Thinking of quitting with only 4 months to go because of clinical anxiety

Diane M · Mar 5, 2005

You have gotten great advice above. I can't add to that.
What I would suggest is that, if the above measures don't work, see if you can get a Leave of Absence from the program for a few months. In that time, work as an aide in the hospital. You will gain a lot of experience in just being in the environment, interacting with pt's, other nurses, docs, and you will absorb info by osmosis, but not have the clinical pressure. yes, you will have your own pressures as an aide, but not the same level of fear as nurses I think.
If, by working as an aide, you are still feeling very nervous, and hate the experience, you can save yourself the additional grief.
Good luck to you. Let us know how it works out.

Hoolahan - actually, one of my classmates suggested the same thing. I don't know if all LPN programs do this, but in ours, you get your CNA license in the second month of the program as part of the course. (I call it my $8500 CNA license :chuckle ). She suggested that I take a leave and do CNA work to get a rhythm and a routine going with my hands-on patient care to help with my time management problem. I thought about it, but the thought of having God knows how many patients assigned to me as a CNA is equally frightening! It is something I will consider, though. Thanks!

hcmanp, NP · Mar 5, 2005

I got through most of my classes by remembering my mantra, "you can do anything for 8 weeks" (the length of most half semesters.) Maybe you could break it down into smaller milestones than 4 months, like weekly, or as some prefer, "one day at a time"

Diane M · Mar 5, 2005

I got through most of my classes by remembering my mantra, "you can do anything for 8 weeks" (the length of most half semesters.) Maybe you could break it down into smaller milestones than 4 months, like weekly, or as some prefer, "one day at a time"

It's funny that you say this. I remember telling my daughter when she hated her freshman year at college sharing an apartment with three other people who were slobs, "sweetie, you can do anything for nine months". I've promised myself I will never say those words to anyone again ---- but I do try to convince MYSELF that I can do anything for 4 months (I just don't believe myself). And yes, I am definitely taking it one day at a time. If I think too far ahead, I really freak out.

hcmanp, NP · Mar 5, 2005

babe, if you can't believe yourself, who can you believe?

Anyway, I always heard you should always say sweet words, because some day you may have to eat them (hee hee)

goddess66 · Mar 6, 2005

Goddess66, I think the biggist part is the clinicial instructor breathing down my neck. I know he/she has to be there, but I can't help feeling that I would function so much better if I could just be turned loose, or if I could shaddow an experienced nurse for a shift to see how she manages her time. I've requested that, but of course, it just isn't done. Thanks for your reply!

Hey Diane- If your program is like mine, you are probably wrapping up the med-surg piece of the program. Med-surg was killer, and I'm so glad we got through it. I just started in maternity, L&D, and peds today. I have no experience with infants or peds, I work in LTC. I was so anxious! Diane, it was wonderful! One of my classmates got to see a delivery, and I watched a nurse give a Hep B vaccine to a 3-day old. It's all learning and getting through those dreaded firsts. I learned how to swaddle today, and I look forward to tomorrow, when I do my first assessment of a mom and newborn :) These CI's ARE a nightmare, but, someday they won't be there and we'll build that confidence. The last piece of my program is community nursing, shadowing a nurse and really getting a feel for what it's all about.My family's suffered too. Nursing school is the HARDEST thing I've ever undertaken, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We're almost there, and it is worth it. Just keep plugging, you are not alone.

Diane M · Mar 6, 2005

Hey Diane- If your program is like mine, you are probably wrapping up the med-surg piece of the program. Med-surg was killer, and I'm so glad we got through it. I just started in maternity, L&D, and peds today. I have no experience with infants or peds, I work in LTC. I was so anxious! Diane, it was wonderful! One of my classmates got to see a delivery, and I watched a nurse give a Hep B vaccine to a 3-day old. It's all learning and getting through those dreaded firsts. I learned how to swaddle today, and I look forward to tomorrow, when I do my first assessment of a mom and newborn :) These CI's ARE a nightmare, but, someday they won't be there and we'll build that confidence. The last piece of my program is community nursing, shadowing a nurse and really getting a feel for what it's all about.My family's suffered too. Nursing school is the HARDEST thing I've ever undertaken, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We're almost there, and it is worth it. Just keep plugging, you are not alone.

Yes, we're almost done with med-surg. It was interrupted by a 3-week stint in Oncology which everyone fretted over but it was my favorite part, since I want to do Hospice care. We too will be starting OB in about 3 weeks and I am really looking forward to it. I'm hoping that'll be enough of a positive influence to make me keep on keepin' on.

I WILL keep plugging. Thank you, all of you, for your kind words and support. My husband and kids can give me sympathy but unless a person knows what it's really like (like all you guys), they really just cannot imagine the stress of it. Meanwhile, thank God for Xanax and Prozac.

Sierralee · Mar 8, 2005

Remember one thing, You are the student. You are learning. This is not your paying job. Slow down, think, stay organized. Keep a small notebook in your pockets regarding the floor, where things are, what you need to do. Everyone started new sometime in their life. Just absorb what is going on around you. Good Luck.

