Twas The Night Before Christmas (poem) - A Nursing Version

[Kiren]

This little poem was sent to us by one of our nursing instructors. I hope you get a laugh out of it.

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the floor

Lasix was given, filling foleys galore.

Stockings were worn to prevent emboli,

They came in two sizes, knee and thigh-high.

The patients were nestled half-@$$ED in their beds,

While visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.

We were in our scrubs, and they were in their gowns,

Fashion was created to hide extra pounds.

When down in the ER, it became such a zoo,

They called admissions for you and me.

They're coming, they're going, and they're all looking the same.

My patience for patients is starting to wane.

Now call lights are ringing; the patient is 400 pounds,

Says, "Didn't get my Pericare; send my nurse now."

And now, delegation seems the best plan,

We try to send others for the needs of this man.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Santa himself and eight tiny reindeer.

Hey, says he comes from central supply.

To bring us lr, ns, & d5.

The doctors then scribbled what no one could read.

Orders on patients to measure their pee.

We try to decipher illegible words,

Orders for patients to guaiac their turds.

The new shift is arriving; our day is now through,

How did stool & emesis get in my shoe?

We give them a report and pass on the facts,

And tell them of the duodenum lining the cracks.

And the nurses exclaim as they limp out of sight,

"Ativan to all, and to all, a good night."

[Piki]

Love it!! Will have to share that at work. LMBO.

[SunbabiLPN]

That's cute! Thanks for sharing!

[nursemary9, BSN, RN]

Really Cute!!

I'll share this at work. ?

[RN1989]

That was pretty cool!