Was told I don't make a difference in the lives of Alz pts....

[NurseBunny13]

Hi everyone!

I'm am a newly licensed nurse and have worked as an aide (4 years in home care setting both privately and for agencies) for several years prior in the geriatric community primarily with Alzheimer's patients. I have always been able to work well with the people in this community and feel that I have been able to communicate, and keep my patients safe,calm and happy to the best of my ability. I have very rarely had any become combative and have had many recognize me by face and tell me I am their favorite( I am aware that it is probably just because that they are momentarily able to recognize a face). Obviously these are the ones that are in the earlier stages. Prior to becoming a nurse, I was usually scheduled with the most "difficult" Alzheimer's pts because I was told that I was the only one that could "Handle them". I really enjoy working with this community and have always felt I truly was making a difference. Family members have requested that I be the only caregiver of their loved one because "Mom/Dad/Wife/HUsband etc. only likes her". Anyway, I have been hired as a nurse at a LTC facility and am currently on orientation with several other nurses, including a Nursing Sup. We were discussing Alzheimer's pts today and I said something about "I really feel like I make a difference." She told me that I don't to which I replied well I believe that I do!I participate every year in The Alzheimer's Association's fundraising walks, and have been very involved in the lives of close family friends suffering with Alzehimer's. As a new nurse I don't want to become discouraged about the care I give to the people suffering with this horrible disease. I definitely did not take what she said personally, because she doesn't know me and she most likely does not know any of the people I know. But I feel offended for them. I can't understand how a nurse could tell another nurse flat out that she doesn't make a difference! Has anyone else ever been told this? Is this normal or common? Anyone else think its inappropriate for a NS to say things like this?

[GHGoonette, BSN, RN]

What a horrible thing Alzheimer's is! To take the mind of a thinking human being and utterly destroy it is a fiendishly cruel reward for so many elderly people! They have forgotten their families, what it was to love and be loved, and have only dim memories of a long-gone life remaining to them. The future no longer exists for them; therefore there is nothing to look forward to, nothing to get excited about.

No use telling them that their children or grandchildren are coming to visit....they don't know them from a bar of soap, and will probably only be frightened by all the "strangers" around them. The world we take for granted is about as familiar to them as an alien planet would be to us.

And it's incurable. From that point of view, she's right. No-one can make a difference in their condition.

All they have left is the now, the present; and if, with your care and compassion, you can make that present a little brighter and more enjoyable for them, if they can feel that love just for the moment, then you have made a difference. You have brought a smile to the face of someone who desperately needs it.

Your Supervisor is wrong; you are there to make a difference. Not to find the silver bullet - that is in the hands of the researchers - but to give these elderly people the care and consideration which they should have the right to expect.

[lawandaluxnurse, ADN, BSN]

Your supervisor is wrong. Don't ever think you don't make a difference with your patients. Those with alzheimers and those without it. I am an RN and took care of my mom for 7 years while also working with same type of patients. Yes there are times you get down and we all know this disease is hard on family as well as staff but it is the hardest for the patient. There were difficult days of course and many times I would just want to cry but I took pride in the fact that mom was comfortable and clean and content. I believe on some level you reach them. We may not always see it but giving good care makes a difference. There was a time when my mom forgot I was her daughter and of course this was hard and I had to remember it is the disease. One day 2 years later. Mom blurted out my name and again remembered I was her daughter. IT made me cry. Yes you have to meet them at the level they are at but that person is still in there . We may not always see them but they are there. I was lucky my mom knew I was her daughter to her dying day and I thank God for that. ..I also participate in Memory Walk each year. It helps me feel as if I am helping a little and It is a way to honor and remember my mom. Even the smallest things can make a difference to a patient. For my mom it was knowing she wasn't alone and having her "kids". my mom loved cats and when we had to go to LTC we gave her a stuffed cat that looked like hers. She carried that thing everywhere. Yes she knew it wasn't real but is reminded her of hers and it also gave her something to pet/stroke a comfort. Good Luck to you in your nursing. Don't let others blinders get you down. You are going to do just fine. Don't lose your special gifts for working with these patients. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEACE and GOOD LUCK

[RHIA, RN]

You do make a difference!! CARING... is what makes the difference! I have been an LPN for 29 years. Everyday that I go to work I make a difference in someones life. Residents/ patients, family members and coworkers. Unfortunately in our society there are not enough people that are in healthcare for the caring/ compassion. For many, it is only a means of having a stable job and a constant paycheck. Real passion for making a difference is what makes a GREAT nurse. I may not be reconized and praised by my peers but in the end...I can go home after my shift lay my head down and go to sleep knowing that I GAVE RESPECT, COMFORT, HONOR, AND DIGNITY TO MY ELDERLY HEROS!! Keep doing what you do best and let the ignorance of others remind you why your presence is so important. Don't treat your patients/residents as you would want to be treated! TREAT THEM AS YOU WOULD WANT YOUR OWN MOTHER TREATED!!!

