Tuesday January 24 2023

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 24, 2023

Good morning.

Joe, glad that you were able to set something up with your counselor.

Stars, sounds like your husband is on the fence of knowing he needs to do something but also not 100% ready. But he might be getting there.

It's "Florida cold" in that it's in the low 50's out there. I'm trying to lower my energy bill and not crank the heat up so high but it's a struggle. LOL

Not much going on today.

No Stars In My Eyes · Jan 24, 2023

Well.....We called the rehab place, and got SOME answers, but hubby is pizzing and moaning and crabby as all get-out about this. He said "the doctor never told me not to drink." Yeh, he did, he said, "You can't drink while you are taking the detox medicine." Any thing he comes up with that I have an answer to help him correct his woppy thinking, he gets mad. "I'm just telling you MY opinion and I don't need YOU adding your opinion." OKAY, then.

Basically he can go any day at any time. He has to bring enough clothes for a week (they have a washer and dryer at in-patient place) and he has to bring 30 days worth of his meds and insulin and supplies. We will have to go to Walmart and get him undies, shirts, sweat pants and sweat jacket, because he only has a few tolerable pieces of clothing that aren't ripped or stained.

He will not be able to have his cell-phone, or cigarettes (yipes!). He says, "they shouldn't make it so difficult for someone to get help." Well, (I DID NOT SAY...) who is doing all the calling and questioning and gathering what he needs, etc., etc? ME-me-me-me-me-me-me, dammit! And he thinks he doesn't need 28-30 days in the facility. But we all know how compliant he was when he had a chance to do detox here, so 2 weeks is almost laughable.

He wanted to know if, honestly, his drinking was so much trouble, was he so awful when he's been drinking. I said Yes. He gets unsteady and falls a lot and that is very stressful having to keep an eye on him all the time. I didn't add that he does not participate in conversations, he doesn't do any housework, he can't drive when he is drinking, and I have to do most everything.

I guess he doesn't remember SOBBING for 20 minutes the other night, saying he had to get the monkey off his back and it isn't fair to ME to have to take care of everything, and he needs my help and support.... No kidding! But I can't detox for him.

All for now, until the cart gets rolling here....I hope it is sooner than later!

Honestly, this sounds terrible, but I just want to drive him over there and dump him off and let THEM deal with his irritability.

nursej22, MSN, RN · Jan 24, 2023

It's cold and drippy here. Work is tedious. My newest coworker wants to do everything herself, but it is boring for me. OCD nurse is jumping from one thing to another, not finishing anything but won't let me do anything to help. And if anything changes without her input, she throws a hissy fit. She is upset about the new electronic record, she's upset about the new exam table in the clinic room, someone filed a lab under the wrong tab in a chart, and we can't find a TB contact and she wants to go out to homeless camps to find him. Not me!
NoStars, I do not envy you. Too bad you don't have a smart phone to record hubby. Stay strong.
Tweety, I hear ya about heating. I try to live with 66, but it's not nice.
Congrats Joe, on reaching the counselor.
Annie, you are a wonderful pet caregiver. I'm not I could put an animal down for incontinence.
Hi Dianah, I hope you haven't blown away.

Ado Annie, ASN, RN · Jan 24, 2023

Joe, I'm glad you heard back from the counselor.

Tweety, I am bad about wanting to stay comfortable at home. Air conditioning and heating in the same day? Sure, if that's what it takes! But, yeah, we have to be more budget-conscious.

Stars, at least you have information. Too bad they cant *require* a commitment of at least 30 days. I know not being able to have cigarettes will be hard. Surely they'll give him a nicotine patch but I have no doubt it's not the same.

J22, I hope you aren't bored for the rest of your working days.

I bought a train ticket to go visit my sister today. Almost immediately, Hubs texted about a sailing class he wants us both to attend which is on 2 Saturdays, one of them being the day I was to travel to San Antonio. I didn't know if I'd be able to cancel and get a refund but I did. Yay. So I'll plan that trip for a little later in February.

It's 33 degrees at the moment. A couple of inches (Hubs says 4") of heavy wet snow fell but as predicted the streets are just wet.

Editorial Team / Admin · Jan 25, 2023

Hello all!

Dh's jury duty was cancelled, so I had the car at my disposal.

I saw oldest ds today, when I dropped off a piece of mail for him, and took him to get burritos. Then, back at his place, watched him grind his coffee beans and prepare his morning coffee. It smelled wonderful! But had to go, to get OUR burritos home so dh and I could have a late lunch.

After lunch (and an episode of Father Brown), I went to the car dealer and got our windshield wipers replaced. The one on the passenger side was REALLY bad, as evidenced during our last storm. Then I cruised through the fabric store. It was nice to have just time to cruise. Didn't spend any money, as I have enough projects at home that need attention.

Not much else planned. Hugs to all!

Have a good evening!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 25, 2023

Stars, you husband is deep in denial with being so wishy washy about going to rehab. All you can really do is let him know the expectation is that you expect him to go to rehab and stop drinking and that his drinking is intolerable to you and that you will take him to rehab anytime any day. You might want to remind him that he has liver failure and drinking is killing him physically. None of this matters though to the alcoholic/addict. Some lose everything before stopping.

J22 66 is way too cold but understand that people "up north" keep their homes much colder than here.

Ado, there's been a few times I've used heat and air conditioning in the same day.

I did cave and turn up the heat. Later it warmed up outside to around 75 and the heat wasn't needed for much of the day.

nursej22, MSN, RN · Jan 25, 2023

Well said, Tweety. There is little doubt that he is going to die from drinking, whether from liver failure, a fall or MVA. I am sure his doctor has said this, and I would keep saying it. Do not let Mr. Stars think his drinking is to make anything easier for you.

No Stars In My Eyes · Jan 25, 2023

Oh I've told hubby he will kill himself with the alcohol and that it will not be a pleasant death or happen as fast as he might hope. And, when I am still asleep in the morning, that's when he drives out for the vodka. I tell him, "NO DRIVING! If you get in a wreck or are stopped by a cop, you KNOW what'll happen." He says, "I know."

Words make no difference.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jan 26, 2023

No Stars In My Eyes said:

Oh I've told hubby he will kill himself with the alcohol and that it will not be a pleasant death or happen as fast as he might hope. And, when I am still asleep in the morning, that's when he drives out for the vodka. I tell him, "NO DRIVING! If you get in a wreck or are stopped by a cop, you KNOW what'll happen." He says, "I know."

Words make no difference.

Of course they don't. He just needs to hear that you're not okay with it. But you certainly can't control the behavior. We're powerless like that and it's a bitter bill to swallow especially when the end result can be disastrous and painful.

It fell on deaf ears with my ex and he sacrificed our relationship. It fell on deaf ears on my sister until she went to jail. I know our situations were different.