Unfair treatment by co-workers/boss

[MultipNP]

I am sure I'm not the only one experiencing this -- but I'm kind of in a bad situation. This will be long, so I'm sorry in advance!

I am the breadwinner for my family, and have young children. There is already quite a bit of pressure on me. I am working in a birth center -- which is exactly where I want to be. I became a nurse just so I could do labor.

I was hired at this place over 2 years ago as a labor nurse. I had previous labor experience from other hospitals and some med-surg experience on top of that. In this particular unit (LDRP combined), nurses start out in PP/Nsy, then are oriented to labor after several months. Unfortunately, our unit is very "clicky". It's like being back in high school. :-( At the time, though, things were just fine and I got along well with everyone.

Just before I was to begin my L/D orientation, I found out I was pregnant (surprise). Since I started showing really early, I had to break the news to my boss. She suggested perhaps I should wait to do the L/D orientation after I delivered so I could be as stress-free as possible while pregnant, and that I'd be more fresh off orientation as soon as I got back from my leave. Since I have a history of complicated pregnancies, this seemed like a really good idea.

Well, of course, this pregnancy turned out to be the most difficult I've experienced (started contracting at 27 weeks, severe poly, labile BP's, macrosomia), and I couldn't stop working because I am the only one bringing in income in our house. My doctor agreed that I could still work, but wanted me to be careful. My co-workers seem to have a disdain for pregnant women (isn't that a hoot?!?), often calling them "whiny". Many of these nurses are not yet mothers, and are clueless as to the difficulties of pregnancy -- let alone a high-risk situation like mine. See where this is going? I was mistreated, dumped on (given assignments like 400-lb post-ops who couldn't move so had to be moved), and often refused help when I asked for it. My doctor was aware of how rough things were, so told me to stay home several times when he felt it was dangerous for me to work. In those cases, he faxed a note to my boss saying he wanted me NOT to work.

Anyway, I had to leave a little early for my maternity leave, and then had to deliver early because the baby was showing signs of distress. I had a very difficult delivery (18-hour labor, asynclitic pres., shoulder dystocia, hemorrhage, baby was sent straight to NICU, etc.). Just a few hours after delivering, in walked my manager with some papers in her hands. "It's time for you to do your eval -- and you have to do it now." (WHAT?!?) I'm not kidding. Not only this -- she had walked in the room for no good reason a few hours earlier while I was in stirrups. It's bad enough to be this vulnerable around the co-workers who have to be there. But this was just downright wrong. Who wants their boss in the room when they're trying to push a baby out? I was livid. Of course, knowing how things can be, I didn't fuss. I just did the eval (even though I can't even remember what I wrote because I was on Percocet and completely worn out).

Fast forward... My first day back, my boss handed me a "disciplinary action form" to sign because of the times I'd had to call out per my doctor's orders. She said, "The new rule is that doctor's excuses don't count anymore." Again -- WHAT?!?

Next, I noticed that I wasn't scheduled to start L/D orientation. Hmmm.... So I asked my boss about it. "Oh, I forgot all about that! We'll get right on it." That was over a year ago. After repeatedly asking and being given the same bull, I have watched brand new nurses come in and go straight to labor, new grads, etc. All the while, I have been asking, and being told, "your turn will come." I don't think it ever will.

I finally asked a nurse (one I know I can trust) just recently if she knew anything was being said about me at all. She indicated that she knew that a couple folks on the day shift (I work nights) decided they didn't like me, and unfortunately those are the folks who are close to my boss. So I know it's not going to happen now (even though I am still being told repeatedly, "I haven't forgotten you -- we'll get to it!").

I am seriously considering speaking with a lawyer. A friend of mine who is a JD is looking into researching the types of problems I've had at work and seeing if she can find just the right lawyer for me in our area.

I work VERY hard, and know that if I weren't meticulous with my charting and caring for patients as well as I do (my patients consistently ask if I'll be back and if I can be their nurse again), I'd probably be out of a job as I'm sure my co-workers who don't like me (it's not all of them -- just a few certain ones) would love to have a real reason to get rid of me.

I am very down about this -- and frustrated. There aren't a ton of hospitals in my area, and I really want to work OB. The OB jobs are harder to come by, too. Sigh....

Any other ideas? Thanks for hearing me out!

[travel50]

My daughter is suddenly having trouble with her 1st pregnancy. 32 wks, lots of pains, doc just put her on bedrest. Her co-workers have just donated some of their sick days for her so she does not have to use her actual maternity leave until baby gets here. She is so very grateful. She and others donated days last yr to a co-worker whose wife died unexpectedly, so he could stay home longer with his understandably traumatized 6 yr old. It made such a difference.

