tips to a successufl ER visit

Nurses Humor

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Hi there folks! Just sitting here in front of the boob tube pondering the things that REALLY help to make a trip to the ER a great experience...

1. Know that when you walk in that we care, just not that much.

2. If you can talk, u can beathe.

3. If you can scream you can breathe really well.

4. If you can scream, swear and hit the staff you can breathe better than most everyone.

5. Every patient deserves some risperdal every once in a while; share with your nurse!

6. Your "need" for water now is not an emergency; have youever not peed in 8 hrs. when youhad togo 3 hrs. ago?

7. Unless you are in trendelenberg, on 5 drips, and on a vent youaren't sick.

8. BRING YOUR SHOES!!! 'nuff said.

9. If you have spent X yrs. not parenting your child, a psych eval is not gonna help.

10. DO NOT get angered with the staff if we parent your child when you do not. The ER is not Roper Room, a playground or a party. The carts are not filled with toys, and it is not my job to "entertain". The staff runs like banshees; not the visitors/patients. Period.

11. Do not allow children to crawl on floors; see #8. Do you have any IDEA what's on the floor?!? I don't even wear my work shoes in MY HOUSE!

12. The ER is not the perfect place to have a family meal.

13. If you scream/swear on the phone, I will hang up.

13. Ifyou scream/swear in person, I will have you removed.

14. Attitude to staff does not equal speed with which we work.

15. Previous medical history/diagnosises do not mean your skin tear is an emergency.

16. I don't care what your neighbor said or who you know.

17. I don't care what you read on the internet.

18. If you have an X hour drive back to the city, and could have been there by now you should have left. Oh, and you would still be in the waiting room tomorrow.

19. You will not dehydrate for not having a drink in 2 hrs., esp. if you have an IV.

20. NO you cannot eat before surgery.

21. NO you cannot eat before going to the GI lab.

22. Taking the O2 mask off will not help you breathe better.

23. SHUT UP and breathe your neb!

24. NO I CAN'T LOOK AT YOUR MOLE!

25. A little blood does not equal instant death, as a lady partsl bleed does not equal hemmorhaging.

26. When you cut yourself with anything, that's what adipose tissue is SUPPOSED to look like.

27. The ER is not a pcp. Go see the guy once in a whie, will ya?

28. But we really do care, HONEST!

Sheila-- you said it, girl! Here has been my experience on different days this past month: three people sick; three people go to local ED- one by car, two by ambulance; three people are sent home from ED; one person returns same night and is sent home again, he returns and dies; one returns one day later and is sent home again-he comes back and dies waiting for someone to assess him; the third person, who had first come in by car, manages to dial 911 from home a few hours after initial discharge from ED, but unfortunately was dead on the floor when the ambulance got there. I wish I could say that these folks were exceptions to the rule, but sadly, they are not-- at least not in my neck of the woods. One of these days it will hit the fan and licenses will be on the line. And may the gods help the elderly ones who happen to show up and get caught in all of that humerous cross fire. I'm sorry, Amy, but honest to gosh, sometimes it just ain't funny.

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Again, as others have said, and probably more eloquent than I, I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE PLACE TO VENT! If I, in my "infinite wisdom" had meant this to be serious, do you really think I would have posted it on the Nursing Humor forum?!? COME ON PEOPLE!!! Obviously, you have not worked in the ER or if you have, I doubt you have stayed there long. Have you ever heard me noodle lash a floor nurse poster for complaining about bell-ringers looking for the 1000th ring prize? I will say however, I have seen my share of full arrests on the ramp that were totally avoidable, and I do not joke about that. YOU WILL NOT, HOWEVER, DIE WITHOUT A PILLOW!!! Thanks to all who saw the humor as intended!!! And to those who didn't, if you DO, by chance, happen to come in my ER, half dead or not, some of the best care you're ever gonna get, in my hospital or any other, is going to come from me.

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Anyone else notice that I am not the only poster in this thread, but the only one to get the "tsk, tsk, tsk"?

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I am a little confused right now why Amy has gotten roasted for a humor thread? We all joke about stuff that would make most non-medical persons stomachs turn, mostly because we see the stuff that would send them running for the hills when people need help. Of course most most of us would not yell at our patients and be out rightly rude to them! Joking about work and the crazy/not so crazy stuff that goes on there is what helps us keep our sanity!

