visiting policy for unmarried fathers

[rockabye]

i was curious about what other hospitals had in place for visitation rights for fathers who aren't married to mother (which is increasingly becoming the norm) but want to see their babies, esp in cases where mom does not want dad to visit. i recently was in the middle of a situation like this and i think my hospital's policy decided on if mom lists a father on any paperwork, then he can visit regardless of her feelings about him, unless there is a specific reason that it would be unsafe, such as reported abuse, court order, etc. we don't do dna testing, that's something mom has to do on her own if she's uncertain. i don't think mom can start changing who she thinks is actually the father once she has an initial father listed. mothers are also allowed not to list a father as well, just can't remove a father once listed. its amazing how quickly relationships can sour from conceiving a baby with someone and then 6+ months later not wanting him to visit their baby!

[darynash]

If the mom allows him to have the second band, he can visit whenever he wants. If not, then he can only visit with the mom or the other band holder. If she names him on the birth certificate but doesn't have second band, then we get a copy of his driver's license and he can visit any time he wants. If she does not put him on the birth certificate and does not give him a band, he is out of luck. We do not do paternity testing either. Mom can bring in the kit she has ordered from an outside lab if she wants though.

[TiffyRN, BSN, PhD]

Of course there are always exceptions made by the manager, but otherwise:

The only people who can visit without a band would be the husband of the mother. In our State (as in most I believe) he is presumed to be the father. If an unmarried father wants to visit and the mother is agreeable (and he didn't get a band), then a copy of an official ID is made, if mom does not approve or changes her mind, she can "rescind" the band or permission. We do not do paternity DNA tests so I believe the only recourse would be some kind of court order (which would likely require a DNA test) and to my knowledge it has never come to that yet.

[dawnebeth]

If Dad is listed on the birth certificate, he can visit. If there is animosity between the parents, the social worker generally gets involved to set up separate times for each to come to the bedside. This has certainly happened before!

If there is no dad listed on the birth certificate, or mom isn't sure between two or more guys, we only allow in whomever the mom has listed on her visitors card, regardless of what their alleged involvement with the baby may be.

We had one case where the baby was red-headed, Irish looking. Mom was Hispanic and her husband was black. We took one look at paternal Grandma and thought, no way. The presumed dad came in and we thought, no way. Then a red haired, actually off the boat, Irishman showed up and talked to the social worker. After quite a rigamarole, meetings with mom and the social worker, etc, he was allowed to visit. Very, very obviously the baby's dad. Looked just like him. Suddenly, the paternal grandma and all rarely visited again, and the Irish dad visited nearly every day until the baby died. It was a very sad and complicated situation to say the least.

[ladyj5412]

This is definitely a hard situation, and as you point out, its becoming the norm more and more. Every facility handles it differently, from my experience.

[ScammRNC]

In my state, if there is a husband then he is presumed to be the father. If unmarried, then the mom has basically all control. She can decide who to put on the visiting list. She could list the father as an independent visitor, which mean he can visit without her during visiting hours. Or she could put him on the regular list, which means she has to be present in order for him to visit during visiting hours. Many times the moms put the father on the independent list then gets mad at him and wants him removed, then they make up and she wants him back on. We now only allow one change on the independent list unless SW makes an exception.