To the single parent night shifters

Published

I just seen a thread posted about this, but what I'm typing in regards to is a somewhat different situation.

I am a single parent getting full custody of my son back this summer. (I was a very young teen mom.) The thing is that I work nights. When school is in, everything should work out ok. (My son will be in second grade.) I'll go to work, have a babysitter for him during the night, and he'll be in school the next morning and I'll sleep when he sleeps.

My problem arises when it comes to the summer. I plan on getting him this summer so that he can get used to the living situation here. (FYI: I've gotten him every weekend the past 4 yrs of school, so he's already somewhat used to it). So in the summer, I'll have a night babysitter. But then I get off work the next morning, pick him up, and.... When will I sleep??

I've thought about seeing if the babysitter will keep him longer or having 2 sitters, but then that defeats the purpose of having him move in early so he can adjust to living here with me. He can't get used to it if he's with a babysitter 19 or so hrs of the day. By the way, I also live in a relatively new area and my old home is a couple hours away. So I don't have many friends or any family nearby to help out.

I know what I really need is a day position, so I can sleep while he sleeps. But that isn't an option right now on my unit. I've even thought about trying to find a new job, but I really really would rather not do so. This is my first job a new RN, and I've only been there for 4 months. Leaving means that I'd lose my loan payback money. And it means I'd risk getting a new job somewhere where I don't like, b/c I absolutely love the ppl where I'm at. They're great w/ new grads. I'm also on a CCU and I want to stay w/ intensive care. So if I go somewhere else, I might not get as good of an orientation since I'm technically no longer a new grad according to their rules and whatnot.

I know I can't have it all. But I don't know what to give up. Or if I have to give up anything at all to make it work.

So I'm coming to you guys... Please help. Any other suggestions? Or opinions to my thoughts?

Thanks in advance.

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I sort of know what ur going through Ive been asking question like this here a couple of times. A few people told me that working per diem was an option or just getting day care or cut your hours so ur child wont be with the babysitter too long. I will be going thu the same when i graduate pm me if u find a solution it would help me Good Luck!

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You could sign him up for summer camp, it doesn't have to be overnight. Ask his school about them. That way he'll be with other kids/friends during the day having fun. There are lots of activities for children during the summer. Even some kind of sports program would be good. Talk to other parents and find out what their children usually do in the summer while they are at work. Check out the ywca they always have summer programs.

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Have you considered eventually finding a roomate? Maybe another single mom? Just a thought. Congratulations on getting your son and also on finishing nursing school

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Specializes in jack of all trades.
You could sign him up for summer camp, it doesn't have to be overnight. Ask his school about them. That way he'll be with other kids/friends during the day having fun. There are lots of activities for children during the summer. Even some kind of sports program would be good. Talk to other parents and find out what their children usually do in the summer while they are at work. Check out the ywca they always have summer programs.

I used this for years as I was also a single parent with 2 boys. There was almost 8 years difference in age so I had to seek out different care for both during the summer months. Check with your local recreational depts and the schools as most do have summer programs set up for working parents. The one I used took the kids on age appropriate field trips and lots of activities during the day to keep them very occupied with alot of learning also. It was only about $45.00 a week per child also which was much less then a sitter and a GODSEND for me working nights. Of course I had to pay extra for some of the trips like Universal studios and such but well worth it. Also you may want to seek out if there is "sick" child care in your area for those days you cant take off for a simple cold or such. Cost a little more but well worth it. The one I had used was owned by an RN and staffed by her and another LPN with teachers aides to help out. I never felt guilty for leaving him when it was a low grade fever or cough just to work out my shift as I really couldnt afford to be off during those times as I knew he was in good hands with them. Eventually I found an Baylor plan that allowed me to work weekends only and was off to get them to school and home when they were. Of course I didnt see them much on weekends but they were so involved in weekend activities they didnt miss me much lol. It worked well and I have 2 grown well-adjusted young men for sons now and they have let me know time and time again they appreciate the sacrifices made to ensure thier happiness and well being.

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Specializes in Rural Health.

Check with local churches, YMCA's or any place that might offer day camps. Also - will the school be offering summer school? Ours does for 6 weeks during the summer....doesn't solve the entire summer issue but would help out somewhat.

What about neighbors? Do they have children your age? Could you trade out babysitting with them? Have you thought about placing an ad for a summertime babysitter (aka, responsible teenager) that could come and stay during the days you need to sleep?

Another single mom? A support group for single parents? A roomate with kids?

Our area has a support group for 24/7 workers and they co-op out the babysitting needs.

Does your facility offer daycare?

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Specializes in Telemetry/CCU/Home Health.

In my opinion, the use of a day camp is your best option because then you know you have a reliable place that will always be there for you when you need it. I am sort of facing this situation when I start in July, and the thought of a sitter scares me cause what if they don't show or are late? What do you do then? Also, it seems better for your son to at least have socialization and fun activities to do if he needs to be cared for by someone other than you. It will probably be harder for you than for him...:lol2:

I am assuming you work 12 hour shifts, so at least you will have 4 days a week where you can focus on him. Good luck and I hope you find peace with this situation...

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I totally agree with those who have suggested day camp programs.

Good luck!

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Thanks everyone for the advice!

One of my concerns about the day programs is the cost. B/c I already have a babysitter I'll be paying for to watch him overnight. After the cost of an attorney and other various things to get him back, I'll be sort crunched for money :o . But yeah, I definitely can check into a few things to see what I might be able to get by with.

And also really concerned about not having enough time w/ him to set up a routine and structure. Yeah, I have 4 days off/week but he'll be gone weekends too. So if I work 3 and he's gone 2 more, that leaves me only 2 full days with him. It wouldn't be as bad if he had discipline and rules and structure where he's lived the past couple years, but I won't go any further into that.

I've noticed no one has mentioned anything about trying to find a new job w/ a day position?

Anyways, thanks again for all your advice and if anything, this lets me get some of it off my chest :)

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Specializes in Day Surgery/Infusion/ED.

???

Well, you said day shift wasn't an option where you work and you didn't want to get another job. That's probably why no one mentioned it.

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I realize this is an older posting, but just to through it in for anyone reading. Why not work the weekends that he is going to be gone and one other day during the week. Say for instances Fri, Sat, Sun or Sat, Sun, Mon. This would dramatically decrease your cost for a night time babysitter and then only have to worry about finding someone to keep him during the day say on Mon when you could just sleep part of the day and return to normal sleep cycle until the following weekend. Many places will allow you to work every weekend if you volunteer to do so, obviously alot of people don't like working the weekends so this benefits you and them. I also know places have what they refer to as a weekend warrior, that has weekend shift differentials, etc. LOOK INTO THIS OPTION!

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Cardiac, ICU.

Second grade? That means he is about 7. I have a 6 and an 8 year old and I sleep while they watch TV ot color, read, or play. I make breakfast before lying down and also make lunch. They know how to get it from the fridge. I have the alarm on so no one can go out or come in without me knowing it. My kids are fine with this and they know when I will wake up. I try not to have to do it too often, but I do what I have to do. Most days they are in school when I'm asleep and they just ring the doorbell and I let them in when they get off the bus...but by then, I/'m awake anyway.

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