Troubling nursing school dilemna. Help!!

[rls2004]

i saw a bunch of replies to questions about anxiety before nursing school. my situation is a little different from anything ive seen addressed. i'm supposed to start school tuesday and have some dread in my stomach for whatever reason. i think telling my story will help and maybe someone can possibly offer advice or encouragement or even some suggestions.

i graduated previously with a ba in accounting and hated the accounting field. the hours were long and you were salaried which meant i worked 50 hrs a week for a 40hr a week salary. it was extremely boring and there just aren't many accounting jobs here. most of it is in a public accounting firm where you work tons of hours and hear about a bonus you may never see if the firm isn't profitable enough. it just didn't feel right working all those hours and not getting compensated for it either.

my wife was also diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and my job required i travel a week to two weeks at a time. her ms is relapsing-remitting so different symptoms come and go. unfortunately, she has extreme trigeminal neuralgiawhich she takes neurontin for and her mobility can be extremely limited. her cognitive abilities also decrease when she has an exacerbation of the ms. she's currently on rebiff for the ms but the price is ungodly. we are receiving some assistance from the drug company but it still has a large out of pocket cost.

anyway, we have no family support from either side of the family and i am the one who takes care of her when she's sick. there have been times when i have been gone for a few hours and id come back and she would be lying on the floor because she collapsed. but there are times when she's doing really well and can walk quite a bit. you just never know what its going to be due to the nature of ms.

the traveling concerned me so much because she wasnt able to walk at times and so on. so my health got even worse to the point i couldn't get on the plane because of panic attacks. i'm not sure if it was the accounting work or me worrying about her being at home or both things, but my health got bad.

i was considered disabled for a while because of the anxiety. the doctor diagnosed panic anxiety disorder and i went through some counseling but it didn't help much. the medications didn't seem to help much either. it only got worse the more i sat at home focusing on our medical bills. i did start feeling better after starting to exercise again and gradually trying to get back into regular life. i tried doing my own business from home thinking it might be better than trying to get back into accounting. we had little money and the business didn't work out very well. not that another business wouldn't work out but this idea just didn't do well.

a friend of mine from church works in the er as an rn and he said maybe it might be worth a try to look at nursing. he seemed to enjoy the work so i thought maybe i could give it a try.

i sought the help of vocational rehabilitation to help me get back into the workplace. they did a whole bunch of career testing and personality testing. well im not sure if i read into the tests so much that i got the answers i thought i wanted but it all pointed to nursing as a good career idea. i signed up for nursing school and got accepted a while back. i had all prerequisites done except for a&p 2. i took that in an 8 week session and it was a challenge. to be honest i didn't enjoy the class. the subject matter was so crammed and it was just a memorization class. the teacher was awesome considering he had to cram 16 weeks of material into an 8 week format. it concerned me though because i thought if i didnt care for the class, nursing school may not be any better. i thought i might be better able to help my wife if i get a better understanding of what the nurses have done to help her and maybe i might be of more help in the future. i know her health is more likely to get worse as to getting better so i'm trying to be realistic. we have had so many things go screwy; we just have to be somewhat realistic.

we are struggling with not only medical bills but our regular monthly expenses as well. i have been trying to get a part time job in a hospital but no luck. the hospitals here need rn's and have a surplus of nurse assistants or patient care techs. there was even a waitlist for shadowing an rn.

i wanted to see if this is the right way to go before committing to nursing school and we desperately need the money. it's sort of scary but i realize some people just aren't cut out to be nurses. unfortunately, the next time to be able to get back into nursing school would be august 2005. with the way the school runs, id be able to have my asn by december 2005. i'll need to work at least part time during school so i am in the process of trying to find some sort of work.

this question is directed to people who have pretty much "done life" or been through life's turmoil or even some turmoil. would becoming a nurses assistant or patient care tech give me an accurate idea if im headed in the right direction? unfortunately, even if this might be the path to follow, the job may not even be there. am i kidding myself to think i can make it through something im not even sure of. does that even make sense? i mean my wife depends upon me big-time and i don't want to let her down by this being another bad decision.

anyway, thanks for listening.

[RedSox33RN]

God bless you. What an ordeal.

I think becoming a CNA or tech would be a great way to get your foot in the door and see what healthcare is all about. With any luck, you would find a good mentor nurse who would take the time to show you about the job, the skills and everything else that goes along with it. I also have a friend that was a unit secretary for many years on a Med-Surg unit at a local hospital, while going to school very part-time to get her RN. She learned SO MUCH from doing that. I'll bet with your degree in accounting that you could get a job easily as a unit sec or support personnel.

Best of luck to you!

[LouisianaNurse2006]

Wow, my heart goes out to you and your wife and family.

You sound like a wonderful, caring husband.

You have ALOT to consider... but if you do go thru the nursing program and make it, not only would your income be better, but also your ability to care for your wife in the future.

I have no idea what advice I could give, I don't even start in the program until next week. If you and your wife have discussed it and you both believe this is the right path, then go for it, if it doesn't work out, at least you tried!

I read on here that if God leads you to it, he'll lead you through it,

so I say....... Go for it!

Good Luck!

[BrwnEyedNurs]

I know what you are going through, I am in a similar situation myself. I recently graduated with a BS in accounting and started nursing classes this summer. I also have very high medical costs due to type I diabetes which I manage with the insulin pump. Additionally I am going through a divorce which has been very painful for me. I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand how frusterating it is and sometimes I don't know how I am going to make it through the next two years but I just try to take it one day at a time in other words "worry about today and tomorrow will take care of itself."

Good Luck and Best Wishes to you!

[lcs4cats]

I know this doesnt seem like much help but Im going to pray that you find the right path. Stay strong.

[mariedoreen]

It sounds like you're second guessing your decision to be a nurse because you didn't enjoy the A&P class... I'm not sure I'd give that a whole lot of weight. Yes, experience as a nurses aid would give you a better idea of what the profession is like, BUT I'm not sure it would be fair to say that just because you don't like working as a CNA, you therefore would not like working as an RN either.. they are after all two positions with different opportunities and different responsibilities. To be honest I'm not sure you or any of us are really going to know if we truly love the profession until we truly get into the profession... It's actually a leap of faith for a lot of us. The one positive about having an RN however is that there are a vast number of directions employment wise that you can go with it. ER, OR, ICU, life flight, OB, med-surg, Oncology, School nursing, Home Health, Dr's Offices, Community Health, Teaching... my goodness the list is huge. I'd be hard pressed to name another career that can provide so much diversity, so much opportunity for the same degree.

[Dixiedi1]

A&P will always be used in your day to day life as a nurse, however, it is close to the most boring of classes.

When you get going in nursing classses they will be a lot more interesting. Very demanding, but always very interesting. There will still be memorization but more critical thinking, you will use all your entire brain (well the few % humans use) and not just a couple of synapsis' to memorize with. (yea, I know that doesn't make perfect sense but the idea I am trying to stress is there I think.)

It will be a rough road for you but, Unfortunately I am afraid any road will. Wish the best for you and your wife.