Tuesday February 28th 2023

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2023

Good morning!

I'm off today. Going to yoga. Bowling was good. We're now tied for 2nd place, but there is also a three-way tie for third so one game is separating five teams so the next few weeks will be telling.

I emailed the funeral home that handled my ex's case to see if he's buried somewhere I can visit. I'd like some closure and this will help. Probably won't ever find out how he died.

Otherwise doing some cooking and going to hot yoga later.

Have a good day.

Editorial Team / Admin · Feb 28, 2023

Hello all!

Tweety, I hope you can find out something about your ex's burial area or how he died. Agree, it might help with closure. You sure did your best in that relationship, and drew the line in the sand/set limits. Congrats on the bowling, it will be exciting to hear how this plays out in the next few weeks (how many weeks are left?).

Joe, enjoy your Mexican food! What do you like at that restaurant?

Well, we changed our minds and did NOT go to the festival. Temps forecast to be 45 at night, which means too cold for jamming, for us. Some ppl have those propane heaters or a "fire" pit, neither of which seem to warm it up the way we like. We will sure miss seeing friends and jamming, and hearing the bands -- just the whole atmosphere! But, will have to wait till June, when we drive up to the Grass Valley festival. Sadly, we will put the RV away today. At least it got serviced. We are eating the food I bought for the camping trip.

So, we read that friends were performing last night at a steakhouse. They have a jazz band as well as a bluegrass band, and play jazz music at this venue. Last-minute, we made a reservation then drove to Palm Desert to hear them! The food was good, and the music great, as always! Got a chance to catch up with them a little, between sets. We visited with the bartenders, as our friends played in the Lounge area. I requested a non-alcoholic, low-sugar beverage, and one of the nice young men made one up for me, with lime juice, pomegranate juice, soda water, agave syrup, and pieces of mint. It was really good! Anyway, we had a good outing.

Not much else going on. Youngest and his wife should be here in a week or so, for a visit. Looking forward to that!

Have a good day!

No Stars In My Eyes · Feb 28, 2023

I can't believe that it is only Tuesday; I also can't believe that February is about to 'expire'.

Don't get alarmed but I woke up feeling depressed. Then I was playing with the words in my head, and got to, like "DEEP-rest!" Then I realized that wasn't exactly an encouraging thing to think about.

Hubby is on his 2nd day of the Ativan; says he feels "horrible". I told him to hang on, as 'they' say the third day is the worst day. But he has an appt w/ the doc again tomorrow in the late afternoon, so maybe he can tolerate the 'horribility' until then. I mean, *I* have to tolerate a LOT.....which is probably why I am feeling depressed.

Thank the Lord that Nannie was already out of bed when I came downstairs. She had her favorite pants on. I HOPE she put pull-ups and pads on, but since she is sitting on the chux on her recliner, I'm not too worried. If I'd had to get her up, that would have taken about 25 minutes, so I'm glad to be let off the hook in whatever small way I can be! (Will have to go check her bed in a short while, in case any of the sheets or blankets are wet.) I did bring her yogurt and juice down to her, and she said she'd already had that. Got her to take her pills, and then talked her into eating the yogurt, because I KNEW she'd not had anything yet. And now she is hard at work, resting with her eyes closed, and maybe soon she will sleep until suppertime? I hope so. Oh, yesterday she had tied knots in much of the fringe of her poncho, as she slept....sewing, I guess. But, thank goodness she untied them when she woke up.

Haven't seen our next door neighbors for a few days. Maybe they are on vacation, or maybe the husband has been deployed, or sent to stay with his parents. When the wife has had enough of his temperament, she sends him off, telling him he can't come back until his attitude gets better. The reason we know he has not been home is because ....GASP!....Mr. Perfect Yard has not mowed or weeded in over a week.

So, it is 74 degrees, VERY sunny and, yes, BRIGHT! At least it's not gray and rainy. Gosh, I have to dash out for some milk. It's always something, ain't it?

Well, it's another day to pray my way through.....

nursej22, MSN, RN · Feb 28, 2023

Good afternoon. Woke up to a couple of inches of fluffy snow! It has been snowing all day, but has warmed up enough to stopped accumulating. I shoveled off the driveway, because it's supposed to get real cold tonight.
We did a little shopping yesterday and actually went to the mall. I would guess that maybe a third of the space is occupied. I got some 8 pound dumbbells , shampoo, dental floss and mascara. Exciting, right? Dh was looking for clothes, but he had some sticker shock at the prices. We stopped at a little donut shop and got some treats. It's a local legendary shop, but neither of us had ever been there. Their donuts are so much better than grocery ones. A million years ago I worked in a bakery and became a donut snob.
Dh wants me to help him with the computer. I'll see what I can do.

No Stars In My Eyes · Feb 28, 2023

Beautiful snow photo, j22! Glad it isn't HERE, though!

Ummmm, I am slightly suspicious about hubby's current state of sobriety. He hasn't been moving exactly completely steadily. At least a half a dozen times he was a bit "off" getting up or sitting down.

Then nothing would do but he had to call the pharmacist to ask if it was OK to take Gas-X with his Ativan. Wouldn't take my word for it. He also asked me if he could take a Xanax; I told him the doc said he doesn't want him to be on both meds at the same time, so DON'T take Xanax if you have had the Ativan....to which he said "Really?" Yuh, really. But I wonder, while I was out picking up supper, if he might have taken a snort of vodka? Prolly so. Oh well. I don't know why a drinker thinks you can't tell when he's been drinking.

I'm WISHING, but not counting on anything. What I'd REALLY like is to put him in a residential detox/rehab for at least 60 days, and I'd like to place Nannie in a Nursing Home, permanently.

If wishes were horses, then beggers would ride. Tally-ho?

Tweety, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2023

Sounds like a deja vu experience with Mr. Stars wanting to medicate and/or drink. All the best.

Really love pictures J22.

Dianah, sorry you had to cancel your trip.

I've been depressed all day thinking about my ex dying. I think part of it is grieving again the loss of our relationship, even though it ended years ago. It never ended because I didn't love him. It ended because he couldn't stop drinking and I had to save myself. Still he was the only one that every loved me for me. Everyone else I've dated or been with wanted to change something about me they didn't like, or turn me into them.

Another part of just sad he's gone and not knowing if he was alone, drunk or sober or what happened. No one wrote on his obituary. No contact from the funeral home yet. Not sure they will answer me. I'll have to let it all go and accept it.

I made a nice white bean and potato soup for the coming days. Had a nice hot yoga class and made a Trader Joe run.

nursej22, MSN, RN · Mar 1, 2023

Big hugs to you, Tweety. I am sorry you having to process this. And I understand needing some closure. I hope you can look back at some good memories in spite of the pain. You are a good person and you deserve to be loved.

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 1, 2023

Same as j22, to you, Tweety.

Well, believe it or not Nannie went to bed at 7:15 PM. It must've been the blowflies and larvae on the TV screen (Forensic Files). Then at 8 PM we went through channels, and all of the ones we might have preferred watching were reruns that we'd seen before. So, at 8:22 PM, we're calling it a night. I'll, naturally be reading. Hubby will attempt to sleep and will call out to me, "Is it time for my pills yet?" What fun!

Ado Annie, ASN, RN · Mar 1, 2023

I echo those hugs and thoughts, Tweety. There's a lot to mourn -- the relationship yhat was, the one that could have been if he had been able to overcome the addiction, and the death (perhaps lonely) of someone you were once very close to.