I am sure this has been done before, but I just spent the past 3 days in a row listening and being completely annoyed with patients coming in through triage. Anyway, this thread is just for triage "rules / rants.":banghead:
1. At the end of the 3 days, if I heard "It's in your computer / files" one more time-I was going to start screaming and then need a pysch consult.
2. Everyone (of course) said "My doctor told me to come here."
3. And the urgent care / immediate care centers, etc sending patients in and then they are expecting to have an ER bed all ready for them--because "that doctor called and said I was on my way and I'm really sick." And then, of course, their paper from these places are just so retarded..The doc writing diagnosis without even doing any sort of test. Do they have a magical / crystal ball?!
4. And I can not understand why patients drive hours (passing several hospitals) to my hospital for stupid s*#t! I guess for pain meds....All of the hospitals you passed probably know you all too well.
5. A ton of toothaches-- Guess all they really want is pain meds--Because there is an open dental clinic walk-in 24/7 which I told them about and still want to see an ER doctor. And then coming to the triage desk a million times complaining that people were going ahead of them.
6. Drama Queens...Enough said
7. Drug Seekers...ARGH!
8.The people taking a million meds, but "I don't have any medical history. I'm healthy."
9. Chief complaint going on for months, years, and even just 15 minutes.
10. Six million people in the TINY triage room--all have to add in their 2 cents and answer all at the same time when I ask the patient a question and all of them have different answers. Everyone was quickly removed from the room.
11. And WHY do parents not give tylenol / motrin for fevers? Or not give the kids neb treatments PTA?
12. And "I need a prescription" for any OTC med
13. "Name dropping" I really don't give a crap who you know..because usually if you really know that person, a bed would have been blocked for you.
14. And if you curse at me, complain, etc don't think I will even begin to triage you until you chill out...or if you continue to complain after being triaged. I have the power to make "theraputic" waits.
15. The nurses in the back complaining that the triage position is soooo easy-you sit around and do nothing. REALLY???!!! I have 25 patients in the lobby and I'm the only nurse (but with a GREAT tech). I bet I can tell you everything about each of those patients and then some. Don't think I just sit and do nothing. And you probably don't even know your own patients and sit around talking and eating while I'm running around putting patients in rooms.
16. If you are fat and lay down on the floor (drama queen)-do not think I will pick you up.
17. People coming in asking for wheelchairs and help getting whomever out of the car-How did they get in there the first time.
18. If you are so sick, then why is your hair and makeup done so perfectly?!
19. Why do you have disability or whatever "medicaid"? You look fine enough to work somewhere.
20. Ladies-It is time to close those legs and quit popping out babies so you can have a free ride on everything. "I don't have money" excuse to old and I don't care. You have a cell phone, a coach purse, etc.
21. Don't tell me you don't smoke when I feel like I just smoked an entire box just by being in the room with you for 2 seconds.
22. AND BEST OF ALL...ALL THAT DRAMA GETS YOU NO WHERE....I HAVE THE CONTROL ON WHO GOES BACK IN THE ORDER THAT FITS.
I'm sure I can think of more, but I really needed to vent to people that would understand! Sorry for typos / spelling. I'm so tired 
but can't sleep. Maybe now, after ranting, I can.
Thanks...and please feel free to add-on. I'm so shocked that some people even make it in this world.....
Courtney
Lurksalot, BSN, RN
236 Posts
No, you are not wrong. I once had a patient who came in eating fries from a bag of mcdonald's who stated that he had 10/10 pain as he smiled and giggled at my question. I said "No, sir, I do not think you understand what I am asking. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being none and 10 is me ripping your arm off and smacking you in the head with it, what would you say your pain is as you sit in front of me right now?"
He said: Okay, I guess it's a 9.