address, they usually are not life threatening. Of course this is all my experience with the eating disorder center. There are many mental health arenas to look into. in-patient and out-patient, residential and hospitals. Not all psych patients are having acute episodes, if you're worried about that too. Don't give up. There is a nitche for you!

Gosh...I feel so much better! thanks for all the support and suggestions. I knew you guys would understand! my non-nurse friends and family don't get it.

hey- thanks, maybe psych would be a good option...I'm exploring many avenues.

Yes- research involving nursing students and new nurses would be interesting. Because- even though I was top of the class and good at clinicals...something changed between graduation and the real job. Not sure.

Again- I sincerely appreciate everyone's support. It was a hard decision to leave. I felt like a quitter and a loser. BUT then I realized that it's not for everyone and there will be a niche for me.

Gosh...I feel so much better! thanks for all the support and suggestions. I knew you guys would understand! my non-nurse friends and family don't get it.

hey- thanks, maybe psych would be a good option...I'm exploring many avenues.

Yes- research involving nursing students and new nurses would be interesting. Because- even though I was top of the class and good at clinicals...something changed between graduation and the real job. Not sure.

Again- I sincerely appreciate everyone's support. It was a hard decision to leave. I felt like a quitter and a loser. BUT then I realized that it's not for everyone and there will be a niche for me.

Sometimes that "change" is the realization that there's no safety-net for you. An acquaintance who is a CFRN used to dread doing intubations. She'd been through orientation and everything... still just absolutely dreaded having to do it. I mean it was ABSOLUTELY stressful for her. One day, she realized that she was thinking "if only *** was here...." and she came to an epiphany - It was her or nobody else. She learned that for good, bad, or ugly, she had to do it. Now she's VERY good at airway management, but she had to work through the fear and stress of not being able to do it.

The point is that the perceived lack of support and "safety-net" that you had during school can be very stressful at first. You're not perfect, I certainly am not... And it's perfectly OK to feel like hospital/bedside work isn't for you. There's LOTS to do in Nursing, and I'm sure you can find a place that's comfortable for you.