Things to do in WalMart while you shop...


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms &randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,Code 3 in Housewares...and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: Why can't you people just leave me alone?

9.. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible"

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"


15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "Hey! You're out of toilet paper in here!!"

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

142 Articles; 9,982 Posts

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych. Has 26 years experience.

To that list, may I add this one:

Sit in the lunch area and count all the people with mullets. Stop when you run out of fingers and toes.;)


40 Posts

make a fort out of shoe boxes in the shoe department

get on the PA and announce everything in the store is now 50% off for the next 20 minutes

announce the first customer to get to the automotive department gets a free car of their choice from the "tire and lube express"

grab a package of toilet paper and squat in the middle of the aisle and grunt ...

start barking at people in the meat department ...

go to the fish department and insist you need THAT fish and ONLY that fish from a tank of 600 fish ....

go to lawn and garden and pretend your in the indy 500 on a riding mower ...

the bad thing is, these are things we have actually done ... :devil: :chuckle


80 Posts

In a Wal-Mart in a town we used to live in, they had phones throughout the store hanging on the wall. Well, one day, as we were shopping, one of the phones started ringing. My jokester of a husband goes over, picks up the phone, says "no one's home", and hangs up. I just about died laughing.

road runner2003

147 Posts

Dear me ! The image in my mind of a person doing some of this stuff. :lol2 During peak hours times of holiday Christmas shopping, car parks are chock-a-block - people resort to following other shoppers around the shopping center parking lot rather than driving all over the shopping center looking for one. Mum and I being 'us' had a little fun of own leading shoppers on a wild goose chase around the shopping center for 3 or 4 minutes acting like we had finished shopping only to turn around wave, indicating we were not leaving. Yes, it is cruel - but when you have a plethora of cars following you about the car park . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .well . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Specializes in CCU (Coronary Care); Clinical Research.

Oh mjlrn...the mullett thing, so so true, *sigh*

Ha Ha Ha.

I just can't bring my self to go into walmart this time of year.



754 Posts

Specializes in Everything but psych!. Has 31 years experience.

My daughter and I were shopping at a very busy mall. We were in the parking structure in a prime spot. We were done shopping and were laden with packages. While walking to the trunk and putting our packages in, a car with two young dudes backed up to the car to wait for our spot.

The imp in me made me do it. I told my daughter, "let's go back in." We did. Has anybody else ever done that? :imbar


65 Posts

I was in WalMart today at 2AM and witnessed 3 middle-aged women playing Marco-Polo!!! :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle

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