My crew is spoiled. If they will just tell me before the new schedule is made out that they want a day off, I approve it. And I really don't care what it is for. If they are feeling so overwhelmed that they need a day off, just say so. Someone will cover. My ADON or myself (DON) will cover the floor if we have to. It is in my best interest to keep my staff happy. But I am just as spoiled. Let me have a really bad day, and I get the sweetest notes. They will come and stand at my door, ask what is wrong, have they done something, can they help. My administrator will send me home early if I looked overwhelmed. One of my nurses nearly lost it last month...fiance' kicked her out, she had no place to go, no money, etc. One of my other nurses went and got her. One of the volunteers for our nsg home brought her food and clothes. We found her a place to live. The administrator gave her extra furniture. And I gave her a week off to get resettled. Last time I was really sick, I went to work, climbed into an empty bed and got the best care you could possibly imagine. We also babysit so people don't have to call in. Child has to be well behaved and willing to take instructions from others. But we do what we have to to make work a place they want to be. Just can't imagine why some people so mistreat their employees.

[kacefaceRN]

travel50, can I come work with you when I graduate?

[MultipNP, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

travel50 - I'd like to come too!

[RN1982]

Let me tell you something. I WOULD be ticked off if my manager walked in while I was in stir-ups. Furthermore, I would be livid if she walked in a few hours after I had given birth. I would go above and beyond her and complain to administration. I would consult with an attorney.

Also, if she hasn't put you on orientation for L/D yet, she probably won't do it anytime soon. You can find better jobs out there. Start looking around.

[rjflyn, ASN, RN]

I was going to say I just left a place that I felt I was like part of a family. No one deserves to be treated like the OP was. If they treat staff like that I wonder what their pt satisfaction scores look like.

[MultipNP, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

The pt. satisfaction scores have been lower, which is not surprising. I am on a patient satisfaction committee -- and have made the point that if we took better care of each other, then our patients would definitely benefit.

Most of the nurses on our unit ignore the calls of patients if they aren't assigned to them. I am one of very few who will go see these patients. If I were a patient and had used my call light, I'd want to see someone rather quickly! I know that some of our patients have had to wait a LONG time (and sometimes been forgotten altogether) to see someone after calling out. Whether I can help or not with whatever their request is, the least I can do is make sure the patient knows her request is being acknowledged!

[bestbabynurse]

I too am stuck on the intrusive behavior of your manager. I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience. I can't even imagine how you feel.

Travel50: You just gave me a headache, as I had to go so quickly from "Oh how terrible!", to "Oh how wonderful!" in less than a minute!

[travel50]

To those who asked, I don't often have openings, but if I did I'd be glad to have you join us. Guess I have just had so many awful DONs in my 26 yrs of nsg and have worked places where no one seemed to care. I've said many times that I hadn't wanted this job, but it landed in my lap. I've never been overly concerned with position and authority, but since I have it, I use it the best I can to make work better for my staff.

[Batman24]

Let me tell you something. I WOULD be ticked off if my manager walked in while I was in stir-ups. Furthermore, I would be livid if she walked in a few hours after I had given birth. I would go above and beyond her and complain to administration. I would consult with an attorney.

Also, if she hasn't put you on orientation for L/D yet, she probably won't do it anytime soon. You can find better jobs out there. Start looking around.

That really is inexcusable. You should have told her to leave in both instances. She was wrong and she knows it. How dare she abuse her position. I would report these things to HR at once. It could help save someone else in the future.

I'd start looking as well. This isn't going to end on a good note. The writing is on the wall. In the interim be the best nurse you can, document away, and keep plugging away.

[LizzyL&DRN]

That really is inexcusable. You should have told her to leave in both instances. She was wrong and she knows it. How dare she abuse her position. I would report these things to HR at once. It could help save someone else in the future.

I'd start looking as well. This isn't going to end on a good note. The writing is on the wall. In the interim be the best nurse you can, document away, and keep plugging away.

Can it not also be a HIPPA violation? She had no business going in your room, she had no medical reason to go in there right? She wasn't involved in your care. But she was the manager of the unit, so I don't know.... maybe not. Other's thoughts on this???

[bestbabynurse]

My manager stopped in my doorway when I was a patient a couple of weeks ago, but she stopped more as a visitor. It was the next day after my surgery and I was feeling better. Totally different. That visit was appreciated. What happened with the OP is totally different and even though it wasn't necessarily a HPPA violation, her human rights were violated as she was stripped of her dignity by her boss. Maybe this would fall more under harassment.

[MultipNP, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

"She had no business going in your room, she had no medical reason to go in there right?"

Yes, there was no medical reason for her being there, other than to be "present". I already had co-workers (with whom I was much more comfortable) taking good care of me. Plus, my doctor had made it clear he wanted NICU and respiratory there. When those staff are requested, it's understood that extra people in the room would not be a good idea (for obvious reasons). Regardless, the LAST person in the world I wanted to see while in that situation was my boss.

I would have been fine with her stopping by for a visit. But she came in (despite the "do not disturb" sign on the door and my nurse telling her going in my room was not a good idea since she had just given me Methergine and Percocet) for business only.

I should add that this past year, when the time for my eval came, I told my boss that I had no clue how the last eval went because I was on narcotics when I filled it out, so would not be able to account for any goals that may have been set. Wouldn't you know, I got my full raise and didn't even have a verbal review of this past year's eval. It was just signed and filed, no questions asked. She obviously really knows she was wrong and doesn't want trouble.