Totally stupid, but could use some help

Music in My Heart · Sep 27, 2007

I'm pretty hard on myself and have very high expectations.

I try not to worry so much about the grades and work toward mastery of the material -- the grades have followed suit.

On the occasions where my test performance hasn't been up to snuff, I've delved into it to determine the root cause of my poor performance and work harder to elevate my performance next time. A B+ can be offset with a 100% to get you back into the A range.

It's good for you experience a poor grade in order to provide you motivation to continue to excel. Many people try to diminish the importance of grades. I, however, consider grades to be very, very important. They are not sufficient of themselves but they are a critical component of the complete package.

Don't comfort yourself by saying "well, the average was a D" but instead figure out why your performance slipped and then kick butt on your next exam.

catzy5 · Sep 27, 2007

Okay, I know this is going to sound stupid. I had my first micro exam on Tuesday. She tests differently than I have experienced before, but it's supposed to help get us used to what we'll encounter in nursing school. I studied hard, and thought I knew the material. Maybe I should have studied harder.
She posted the grades last night and I got a B+. It puts me at *barely* an A- in the class right now. I have not had less than an A on anything, test or otherwise, since I returned to school in 2005. (I've been taking a class or two at a time so I can maximize time at home with my kids.) I know that may sound arrogant and I truly don't mean it that way. I've just worked very, very hard to get good grades because I knew that was the only way I would have a shot at receiving any scholarships. (My husband makes *just* enough that I don't qualify for financial aid.) I also wanted to be able to show that my previous record in school was not who I am now. (I had a 3.something when I was in school in 96/97, but also ended up having several W's on my record because I had to drop out when I became pregnant with my daughter and had complications.) This is really important to me.
Anyway, I know logically it shouldn't bother me, especially given that the average grade was a D, but it does. Is anyone else hard on themselves about things like that? How do you get past that? I'm going to end up driving myself crazy if I don't change this.
Tiffany

Hi Tiffany,

Yes that sort of thing bothers me too! I got my first B yesterday too, in a communications class I was livid. He just randomly grades I don't even know what I got marked off on.

As far as the micro goes, go talk to your teacher, unless you know already where you went wrong or how you could study better. Some classes are just so much harder then others, hopefully one B isn't going to bring your whole grade down your likely to be able to make it up on the next test, lab assignments etc...Mirco certainly took a lot more studying then my other classes combined.

As far as sounding arrogant about staying home with your kids, not at all!! they grow so fast and you only get one shot, take all the time you need! I started back in 2004, one class at time while my youngest two started Kindergarten, I waited 7 years till they were all in school before even begining and even now still I take it classes during their class time and work around their schedule. Its actually one of my main reasons for going into nursing, once I get through school I will have many options for a flexible schedule so I can still be home with my kids.

fmrnicumom · Sep 27, 2007

For me, an A means I learned the material. I'm not going for the grade per se, but striving to learn what I need to know to succeed in the future. I am going to have people's lives in my hands. I will not give them anything less than my best, and my best means I need to know the material, and knowing the material means I should have gotten an A. I'll have to take a look at what I missed and go from there.

Thanks,

Tiffany

Music in My Heart · Sep 27, 2007

Tiffany, I think you're right on the money with your approach. Keep it up and you'll do fine.

Besides, let's be honest: It just feels so good to see that string of A's. It's nice to get some strokes for working so hard, too.

sddlnscp · Sep 27, 2007

Hi Tiffany, I totally feel your pain! I am a second-year nursing student in an ADN program and it has been very hard for me to swallow my pride and get a few B's. I got straight-A's in all of my pre-reqs and in many nursing classes, but I do have some that I got B's in and I thought I would die with the first one.

I don't think there is any way to shut off that part of your brain, but the good news is that getting those grades and expecting the best out of ourself makes us strive for excellence. With every B, I try a little harder next time! I also review the material and try to make it sink in more fully. Hopefully you will never lose that drive and will keep it when you are working as a nurse - striving to do your best is a good thing! So even if you don't get the grade that you want, stop and smile at yourself that you care enough to want more and to want to do better! That will serve you well!

Good luck! Enjoy the journey!

happydays352 · Sep 27, 2007

The same exact thing happened to me on my micro exam. I was so bummed out because I really thought I had nailed it. Just dumb mistakes grrr. Just remember you can still get an A in the class, easily and that's what you'll take away with you.

