Throwing in the towel, and feeling liberated

Nurses Recovery

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Hi all, I would like to start this off by thanking everyone on this board for their continual encouragement and support. In the last few months I have been doing a lot of personal soul searching and have decided the best thing for me to do is surrender my license and go on with my life.

I was placed on probation in May 2016 for a DUI I got four years prior. The last year since then has thrown some major challenges my way. In November 2016, I lost my mom to a ten year battle with ALS. In March, my practice was ceased due to a positive ETG test and in June, I had a four year relationship come to an end. While the monitoring program is obviously not to blame for all of this, it has been an added stress that has nearly broken me several times. I still remember how low I felt the day of my mom's wake when I found myself peeing into a cup in my best suit as I had been selected to test that day.

As such, I have recently been taking stock of what is truly important in my life. I like nursing, and I'm a great nurse, I've got patients that come back to my facility all the time to visit me, awards for my nursing care, and co-workers that still turn to me for answers even now when I legally can't practice. However, when I think of the things I truly love in my life, spending time with my friends and family, traveling, my personal freedom; my job doesn't fall anywhere near the top of the list.

I have recently downsized my apartment, minimized my bills to only what's necessary, and am in the running for a few non-nursing jobs that will allow me to pay my bills and still have some fun money left over. I am also looking into grad programs in bio or chem as clinical research has always been an area that interests me. As soon as I find a new job, I will initiate the license surrender process and not look back.

For the first time in over a year, I am truly excited for what the future holds. There is some fear, but all my life, the people around me have pegged me for success so I know I won't fail. I realize that I am taking the harder road here, but if the last year has taught me anything, its that I have the strength to do it. Would love to hear from others who are no longer in the nursing field and what you did after.

Hey ZahirNP, I actually just interviewed this week for a case management position for the local regional center which provides services to the developmentally disabled population in this area. I had actually interviewed for this same position about 5 months ago, went through the background check and got the offer and had to decline it because of the fact that I had to drive to meetings throughout the county for the job and at the time, my ex didn't have a vehicle so we were using the same car. Now that that's over, I reached out to them asking if they still might have any positions available for me and they called me back for another interview.

If I get the job, which I have a strong feeling I will, I'm planning on initiating the license surrender process. This position is more in the social work realm which is something I've always been interested in.

The pay is definitely not up to par with RN pay, I'll be making close to 10 bucks an hour less than what I'm making now, but the job is closer to home and since it's a county position the benefits are amazing. Not to mention, whatever free money I do have is quickly eaten up by drug testing fees, nurse support group fees, BON fines and the gas I use up driving to testing sites and AA meetings. Not to mention having my free time back to pursue my own interests instead of attending multiple meetings a month is worth the pay cut alone.

In the meantime I'm still working at my SNF as a ward clerk, will have to do something very nice for everyone there when I do leave as they have been so supportive during this whole ordeal.

With your education, I'm sure there's a lot you can do, you just gotta think outside the box.

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Amazing!!!!! I was also looking into that, but with a toddler who actually utilizes those services, I can only do part time. The other part of the time is looking for jibs and attending his therapy sessions needing parent involvement.

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oh thats great! glad to hear you were able to find something so soon; Thanks for the ideas! When they do a background check ..do you have to tell them about your RN probation? Or does it not even apply?

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It never came up and since it's not a nursing position there's no need to tell them. I guess there is a slight chance I may end up on the OIG list for giving up my license, and in that case I would need to tell them, but I plan on fighting tooth and nail if this ever happens as I think it'd be ridiculous to be put on the list for a one time DUI so long ago.

I did let them know I had a previous DUI that had been expunged from my record, however, per HR, it never even showed up when they ran my background since I got it expunged in January.

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You can always check the list at oig.gov

Search the Exclusions Database | Office of Inspector General

So far, I am not. But who knows...

