As a nurse, however, I know way TOO much about certain medical procedures, and I wish I didn't. The conversation with my doctor that I've been dreading for months happened this morning: having attained the magic age of 50, I am supposed to have a screening colonoscopy. I refused. He said I was being a baby. I said, I'm walking around in the same body I had three months ago when I was still 49, and nobody was talking colonoscopy then:rolleyes:
Seriously........I can't wait NOT to do this. I've put far too many patients through the prep, and I'm sorry, but starving for two days, consuming a gallon of nuclear laxative solution, plus having nonstop explosive diarrhea is my idea of hell on earth. I don't mind the idea of the actual procedure---I've seen a couple of them done, and I can attest that they give you really good drugs so you don't care that they're running a garden hose up into places you didn't know you had. I have, on the other hand, no desire to be miserable for forty-eight solid hours beforehand WITHOUT the benefit of Versed.......and when you get right down to where the cheese binds, I really don't think I'd want to know if I had some horrible kind of GI cancer.
I've thought about it at some length, and I've made up my mind that I wouldn't do anything about it anyway---oh, I'd allow some surgery, and wear a bag if I had to, but chemo is not an option. Why would I put myself and my family through that, just so I can have a few extra months of throwing up and feeling like something the dog found under the house? Nope, I've lived a good life and done most of what I wanted to, and I'd want my family to remember me the way I am, not somebody who spent their last months in utter misery. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to leave my family in debt. Besides........I'm not experiencing any symptoms. So why in the world should I undertake the hassle and the expense of a colonoscopy?
I think what I'm trying to do here is justify excuses to myself that I would dismiss if it were anyone else. So I'm going to ask: if you were in my place, would YOU have the scope on general principles? There's no other reason for it than the fact that I've reached a certain point on the continuum of life that somehow requires that we go in more often for maintenance. I don't wanna play........but maybe what I'm looking for are some really good reasons to take the time off work, incur expenses not covered by my insurance, and put myself through two days of torture as well as the procedure itself. TIA.
