What is the dumbest order you ever read?

EmmaG, RN · Nov 3, 2007

"wash pts feet"-
he was 300+ lbs and was a "preacher" of his own little religion made up by his own little mind which allowed him to have 15 wifes who dressed in nun's outfits who supported him by doing roofing work - and yes in the nun's uniforms. I SWEAR to you that this is TRUE.
every time we walked in the room shouted "Wash my feet"

I'm sorry, but this is hilarious :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

nursemike, ASN, RN · Nov 3, 2007

"wash pts feet"-
he was 300+ lbs and was a "preacher" of his own little religion made up by his own little mind which allowed him to have 15 wifes who dressed in nun's outfits who supported him by doing roofing work - and yes in the nun's uniforms. I SWEAR to you that this is TRUE. The man broke our leather restraints, had a string tied to his waist with an "attachment" - you just get to guess where! - which allowed him to "whip it out" to urinate. He had upwards of 30 children. He treated every female nurse with contempt and every time we walked in the room shouted "Wash my feet", he DID NOT ask this of our two lone male nurses - and we all refused his "polite" request - so the MALE doctor WROTE an order and we were forced under duress to MAKE the male nurse do it! ha!

I suppose it isn't very nurse-like, but I can't help hoping he got some really clean feet. (Where's that scrub-brush smiley when you need it?)

EmmaG, RN · Nov 3, 2007

(Where's that scrub-brush smiley when you need it?)

:lol2:

RainDreamer, BSN, RN · Nov 3, 2007

You guys crack me up!!

:rotfl:

buggal1989 · Nov 3, 2007

I'm sorry, but this is hilarious :lol2:

We had fun for, oh I say, years - until too many people rotated out of ICU and there were to few of us to remember! Did I mention he was in for HTN?????? I mean like BIG TIME! I'd mention drugs - but most of y'all would scratch your heads (then the ICP would come out in me and I'd do a lice check) and look bemused! :lol2:

yeSICU · Nov 3, 2007

A consult for erectile disfunction on a pt that met brain death criteria, written right below a Gift of life referral order. (I am sure it was written inadvertently in the wrong chart... I hope)

angel_prias · Nov 4, 2007

Same cardiologist (different patients):
Baked potato P.O. QD with evening meal
Milkshake P.O. q.h.s. - nursing to prepare (YEAH, RIGHT!)
Pepsi 1 can P.O. QID with meals
(He's not a very good cardiologist but he makes an excellent food director.)
Fluid resuscitation orders in a patient who had lost peripheral iv access and whose BP was rapidly dropping (who BADLY needed a central line): 500 cc H2O via NG stat. Oh yeah baby that's gonna fix him. GET HIM A CENTRAL LINE, STUPID. (resident's order).

:lol2: Wahahahah!!!

TrudyRN · Nov 4, 2007

I live in Amish and Mennonite country, so I see this a lot. We've only had Mennonites come in for high risk pregnancy, never the Amish. I love how they will speak English to you and as soon as you turn to walk out, the Pennsylvania Dutch comes out. Makes you wonder what the heck they're saying. They are very private people. All the husbands I have dealt with left during checks and during the birth. Haven't seen a lot of support.
Kristy

Different strokes for different folks, Kristy. Not all cultures have the fathers at the births. Birthing is a woman thing.

itvln02 · Nov 4, 2007

Place fan in pt's room. (Just ask me for crying out loud!!)
This order may not be so silly...I worked in a hospital at which an order was required for fans to be placed in patient rooms...
perhaps this person had come from a hospital such as this...

TrudyRN · Nov 4, 2007

Inderal 20 mg IV now and q8h--and the pharmacy sent it!--20 1 mg amps!--so I talked with them, too, since I had a bunch of new graduates on the night shift then; most would ask, some not sure about.
On a patient in complete heart block with some PVC's, HR in the 20's and 30's: Lidocaine 100 mg IV bolus, then 4/mg/min drip.
Morphine 100 mg IVP now.
Then it seems like everyone's called a tired resident for a patient with chest pain and got orders to insert a foley.
Champagne slurry 20cc q4h NGT--clamp for 1h after giving. Order was supposed to be Carafate slurry, but the patient got champagne all night long with no c/o anything all night! (Nope, I wasn't the nurse!)

Uh, who obtained the champagne???:lol2:

TrudyRN · Nov 4, 2007

Vital signs q hour until 8am on a dead patient when the doc was angry for being woke up at 2am to tell him his patient had died.

I don't blame him. I have never understood why we have to call in the middle of the night to tell a doctor his patient died - when it was an expected death. What is he supposed to do about it?

Why not hold that call until about 5:30, at least?

Oh, and don't forget - taking VS on a presumed corpse just might yield some sign of life still there! It's been known to happen. :o Creepy, I know.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Nov 4, 2007

vital signs q hour until 8am on a dead patient when the doc was angry for being woke up at 2am to tell him his patient had died.

i had an order for q 1 hour arterial blood gases on a dnar patient. she had an intraaortic balloon pump, but her radial art line had fallen out days ago. since our policy forbade using the aortic line on the iabp for blood draws, that meant we had to stick her for abgs. since the lady was a "no code" and still somewhat awake, none of us wanted to stick her for blood gases. so when i arrived on shift at 3pm, i called to clarify those orders.

"yes i do want q 1 hour blood gases on mrs. dnar," the resident screamed at me.

so i stuck her at 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 pm. by then her radials were getting harder and harder to find, and the blood gases were getting a bit further and further apart as we struggled to get them. the resident came by at 10 and wanted to know why we hadn't gotten a 9 pm blood gas, and when i tried to explain that they were getting harder and harder to find, he wrote an order that said "yes i do (underlined "do" four or five times) want the q 1 hour blood gases just like i ordered at 0700 and again at 1200 and 1500"

so we figured that if he wanted q 1 hour blood gases, he must want to know the results. we paged him q 1 hour to tell him.

the night charge called in sick and there wasn't anyone to do charge on the night shift, so i stayed over to do it. the night nurse absolutely could not get the blood gases by sticking the patient, so we drew midnight labs off the aortic line.

the patient died around 1am. she was a dnar, so we didn't attempt to code her. she had a permanent pacer, a balloon pump and a ventilator. a balloon pump on a dead patient will give you a pulsitile pressure of about 42/20 . . . do you see where this is going?

so i paged the resident again to tell him that no one could get blood gases, and did he want to d/c the order. (i'm a little evil, aren't i?) after he screamed at me for a full two minutes, i sweetly said, "yes doctor, but if you want those gases, you'll have to come and do a femoral stick."

so the resident stomped out of the on call room, slamming the door after him, stomped into the icu and grabbed a blood gas kit. then he stomped into the patient's room and closed the door while the entire nursing staff clustered around, waiting to see what would happen next. nothing did. he was in there for about half an hour and i was sure he'd fallen asleep in there. then the door slammed open and the resident stomped back out of the room, flung the dirty (glass) blood gas syringe against the wall and screamed "ok, you bitches! you can d/c the blood gases. you won!"

"thank you, doctor," i said in my most calm and professional manner. "now do you mind pronouncing the patient?"

he'd been in the room for 30 minutes, trying to draw blood gases on a dead patient! then despite his humiliation, he had to stay and pronounce her, call the family and the attending and do the death paperwork! he was much better behaved from then on!