Unsure about fit for program.

[alistevens]

Hi,

I'm a Pre-Nursing Student planning to do ADN and then follow with an ADN to BSN. I've been in contact with multiple programs near me and have narrowed down the ones that I am most interested in. I have no doubt that I can meet the requirements and also be competitive for entrance.

The issue I'm running into is I have ZERO support from my family and friends. Which is okay, I guess. Hurtful, yes, but not deal breaking. I have some insecurity issues and the things they say make me feel like maybe I won't belong in this field. I am generally pretty quiet, I prefer to think before I speak so I'm not overly bubbly. I am assertive when I need to be but I don't really have the "smile that lights up a room" per se. I am also not exactly the prettiest person in the world. I know that sounds completely shallow and stupid, but I mean, honestly... I've never met a nurse that wasn't above average. I am concerned I would never get past an interview, despite the skills I may have.

I know I have the brains for the classes and the job. I also know that I have a desire to serve and care for people, nursing has always been my passion. I'm just worried about not being the right fit in this world.

Any advice?

Thank you!

[Cortneyp98]

If Nursing is what you want to do, and you love it, then you should do it. You are not going to school for your family. I think that is very admirable and they should too. At the end of the day, if you don't like nursing once you get into it, you can always change your major and focus on something else. You also shouldn't feel inadequate because you don't think you are pretty. If you can do your job and save lives and really take care of the people assigned to you, you are good.

The fact that you have the confidence to do this job says enough. We need more nurses!!! Keep pushing through.

[alistevens]

Oh, I'm not worried about not liking the program. My grandmother had a stroke and is paralyzed and I am her caretaker with everything from baths to medications to keeping her on track with her physical therapy with the help of her RN. I love it. I also spend a lot of time shadowing RNs at our local hospital just to make sure this is where my heart is and it is where I feel most at home.

I suppose the only issue I'm having is my family preying on my insecurities about my appearance and personality because I'm not doing what they want. (They had dreams of me going to law school.) Thank you so much for your reply!

[NICUismylife, ADN, BSN, RN]

There comes a time where you have to be your own cheerleader. If this is your passion, then do it and don't let anything or anyone get in your way. Pretty is subjective. Some of the most beautiful people in my life, I did not consider attractive when I met them, but their heart and their kindness made them more and more beautiful as I got to know them. Now, I honestly cannot believe I didn't always find them beautiful. Nursing is one of those professions where physical beauty doesn't matter a lick. What matters is heart, compassion, kindness. It sounds like you have that! So get ready to cheer yourself on. Do your best, and forget what anyone else has to say.

My husband didn't want me to become a nurse. He told me to quit constantly. He told me my lack of family time was destroying our family. There were days that I drove to clinic at 6am crying my eyes out. But once I got in that hospital, and started helping people and making a difference, all of those feelings of guilt disappeared. There has never been a doubt in my mind that this is what I'm meant to do. It is my purpose in life, and he's had to just get used to it. 2 years later, he now supports me. He sees my passion. He hears my stories and has finally realized that I'm making a difference in people's lives every day. But if I hadn't held firm and stood my ground, I would be miserable working in a job that I wasn't passionate about. I had to do me. Do you, girl!

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

OP: You will fit in fine.

[alistevens]

Thank you all so much!

I've decided to not keep anyone in the loop as far as my schooling except my husband. I can love them and just leave them out of this part of my life. I get so much happiness from helping other people, and these programs are so competitive I simply don't have time to let their negativity cause me to mess one tiny thing up.

Y'all are great. Thank you again.

[jeijeap]

Your situation is pretty much parallel to mine- except I told those who didn't believe in me to take a flying cartwheel for themselves! You can do this despite what your family and friends say. It takes a dream, a heart, a strong gut, and a deep breath but I think you probably have all of those things already! Do it- be a nurse and show them all you are the right stuff! (oh and not all nurses are pretty, that only happens in the movies!)

[Zyprexa_Ho]

Let me put it this way:

Would you rather have a competent nurse or a friendly nurse?

Would you rather have a competent nurse or a pretty nurse?

Would you rather have a competent nurse or a "normal" person as a nurse?

Surely you can see from this that your skill and hard work is what is important. Not all that other BS

[GourmandG]

I'm sorry to hear that your family and friends aren't being very supportive. These are the people you expect and trust to have your back. Shame on them. Tell them firmly "Let's agree to disagree" and change the subject. If it keeps coming up, tell them, "I know you care and you're trying to protect me because you don't want to see me get hurt if my nursing dream doesn't work out. I appreciate this, however, it is exhausting. I don't want this to come between us. So let's agree to disagree". Refuse to engage in this discussion because it takes two to argue. So don't. If they usually gang up on you than visit them individually. If all else fails, you may need to distance yourself a bit from them because this type of negativity does wear one down. Once they see you excel and how happy you are as a nurse, they will come around because at the end of the day, your family and friends love you and just want you to be happy.

"Smile that lights up a room" and "prettiest person in the world..." Sounds more like a casting call for models and actresses! Are these the movie and TV nurses? I'm glad I never got this memo otherwise I wouldn't be in nursing school right now! In regards to being fearful that you won't pass an interview... if you think that way, you've already lost. I'm an introvert myself and not as bubbly as others but you better believe me, during that interview, I will muster up the energy and bubble like no one else! Being friendly is important but don't forget other things that are equally important such as having a good heart, mind, patience, positive attitude, and qualifications/experience!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We tend to be our worst critic anyway. It's like this quote, "Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" Could it be that you respect, admire and look up to these nurses that they are beautiful to you? Heck, maybe your hospital is full of supermodel nurses but that is no reason to be discouraged from following your heart. What if they didn't apply because they were afraid someone would think they wouldn't be good nurses or that they were high maintenance because they were too good looking? :)

Lastly, there is no way to know if you would be a good fit unless you give it a go. Even if it weren't a good fit, at least you won't have regrets. And if you do change careers, that is ok too. I'm on my 2nd career myself and plenty of my classmates already have degrees/ worked in civil engineering, psychology and business. Good luck and show everyone!

[dorineidan]

It seems more of a self image issue. Look I have a crappy family who didn't even think I would graduate high school. I use negativity as a challenge I have even had academic advisors knock me down as politely as they can without me reporting them. Use it and turn it into motivation. I always say I have to succeed because I have a lot of people to prove wrong. Every time I am a step closer to my goal I am filled with this uncontrollable joy. I have felt that the universe was in cahoots with those who wanted to see me fail. Remember the opinions of others never matter surround your self with people who get it and get you. You will be a great nurse There is no certain personality, age or look you have to have to be a nurse. Focus on your studies and let everyone else fade into background noise. All that matters is that you believe in yourself and if you do! Honey you are half way there !

[Allie8691]

It sounds like they need to worry about their own lives and stop worrying so much about yours lol! You have got your life together, you are smart and you got this. I have a lot of friends who are nurses and no one is the same, some are very pretty and bubbly and some are downright mean but they get the job done lol. Please PM me if you want to chat, or just want a friend who is also starting out in school :)

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I have actually never come across anyone that equated nursing qualifications with physical appearance... never. There is just no connection. If anything, above average intelligence is a bonus, but above average appearance ... nope. Very strange. Maybe they've seen too many soap operas or TV shows. You know, the ones in which all the docs are centerfold-quality??