To Get A Sponsor or Not

[gnurse2089]

Hi all,

So I just submitted my first quarterly report to my CA BON probation monitor. Along with my AA signatures and Nurse Support group signatures, one of the questions it asks is, do you have a sponsor?

This topic came up in my Nurse Support group as well. My support group leader asked me if I planned on getting a sponsor, and I honestly said I didn't want to get one because I don't feel like I'm an alcoholic. I was placed on probation because of a DUI I got when I was 23 years old which I got more because I was being young and stupid then because of a problem I had with alcohol. My medical evaluator for the board even stated he did not agree with the mandatory 6 month outpatient treatment the board ordered me to complete as he didn't feel I met the criteria to enroll in such treatment (As such, I don't have to do this requirement per my monitor). I stopped drinking last November after signing my stipulated settlement, and while there was definitely a hit to my social life, being that I'm in my 20s and surrounded by vineyards and microbreweries, I haven't really been tempted to drink.

Despite this, my group leader still wants me to get a sponsor because, in her words, "It will look good to the boards." Now I have a serious problem with this. I admire groups like AA and NA because I know they can save people's lives, but I feel like to get a sponsor just because it'll look good on paper seems very wrong to me. Not only would it be a waste of my time, but I feel like it would be wasting my sponsor's time, as they could be helping someone who truly needs the help. What do you guys think?

[SororAKS, ADN, RN]

Is it a stipulation on your contract? I ask because even though it is common, it isn't always required. It isn't required on my contract, although once my caseworker tried to tell me it was required. I reminded them that it was not required on my contract, and per the contract terms if it was now required that it had to be specified in writing.

I had issue with it for another reason. I have been clean for 16 years, and signed a monitoring contract as part of the requirements for reinstatement. I've not had any relapses in those years. I did have an NA sponsor early on, but have not had contact with or felt a need for one.

The frustrating thing about the monitoring programs is that they do not take the individual into consideration, nor do the BON's of most states I am familiar with.

[1sttime]

I have a "sponsor", he is my hair guy- and he is in recovery...

The thing about the AA/NA model is anonymity- my sponsor has the right to remain anonymous and that is what I have told the monitoring program. That he believes in these fundamentals.

So go out and find someone who you can talk with= sponsor.

A meeting is when two addicts get together and talk... etc..

Don't follow their definition of your "recovery", just do what you have signed on the contract.

[jdub6]

I also have found that a sponsor is usually not required in the actual contract. However many treatment providers, case managers and AA/NA members will say you are not compliant with a 12 step program without one.

If your agreement mandates "participation" in 12 step programs which it sounds like it does then the question really is, who will have input or be asked for their opinion (most likely a formal report) and who will ultimately decide if you are in compliance and what do they think about this.

Some providers will state that you have attended sessions etc but give an unfavorable opinion on your attitude, prognosis or their perception of your level of compliance if you don't have a sponser (among many other things!). In my program provider reports were required and so was compliance with "a recovery programn"hence if the reports stated you were not doing well or non compliant in their opinion that was a problem even if your contact wasn't as strict as your provider.

Those who were technically compliant but not mainstream AA members had to either search for providers who would help them or go along with the providers opinion.

[nurse_kee77]

Get a sponsor. It saved my life