Unprofessional doctor

[ABQLNDRN]

Hi everyone,

I am looking for thoughts and perspectives about a situation so that I can take the next step in dealing with it.

I work with a doctor who has been rude to me and others for about the last month. I tried not to take her rudeness personally because I figured she is just stressed out. She always talks about the "countdown" to the end of her fellowship. She has more than once mentioned to people at work how much she hates her fellowship and described it as the "bane of her existence" on Facebook. So, trying to be a cheerful person and brighten her day a bit, I say "hello" to her whenever I see her, to which she bares no smile and gruffly and obligatorily says "hello" back...I try my best to promote a good working environment for everyone.

Yesterday, I was taking care of a very sweet, laboring patient. She had a very sweet husband and a sweet extended family as well. We all got along very nicely. I do my best to provide a warm, nurturing, caring environment as childbirth is usually a time of great joy. I want all the kiddos I help see into this to have a very Happy Birthday. :) All those good vibes were wrecked when in walks Dr. Grumpy (I'll call her Dr.G for short). She literally barked off about three "orders" to me...things that aren't medical orders...like "change the pt's underpad" and such...seriously, I don't need to be told how to be a nurse. I am not a lazy nurse who waits to be told to do things. I am busy and proactive. Then she quickly apologized for being "so demanding." Next, she turns to the resident in the room and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to be a princess today." Huh? What does that mean, anyway? That you are going to keep up with this ridiculous trend of telling me how to do the job I've been doing without prompting for the last five years of my life? I didn't respond to her "princess" statement. I thought it was just dumb that she said that. Furthermore, I am precepting a nursing student right now and want to teach her to be professional.

Long story short, Dr. G kept that poo up all day. I didn't pay too much attention to it...didn't take it personally...until she yelled at me in front of two other doctors, my student and a couple of other nurses. Here's what happened: My patient was completely dilated and was starting to push with contractions. Dr. G is not satisfied with the fact that the pt's contractions are five minutes apart, so she wants an oxytocin infusion started. I didn't really think it was totally necessary but couldn't disagree with her reason for asking for oxytocin--it would be helpful. Well, Dr. G had walked out of the room after demanding that Pit be started. When I came back with the Pit, I asked the resident at what dosage she wanted to start the infusion. She said 1mU, which I did. (She put the order in the computer later). Those of you in L&D know that oxytocin is a high-risk medication and low-dose "Pit" infusions are more effective than high-dose. After 15 mins, I increased the infusion by 1 more unit. The resident them told the pt that she would have her take a short break from pushing and would have her start again when her ctx were 2-3 mins apart. My patient was stable; I stepped around the corner to get a sip of coffee in the "board room." Dr. G is is there looking at a computer. She whips her chair around, stared at me in the face and asked if the Pit had been started, to which I replied, "Yes." She asked me what it was started at; I told her. She immediately yelled very loudly saying, "ONE? ONE? Her contractions are SIX minutes apart! How do you expect her to have a baby with ONE mU of Pit going?" I said, "I just increased it to 2." She said, "We need to CRANK that Pit. This is ridiculous Why did you start it at one?" I said, "Because that's what your resident ordered and I started it according to her orders." She replied, "Well, you need to crank that pit!" and whipped her chair back around. Why in the world was she yelling at me? I went back to my pt's room to help with her delivery, unable to smile for several minutes. My face was so hot I had to step outside the door for a couple of minutes (my charge nurse stayed in the room with the patient during that time).

It was at that point that I started to feel like it was personal with Dr. G. She was nice to the other nurses and techs yesterday. What bugs me is, I seriously cannot think of anything I ever did to upset her, personally or professionally. I am so upset about this. It literally ruined my day yesterday. What should I do to handle this? I am definitely not going to let her just get away with being so unprofessional.

[SkiMama]

"Furthermore, I am precepting a nursing student right now and want to teach her to be professional"

It sounds to me like you are doing a fantastic job with that goal. Good for you for remaining professional and doing YOUR part to keep up a positive environment for all of your colleagues and patients. And sometimes it's so hard...but you have to remind yourself that being in control of your reactions to others is the very best that you can do.

It's too bad that there are some ppl out there intent on being miserable and sharing that dark cloud with as many poor souls as possible - but don't take it personally. Some ppl just plain S*CK.

