Unreliable coworker asks for reference?

[Emergent, RN]

I have 2 jobs, at hospital A and B. A CNA with whom I work at hospital A confided that she is applying to work at another hospital, hospital C. She asked for a reference. This tech has been unreliable attendence wise, moody, occasionally verbally abusive to nurses she doesn't like. A lot of us have wondered how she has kept her job, but the manager has a soft spot for her for some reason. She actually has a lot of potential and capabilities, but seems to have a mood disorder and personal problems.

I readily agreed to give her a reference. For one thing I still am rooting for her, she is trying to get into nursing school and has had some hard knocks in life. I thought, maybe a new start in a bigger hospital would help her. As a side benefit we'd all like to see her go because she has contributed to drama and will sometimes not show up to work.

Now she has sent me a message that she is interested in hospital B, in the unit where I work. I most definitely would not want her to go there. I'm not sure if the job fell through and Hospital C or what, but I don't really want her to come to work at hospital B which is my main job. I know she will be asking to use me as a reference or else assumes that I will be a reference since I already told her I would be.

How do you guys handle someone asking you to be a reference whom you don't really think is any good?

[llg, PhD, RN]

I have been asked by students for references and said "No" ... so I know it can be awkward to do. Your problem stems from the fact that you have already agreed to give her one for the other hospital, indicating that you think she is doing a good job. My advice is to remember that and "just say 'No' the next time someone you are not willing to work with yourself asks for a reference."

Now that you are in this awkward situation ... hmmm .... I would still be honest and tell her that I can't do it. If she wants more information about why I am refusing, I would gently point out a few of the problems she has and say that you wouldn't want to be held accountable by your co-workers if those problems continued in your current workplace.

Yes, it will hurt her feelings -- so be as gentle as you can. But I wouldn't be serving as a reference to someone I didn't want to be responsible for having gotten hired.

[Sour Lemon]

I'm so glad this hasn't happened to me. While it would be kinder to say "no", I'd be tempted to just give an honest reference (good and bad), if I felt the asker couldn't deal with my refusal in an adult manner.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Say no.

[taivin]

The truth would go a long way in helping this person. Dance around the subject and give an excuse; you do her no favor. This also allows her to continue the behavior. As a nurse you are also a teacher; teach her to advance herself and career with the truth.

Face to face honesty would help her more then your reserved compliance. What are you going to say when the potential employer calls you? I've given many references, and every single time they've called. If she's like that with all that you said, what about the patients?

[brillohead, ADN, RN]

While I agree that honesty is always good, there are gentler ways to go about it, too.

You could tell her that the "politics" or "vibe" at Hospital B is way different than Hospital A, such that you don't feel she would be a good fit there / you don't want her to get involved in something that will not have a good outcome for her / there are cliques there that would make her miserable / etc.