Thick Skin and Emotion Control for a Future in Nursing

caliotter3 · May 7, 2017

I have no practical advice, other than to seek a professional counselor and get involved with outside interests. When you are involved with others, or projects, or something outside of yourself, the emotions won't be so much in control of your core. You also might find some relief in the knowledge that, as a nurse, you are helping others. That should help you feel good about yourself.

KeekesRenea · May 7, 2017

Thank you for your reply. :)

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · May 7, 2017

Most people are still clueless at 24. Give yourself some time to work on it.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · May 11, 2017

Your thoughts and feelings will continue to evolve as you grow, and that doesn't stop when you hit a certain age. You will continue this process for the rest of your life, and it doesn't even slow down. I feel like most people don't know that, because we don't really respect our elders the way we should, and we think that aging is a decline rather than a continuation of personal growth. We're wrong about this-- that you grow up and then you're done and then the rest is downhill-- it isn't like that at all.

So don't worry about it. You will figure it all out in time, and once you figure all that stuff out you will start working on new stuff. Just put one foot in front of the other and pursue the career you want, and be the best student and person you can be.

Ruby Vee, BSN · May 11, 2017

I don't know a fancy way to start this, so I'll just get straight to the point of this post...
For as long as I could remember, I've always been well attached to my emotions... I knew what I was feeling at the specific time of that specific situation, and I PROMISE this was me ever since I was really young. I just never knew how to deal with "negative emotions" in the right way... If I was angry, I'd make sure I did things to make sure that the person who pissed me off knew I was angry and that they needed to fix it. If I was sad, depending on how sad I was, I'd just hide away and not do anything until something was done about it or until I felt over it. Growing up, people had a lot of control over my emotions. And I used to be a MAJOR people-pleaser...
Around the time I turned 22-23, I started to notice how cruel the world actually was, and as much as I wanted to believe that everyone had good in them, I kept being proven wrong. It got to a point where I would do self-destructing things because I was completely snatched from my false reality that if I was nice enough to people, maybe I wouldn't deal with so many bad things. But as I went on with life, I noticed that it really didn't matter or not in most situations and I kind of developed the mindset that humanity as a whole was bad. So, I started having the attitude of "screw you if you don't like me because I already don't like you."
As it is now, I am 24... And now I am completely numb. It completely sucks because I KNOW that I want to be a nurse... But I also know that my feelings and views about people as a whole isn't the best thing? Not saying at all that I'd walk up to someone and be a complete... Rude person... to them. But it seems like I am definitely on the defense and unless I've known someone for a long time and I can trust them, they are guilty until proven innocent... Instead of how I saw everyone before my complete emotional change, "innocent until proven guilty"...
There could be some benefits to not being as emotionally affected... But isn't there a balance? I thought that by 24 I'd have all of this down... But in all honesty, I'm not even close... Now-a-days, it seems as if I'm just emotionally disconnected... Which is what I'm feeling more and more like everyday, the more I deal with people who I perceive as "bad"... Or I am lashing out, trying to do whatever I can to get back at someone who I felt crossed the line.
Some people who I know (also healthcare providers), think that some of this is needed to protect myself... In parts I can agree... Especially, when it comes to just being disconnected and not caring so much that it ruins you... But, to be a nurse, you still have to have some form of emotion. You need to have a heart... And I feel like mine has been almost destroyed to be honest.
How does one actually fix this? How can you keep that emotional balance. I want to be a nurse and I don't want to let this stop me from achieving that goal, seeing as I worked so hard.
Sorry, this post is long... Really needed to just get this off my chest. Hopefully, no one will be offended.

If you are so sure that everyone is "bad" and that you need to lash out at anyone who "crosses a line", why in the world do you want to be a nurse? If you want to be a nurse for whatever reason (I'm not a big fan of "the calling", but I think you need to have a reason to want to be a nurse), how in the world are you going to handle caring for all those "bad people" out there? I'd urge you to talk to a counselor of some sort to help you sort through this whole conundrum. Because believe me, if you don't like people, lack empathy and compassion and cannot control your urges to lash out, nursing won't be for you. I hope you sort through your options because it doesn't sound as if you are nursing material at this time, either. Clarify what you want out of a career, there are myriad possibilities, but don't be a nurse if you don't like people.