[kakamegamama]

Have you thought about taking your observations about the situation(s) to THAT doctor---and asking if you did something to offend or upset her and is there a way you can help make the last months of her fellowship more pleasant for her? Sometimes, taking the responsibility for what happens, even if it isn' your fault, can defuse the situation, and, may have the added benefit of helping her see her own unprofessionalism. You, by the way, sound like the type of nurse I would put my students with any day of the week! Keep up the good work. Sorry that day was such a rough one

[ABQLNDRN]

I have thought about that approach. Thank you for your kind words!

[ABQLNDRN]

Thank you, also, SkiMama! :)

[noahsmama]

First of all, why do you have access to her Facebook page? If you're her Facebook friend, unfriend her now. She is clearly stressed out and needs to do something to vent, but given your relationship with her, you don't need to be (shouldn't be) reading her vents. If she wants to tell her friends that her fellowship is the "bane of her existence", she should be able to do so, without fear of offending anyone (which is why you should unfriend her!).

It sounds clear that she's very stressed out, and very unhappy with her current position, and this is contributing to her behavior. That does not in anyway excuse her behavior, but may help to explain it.

I agree with previous advice to try to talk to her, IF you can catch her at a time when she's likely to be less stressed. Hopefully talking to her will help but if not, then maybe you just need to start your own countdown till she leaves! (or if that's not acceptable to you, then work your way up the chain of command, after talking to her first).

Sorry you're having to deal with this!

[ABQLNDRN]

We are FB friends because up until recently, we got along great. I think you are right about needing to delete her. I've been thinking about doing that. As far as venting goes, she vents everytime she works the floor. It's funny that you mentioned doing my own countdown...that's exactly what I'm silently doing! :) LOL. I think I will try to buy her a coffee and talk to her. Or is that being too submissive?

[noahsmama]

No, I don't think it's too submissive to buy her coffee -- I think that's an excellent idea!

I do still think you should de-friend her on FB, and even let her know why -- but not in a negative, confrontational way. Let her know that you know she needs to vent, but that it's hard for you to not take her FB vents personally.

Or, an alternative on FB would be to hide her posts -- you can do this by going to any post by her that you can see in your news feed, hover the mouse to the right of the post until you see an "X", select the x, and choose "hide all posts by this poster". That way, you won't see her posts, but you'll still be FB friends -- you could still look at her profile, and you could unhide her in the future -- maybe AFTER she leaves her current position and is hopefully a much happier camper!

Good luck!

[Kateoh82]

It sounds like she has a personal issue and feels the need to take it out on you. It isn't right. What happened to "treat others the way you would want to be treated"?

[psulli2010]

I would want you to be my preceptor. Just sayin'.

She is being the unprofessional one, and I think you are handling yourself well with how you react to her, because that would really upset me too! I would agree with the above posters in that maybe you should ask her if there was something that you did to offend her. Or, just keep doing what you are doing and ignore her. She sounds like a miserable person in general, and sometimes there is nothing you can do to change it. She's not worth your stress.

[shhhh]

I think the next time she blasts into you, it would be very reasonable for you to just look at her and say, "If I talked to you the way you are talking to me, I think you'd be pretty upset. So, what makes you think it's okay to talk to me like that?" I've found that some people only seem to realize that they're being nasty when you explicitly say to them, "You are being very rude. Don't talk to me like that." It's very hard for many of us to be confrontational like that, though.

Since she's a fellow, does she work under an attending physician? If so, do you feel comfortable telling that attending about her behavior?

I just ask because in a previous position, I worked with approachable, wonderful attendings whom I consider my friends. Sometimes, we got an intern who'd treat the nurses like we were handmaidens and act like self-entitled jerks. Whenever we'd come across an intern like this, we'd just let the attending know about it and it would be magically resolved.

Thought you'd all reading would appreciate this: Once, I overheard an attending say to a snotty intern in a corner of my old unit, "Nurses do not work under us doctors. I'm making it clear to you that these nurses are my colleagues. You will not treat my colleagues poorly any longer." He's still my favorite doc I've ever worked with. Go Doctor Pete! :yelclap:

[kool-aide, RN]

I think you're handling the situation well, and I do think you need to have a conversation with her. Inviting her to coffee is a great idea, don't jump on her case, ask her first if theres something that's been bothering her. I wouldn't go to management about this unless she became more hostile/harassing in the workplace. Choose your battles.