Touchy, Feely Family Members

[analiezel]

I currently work in a critical care setting where open visitations have been implemented.

This week, I had this very sick patient, was on CVVH and had total of 12 drips. And bec. of open visitations, family was more than welcome to come in just about anytime they wanted.

I understand that these situations are really stressful on family members but my question is, what do you do when your family members constantly want to touch YOU, the nurse. The wife wanted to hold your hand, stroke your arm while you gave her updates, or hug , put her arm around your shoulder and even NUZZLE your neck. Things can get very emotional and sometime to protect yourself as the nurse you try to maintain your distance but how can you in this situation. I offered to call the chaplain and other hospital resources but they say they are not interested to see these people.

what would you do?

[RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN]

What an excellent question, and very difficult position to be in.

I am interested to know as well. :)

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

Is this just one member of the family or is it the entire family? Personally I would pass the buck upwards and practice those body language stances that say "I am not to be touched".

[mattsmom81]

Unless I was extremely uncomfortable, I would likely just take it as a very physically expressive family trying to deal with the situation. Not everybody is comfortable with this physical closeness with strangers however.

Perhaps by body language you might show the touch is uncomfortable for you? if you're very assertive you might just come out and say it 'I'm sorry but this is uncomfortable for me..please try and understand'.

[bellehill, RN]

I would assume "the stance" and maintain distance, especially if you have offered emothional support through other outlets. If it is one family member you could pull them aside and tell them you are uncomfortable, if it is the whole family that is probably their way to deal with stress. Personally I am not a touchy-feely person, this situation would drive me over the edge. It is an intersting situation.

[ann86]

What an excellent question, and very difficult position to be in.

I am interested to know as well. :)

What I usually do is , when the family enters the unit towards the room, I let the family members enters first then I proceed behind them and stand to the opposite side of the bed, or chair if room permits. During discussion regarding the patient with the family members I stand 2 feet away while conversing face to face. If the patient prognosis is poor, I call in the chaplain, and spend extra time with the family members before the chaplain arrives. The ICU and the CCU are very personalized units whereas the nurses and family members are caught up in an emotional rollercoster at any given time, therefore it takes a special specialized nurse to interact with the patient and family members, because it is not only the family members who are touchy and feely, sometimes its the patient.