Plus now you know what the tests are like, it's so much easier after the first one!

chnc1024, ASN · Sep 27, 2007

I know exactly how you feel! I got a 94 on a test the other day, and I was actually upset because it wasn't a 100! I tried to tell myself that I wasn't going to freak out about getting a 4.0, but I was going to make it my goal. And while I'm still in that range, I keep finding myself getting angry, and upset when I miss even one question saying "I should have known that!" or something similar. But I think the idea is to try to remember that we are only people, and perfection is out of our scope of capability, no mater how badly we wish it were not so! Just find what your problems were on your test, learn why your answers were wrong, and apply it to your next test. Good news for us over acheivers mistakes drive us so crazy, that it we almost never miss the same type of quesitons more than once!

Try not to be too hard on youself, a 'B+' is still a really good grade!

Have a Great Day!

Chancie

fmrnicumom · Sep 28, 2007

Chancie, I definitely understand that. I do that too. This time of course I really wanted a 100, but given that I got a B for the first time, all I could think was that I really wanted an A. lol Good for you for getting a 94!

After getting our tests back last night, I can see part of it is that I haven't had a test like that before. Now I know what to expect, so the next one should (hopefully!) be better. I can also see that I would benefit by becoming more disciplined about studying. (Duh, right? lol) With my kids, I've been taking a moment here, a moment there wherever and whenever I could find them. I've had long periods of dedicated time, too, but more than half of my work has been a little at a time throughout the day.

I usually get up and make my husband's lunch at 5, then lay back down for a bit before my daughter goes to school. Now I'm going to get up and study for a few hours. Then, at night after my son goes to sleep, I'll study then. If I have a chance to do some work during the day, I will, but I think I need the uninterrupted study.

Thanks again! :)

Tiffany

chnc1024, ASN · Sep 28, 2007

Thanks!

I have 2 small children so I also know what it's like to have to try and fit studing in to the little bits of open time we moms have! My son will be 1 year old next friday, and my daughter is 3, so I'm hoping that soon their nap schedules will soon merge and I can have at least an hour of uninterupted study time. Just do be sure to give yourself some breaks in studing, It's much easier to stay focused on the material (at least for me) when I'm able to get up and do something else even if it's just to turn on the dishwasher, vacuum, or put a load of laundry on. It seems like just having that little break gives my brain a bit of a recharge.

Just don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure you'll make an 'A' on your next test now that you have an idea as to what to expect!

Have a Great Day!

Chancie

fmrnicumom · Sep 28, 2007

Chancie, it is tough at times to get it in with kids. I don't want that to be an excuse though, because everyone has their own story, everyone has things they have to deal with and overcome. I give you credit though, my daughter is 9 so she's not as much of a handful as my son. If I had two 3 and under, I think it would be much harder. My son was premature and has developmental delays for which he has all sorts of therapy appointments, so that makes it a little more challenging than some 2 year olds. The toughest thing is I often can't tell if he understands or not. He's almost 32 months and up until a few months ago was not talking at all. He has made a TON of progress but communication is still difficult. I'm thrilled with how far he's come though! When are you hoping to start clinicals or have you already?

He just fell asleep so I'm going to go study. :)

Tiffany

AtomicWoman · Sep 29, 2007

Anyway, I know logically it shouldn't bother me, especially given that the average grade was a D, but it does. Is anyone else hard on themselves about things like that? How do you get past that? I'm going to end up driving myself crazy if I don't change this.
Tiffany

Tiffany, when you start to beat yourself up -- STOP! Ask yourself, "Is this the way I want to spend my precious energy?" Always, always, strive for the best you can do. And if it isn't perfect, or an A? Move on. Do the best you can next time.

I'm lucky. I was always a straight-A student. Then I went to grad school, with some of the cruelest professors on the planet. I had one statistics professor who delighted in taking us all down a peg or two, or three or 20... On our first test, the AVERAGE grade was a 6 out of 100. Yes, the average grade was a 6. I got a 2. The whole semester went like that (believe it or not, I passed the course because he liked the way I wrote-up homework assignments.) I had more professors exactly like him throughout the year. By the end of my first year of grad school, I was TOTALLY inoculated against worrying about grades. There was no point in it! My friends were all in the same boat and to this day, we laugh our pants off when we talk about grad school.

My point is this: at some point, I realized that all I could do was my best. And if that didn't garner me an A, so be it. I moved on. Now that I am back in school, I am a lot more laid-back about grades. I'm making As again, but I don't worry about it. My energy is better spent learning as much as I can, exploring ideas, etc.

I feel sorry for some of my fellow pre-nursing students who are literally crying when they don't get an A. I understand that the nursing program fosters this attitude when they try to scare the heck out of every potential student, but ultimately, it's not good for your health to be stressed out about a grade. So I hope you will take a deep breath, step back a moment and admire all that is wonderful about you, and keep your eyes looking forward!