Love this, as a former VA nurse I couldn't agree more.

[sunnyside11]

Yes, you do make a difference! I have worked "behind" the scene in LTC for almost 20 years in Health Information. (I am in the process of working towards my RN and can't wait to keep making a difference in someones life.) Even though I am not hands-on with the residents, yet, when I walk onto the Alzheimers unit, there are several residents that I know recognize me and "communicate" with me daily and I know their day would not be the same if I wouldn't make that conncection daily, because my day isn't the same without them! So, stay positive and don't listen to anyone negative....just being in healthcare is making a difference!

[buenavidaRN]

Be encouraged! Remember, we are technically working for the hospital/supervisors/etc., but we are really working for the patients and their families! It is part of our job to always treat each patient with respect, regardless of the situation. I have had other nurses, CNA's and even family members tell me, 'he/she doesn't understand you, you don't have to talk to him/her.' It is always our responsibility to explain what we are doing and why. I know this can help to alleviate fears, even with the alzheimer's community.

We are all gifted with different strengths to work in different areas, and it sounds like you are definately suited for the aging population. Good luck with your nursing career, and stand firm in your beliefs!

[CapeCodMermaid, RN]

A bit corny perhaps but true nonetheless:

A little girl was walking down the beach which was covered with star fish. She picked one up and threw it back in the water. A man walked by and told her there were so many star fish on the beach, she couldn't possibly make a difference. She picked up another star fish and threw it back in the water. She looked at the man and said, "I made a difference to that one, didn't I."

Don't pay attention to anyone who tries to belittle you or what you do. A patient does NOT have to be lucid to understand the tone of a kind word or the comfort of a gentle touch. I've been an RN since 1982 and never felt like a was polishing the deck chairs on the Titanic. Every day I go to work I make a difference to someone.

[NurseBunny13]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and kind words. Her comment truly hurt me, not because I felt she was attacking me personally but because it hurt my heart knowing someone, a nurse of all people, would believe that we don't make a difference. Your stories and experiences have truly mended my heart because I know that while there are many that may feel the same way as she I know that you guys don't. I will be participating in the Memory Walk again this year even though the company I now work for does not. I started a team and raised money by myself last year and I will do it again this year because the victims and their families suffering from this horrible disease need to know they are not alone and that others care and we are doing what we can to find a cure. Everyday I think about the people and their families I have worked and am still working with that are living with this disease and I know I would never stop doing everything in my power to help them. I love them as if they were my own mothers/fathers. I became a nurse because when I was a child I spent a large portion of my life in a hospital. The nurses were there for me when my family could not be. They were my family and cared for me as if I were their own family member. I care for my patients the same way I would want my own family members cared for, the same love the nurses showed me when I was sick. I don't know if they knew they made a difference or not but they did. I was very little and I know I couldn't express gratitude the way I can now, but I know they made a difference in my life.Your stories, experiences, and gratitude have also made a difference to me. I thank you all for encouraging me to continue on the path I have chosen and letting me know that I really am making a difference. I hope that I will continue to make a difference in the lives of others just as you all do. Thank you all for everything :)

[themixedtapejm]

You are very right, that nurse should not have said that because you do make a difference. I am a charge nurse on a dementia unit, and I can tell you that it takes a special staff to provide care. When family members come to visit they always have good things to say,because their mom, or dad look comfortable. When the family approves, that's always a good thing. Caring for dementia patients is such hard work but can be so rewarding at times, this is just very hard for some to understand, but don't give up.

[I_OYVEY]

You are making a difference. My Dad had Alzheimer's and much of the time he didn't know s--t from Shiloh but there was one nurse who made his day, he reconized her and that made him happy and he would smile for a few fleeting moments. At first it was not that way however she came into the room one day as I was speaking to my Dad about a football game, he didin't particularly like football but he loved the Oklahoma Nebraska game, absolutely loved it. She saw the look on him face as I spoke with him regarding the game. After that she would always talk to him about the big Oklahoma Nebraska game when she came in to do whatever needed to be done and it made him happy, put him at peace and he was a lot more cooperative. She could have been like the others and came in and did whatever was required and left, but she went the extra step and made a old dying man happy a few minutes a day and for that I will always be grateful. A few minutes is alot sometimes expecially when you as the nurse is so busy and a few minutes is also a lot to a patient who is lost in time. Thank you to those who take the few extra minutes, it is not forgotten.