It is the people who are not sick that frustrate me, because sometimes it feels like they take my time away from those who are very sick and really need my time.

Basically, IT WAS A JOKE. If it were framed an posted on the ER entrance door then I think we would have a problem. But, alas it is a humor thread.

LoisJean, so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope everything is ok.

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Amy, I enjoyed your post very much. My husband works ER and I think I've heard every scenerio there could possibly be and then along comes a new one. Thanks for the laughs.

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Sheila, I am soory to hear about your husband. A trip to the ER is never fun for the patient. LoisJean, please feel free to come to our Er here in Sunny Oregon. We don't kill nearly as many patients a week as that. One or two a month tops.

Amy, I work ER. I have worked ICU's as well. That is some funny stuff. Keep it coming and try not to kill too many of your patients with humor. You know it hurts when they laugh:D Gary

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

I would surely hate to think that anyone would hesitate to come here and vent.

I don't think anyone here thinks an MI, or a massive trauma, or a CVA, is funny. Black humor is sometimes our steam escape valve. I don't think Amy, nor anyone else, is a callous uncaring nurse. I think that they really do their best for every patient. I know that I sometimes come out of an exam room rolling my eyes and muttering about chlorine for the gene pool, or charm school valedictorian. I still do the best I can for that patient.

I work in a clinic. I see the ER visit sheets and deal with some of the same patients, so I know what Amy and the other ER nurses are talking about. I just had a discussion with our ER head nurse the other day. He estimated 80-90% of their patients are "clinic" patients. I also know that he, and the other ER nurses who would undoubtedly laugh their heads off at Amy's post, give great care and have helped stabilize and reassure many a MI or other seriously ill patient.

It's far better to get rid of your frustrations and irritation by laughing than by being rude to your patients or their families, or to your fellow staff, or to your family.

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My MI was funny, but mainly because I'm still here!

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originally posted by amy

again, as others have said, and probably more eloquent than i, i thought this was the place to vent! if i, in my "infinite wisdom" had meant this to be serious, do you really think i would have posted it on the nursing humor forum?!? come on people!!! obviously, you have not worked in the er or if you have, i doubt you have stayed there long. have you ever heard me noodle lash a floor nurse poster for complaining about bell-ringers looking for the 1000th ring prize? i will say however, i have seen my share of full arrests on the ramp that were totally avoidable, and i do not joke about that. you will not, however, die without a pillow!!! thanks to all who saw the humor as intended!!! and to those who didn't, if you do, by chance, happen to come in my er, half dead or not, some of the best care you're ever gonna get, in my hospital or any other, is going to come from me.

well l'm sitting here after the absolute worst nite in an er l think l have ever experienced!...maybe a little ptss?...nurses who never have worked er just don't have a clue..and l don't mean thais disparagingly....they just don't....l can't even discuss last nite rationally right now, l carried my clothes home in a bag cause they were covered with loco weed puke....and that was probably the nicest part of my evening.....sooo, l will tell you what l say to the patients/friends/ family members who ask what it is really like to work in er...l say...jerry springer with a few emergencies and sick people thrown in for variety.....and l know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are er's out there that send pple home when they shouldn't and do not give proper care...heck, last night the hospital 2 miles down the road was sending pple to us, turning them away at the door...major cobra violation.....yes it happens.....and on the other hand......how many of these pple show up dead or worse cause they didn't bother to follow up????...we see it alot....just a blank stare when asked....did you f/u w/ pcp/specialist?...of course not...gee that would just make sense now wouldn't it?...thanks for listenin' bout my bad nite....our er nurses rock!......lr

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Originally posted by andylane78

I am a little confused right now why Amy has gotten roasted for a humor thread?

As am I :confused:

No one made fun of an MI or other serious, TRUE emergencies. Perhaps those that aren't in the mood for some nursing humor shouldn't read the NURSING HUMOR THREADS.

Heather

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And I'm sorry to hear about your bad night l.rae. It's nights like that that are the reason why nurses NEED to have a sense of humor about what we do. We'd go crazy otherwise :eek:

Heather

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originally posted by obnurseheather

and i'm sorry to hear about your bad night l.rae. it's nights like that that are the reason why nurses need to have a sense of humor about what we do. we'd go crazy otherwise :eek:

heather

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