RENAISSANCE RN · Mar 9, 2005

*

stevenking, BSN, LPN, RN, EMT-B · Mar 9, 2005

Marcia, I think the reason I am so anxious is that I'm a perfectionist. I was top notch in my 28-year career as a legal assistant to a trial lawyer, very detail oriented and saved my boss's butt many times. I hate feeling so incompetent now. I really come down hard on myself and am not forgiving of myself at all. My biggest problem is time management. It's just my style - I go slow until I feel really comfortable with what I'm doing, but this program isn't going to wait for me to speed up, as we all know. My CI is constantly breathing down my neck.

As a life time perfectionist and LPN, I understand the feeling of "being overwhelmed" especially when trying to "put it all together". Don't worry - each of us experienced this, at one time or another, and learned how to navigate it based on our own style. Your real experience in the field will be nothing like what you're going through right now. My advice: hang in there - revisit the passion which brought you to the field in the first place (which we see in your next paragraph...)

As to whether nursing is for me or not? I LOVE working with the patients, they're my favorite part of it all. That's not where the anxiety comes from. However, the anxiety from clinicals has made me question whether I could work in a hospital setting and I now feel maybe I would be calmer working in a doc's office ...... BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I WANTED TO BE A NURSE! My goal was to do in-home Hospice nursing, but I'm told they usually want you to have at least a year of hospital experience before you can do that. If I'm going to settle for a doc's office where I basically do height, weight, temp and BP, I might as well go back to my old career and fulfull my need to help others by doing volunteer work where I can spend as much time as I like at the patient's bedside.

The experience gleaned in the hospital setting will be invaluable for the largely autonomous life of the in-home hospice nurse. Yet, as you've mentioned...that is "usually" what is required. Depending on what agency (etc) you end up working for - you might jump right into doing exactly what you want all along.

So "why" can clinicals be so...well, frustrating? Remember, instructors only have a short period of time to "introduce" you to some aspects of the job - so "baptism by fire" seems to be the plumb line. New nurses agree - it's getting the "timing" down in time management that is the hard part.

You'll see all kinds of "bad" reactions to time management issues. For the love of charting, so can write up assessments without *even* going into their patient's rooms (never quite figured that one out). I think you'll do fine - your legal background will ensure that you bring astute critical thinking skills to nursing.

Hang in there and enjoy the ride...the best is yet to come.

Affectionately,

The Kingster

Diane M · Mar 9, 2005

Thanks, all, for your input. I have now taken a leave of absence. I am definitely out of the full time program. My father-in-law had a heart attack this week and my absence to go visit him in Pittsburgh from upstate NY will cost me my place in that class. But that was a no-brainer. Family comes first.

The day after my FIL's heart attack, I attended clinical and just lost it. Gave all my equipment away to my classmates (a great Littman steth my son had given me for Xmas, other misc stuff, and all my drug cards) and hugged them goodbye, with no intention of ever going back. Marched into the school to tell my DON that I'm quitting, but she wouldn't let me. She said I'm in no condition to make such a decision now, between my FIL and the fact that my own father is in the midst of going through many dx tests - they found a spot on his lung, problems with a heart valve, etc.

So now my choices are (a) should I go back to LPN school at all? (b) go part time and graduate in June 2006 © jump into the next full-time class when they get up to the point where I just left off, which would be in September or October, then graduate in January 2006.

Tired of agonizing. Wish I could do a Rip Van Winkle and just sleep for a hundred years. But then what would I want to do when I wake up? :crying2:

stevenking, BSN, LPN, RN, EMT-B · Mar 9, 2005

So now my choices are (a) should I go back to LPN school at all? (b) go part time and graduate in June 2006 © jump into the next full-time class when they get up to the point where I just left off, which would be in September or October, then graduate in January 2006.

First of all...sending good thoughts and a prayer for your father. Hope all goes well there.

Secondly, go back - finish...however you do it. Closed chapters are better than chapters that are never finished.

Going back to seminary to finish what I started,

The Kingster†

hcmanp, NP · Mar 9, 2005

Thanks, all, for your input. I have now taken a leave of absence. I am definitely out of the full time program. My father-in-law had a heart attack this week and my absence to go visit him in Pittsburgh from upstate NY will cost me my place in that class. But that was a no-brainer. Family comes first.
The day after my FIL's heart attack, I attended clinical and just lost it. Gave all my equipment away to my classmates (a great Littman steth my son had given me for Xmas, other misc stuff, and all my drug cards) and hugged them goodbye, with no intention of ever going back. Marched into the school to tell my DON that I'm quitting, but she wouldn't let me. She said I'm in no condition to make such a decision now, between my FIL and the fact that my own father is in the midst of going through many dx tests - they found a spot on his lung, problems with a heart valve, etc.
So now my choices are (a) should I go back to LPN school at all? (b) go part time and graduate in June 2006 © jump into the next full-time class when they get up to the point where I just left off, which would be in September or October, then graduate in January 2006.
Tired of agonizing. Wish I could do a Rip Van Winkle and just sleep for a hundred years. But then what would I want to do when I wake up?

Have ta think about nursing school again!

Part time is not a bad option: I got my MSN while working full time and raising 3 kids and 2 dogs - and then we got a guinea pig! It can be done, but you need husbandly and family support galore, and you DO give up everything else.