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I also would like to surrender my license and move on. my lawyer is telling me that would be a terrible mistake and I must meet with the board of nursing for their investigation meeting. I have already participated in the HPSP and am not willing to participate in the program. I have been clean for 7 years but have now been accused of using by an unstable practitioner. Is it ok if I simply surrender my license? I am currently a PCA for a close friend. Will my PCA job be in danger?

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I also would like to surrender my license and move on. my lawyer is telling me that would be a terrible mistake and I must meet with the board of nursing for their investigation meeting. I have already participated in the HPSP and am not willing to participate in the program. I have been clean for 7 years but have now been accused of using by an unstable practitioner. Is it ok if I simply surrender my license? I am currently a PCA for a close friend. Will my PCA job be in danger?

Surrendering your license voluntarily is akin to admitting guilt. In the future, every time an application asks the question concerning a professional license you will have to answer that question truthfully and could lose out on opportunities short of having to give an explanation that no one will believe. Take your attorney's advice and at least see what the Board has to say. Don't assume it is a stacked deck and a done deal.

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Honestly, if I had viable career options I would surrender my nursing license and move on with my life. I don't look at this process as anything that resembles recovery in any sense. Rather it is like reporting to an over-zealous probation officer (for those of you old enough think Barney Fife). Anyway I commend your courage to face the unknown instead of tolerating the intolerable. I wish I had your courage. Good Luck!!!

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I would listen to your lawyers advice and then consult with other lawyers and make the best uniformed decision for yourself. Surrendering your license is a form of discipline and can place you on exclusion lists which can make it a nightmare for you to get off ...I would avoid this like a plague because lets say you are in professional school (medicine, dental, etc.) and you need to apply for a license ...your surrendered nursing license may make it impossible for you to obtain your new license because they may want you to have that license reinstated which can take months to years to complete after its surrendered. So before you consider surrendering, research how it will effect your future license. I don't know what a PCA is but if you need a license for it ...then yes this license may be subjected to discipline as well however if no license is needed for it, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Most importantly remember that in an investigation anything you say can be used against you in court, so before you agree to such an investigation make sure you have all the evidence/paperwork in front of you.

If you have been clean for 7 years I personally wouldn't surrender because of some false accusation. FIGHT.

You have a better career option in front of you also so you're in a good position. All you need to do is to make sure you stay off of national exclusion lists so I don't recommend surrendering at all. Good luck! What are you doing HPSP for?! (Im assuming this is the Health Professions Scholarships Program?) I wish I was you....I want out! lol

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I agree with you 100 percent. I have been through this health professionals service program. I called every day and got drug tested when my color came up. I paid 60 dollars for each test. I put up with all the snide remarks and looks that I got from the nurses testing me. I paid 260.00 an hour to see a psychiatrist every month. I had to see a doctor every quarter who reassured the program that I was clean. I paid for that too. My sponsor and my boss signed quarterly paperwork attesting that I seemed to be ok. I made sure all paperwork was handed in. I asked permission to go out try of town and when I returned home I faithfully got drug tested again. I absolutely refuse to do this again. Life is too short and I will not spend 500.00 a month to keep my nursing license. Also I will not be subjected to testing every time a crazy ex husband and his crazy ex girlfriend excuse be of something I am not doing. When does it stop??? I am try to old for this crap!! I dont even want to be a nurse anymore- I am sick of it all. I am still talking with this lawyer who I had to pay 5000.00 dollars for- she told me to expect that the fee will go up and I will probably have to pay 2- 4 thousands dollars to be evaluated b yu a medical professional to say that i am not in drugs. My advice to a nurse who is struggling with depression or substance abuse--'dont tell anyone and God forbid don't ever get any professional help for any problems because if the board of nsg finds out, you will be monitored and it is a pain in the butt. God help us all!! Also for any of those people who have not been through it- don't pretend to understand what it is like or give advice. You don't understand what it is like and you never will unless you have been through it.

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Health professional service program- It is as monitoring program for medical professionaksvwho have mental illness or a history of substance use.

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Believe me it is a done deal. HPSP has already called me requesting that I sign up for the program again.

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