Unbelievable inmate requests

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I just got this has an inmate request to see the PA:

" The breakthrough pain is becoming worse and causeing diminished dexterity and constant mental distraction"

(yeast infection)

I kid you not it reads just like that. Can't make this up.

Diminished dexterity from a yeast infection...hate it when that happpens. :rolleyes:

Specializes in LTC, Hospice, corrections, +.

Yea thats one I like... if your yelling at me I am pretty sure you are breathing!

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"I have a bad case of swamp a**" I didn't even want to ask...

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Not to killjoy this hilarious thread, but most of my I/M requests are just to inform the medical department that we owe them their $4 copay, or that they have a medical problem (that needs to be addressed by sick call).

The spelling is usually horrid, but even more funny is that when I respond, I forget how to spell and have to look everything up in a dictionary. I don't know why that is.

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The people yelling about how they can't breath remind me of the guy having a seizure, stopping to get up on his elbow and hock a lugie (sp?) to the side and then go back to having his seizure.

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Specializes in ER, HH, CTICU, corrections, cardiology, hospice.

Had one pinto want a sperm count.

Had another that was in "slightly unbearable pain".

No these are not the class valedictorians indeed.

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Specializes in Case Manager/Administrator.

my two favourites are

1. my kidneys are visible swollen. my staff were reluctant to respond, i on the other hand wanted to...just to see visible swollen kidneys

2. a request to attend a gout seminar from an offender who sends in at least 5 kites per day. kindly i informed the patient this would not be possible until they were paroled and it was on his own dime.

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