There goes my self-esteem...

[newpedirn08]

[color=#cc33cc]hi there, so i'm a new grad, i've been working in pedi ltc for a couple weeks now- i was feeling pretty good about my abilities last week, and then yesterday i had the day from hell and i was seriously doubting myself... it all started when i came into work, i was doing my assessments while my preceptor was talking to the supervisor about something- well, it turns out that something was me! apparently during my last shift there was a narcotic i forgot to sign out, and my supervisor got in trouble because he was supposed to be checking over what i did. i just had this awful feeling in my stomach that stuck for the rest of the day, i just felt like i couldn't get anything right, it seems like every day i end up doing something moronic... it didn't help that several hours later i was late finishing my med pass, and the final straw that did it for me was when i spilled one of the resident's meds after already putting half down the g-tube- my preceptor tried to reassure me that it wasn't a huge deal because there weren't any narcotics, and there was nothing we could do anyway since we didn't know how much she had gotten... but at that point i was already feeling like the biggest loser in the world- while he was telling me all this i was trying to hide how upset i was with myself, which i obviously didn't do a good job at because then he stopped an asked me if i was having a bad night, and i just lost it! i totally broke down crying/sobbing in front of him and in the middle of the hallway, i was so embarrassed but i couldn't help it... and then he gave me a really good pep talk and he was so nice that i just wanted to hug him, except that would have been weird because he's my coworker, but i guess i just finally had to vent my frustration at being a new grad and that was the way that it came out, unfortunately... of course, later on it was my turn to see the supervisor and fill out an incident report with her, which was also upsetting, but at least i had already cried so i was able to hold it together and chalk it all up to being a learning experience.

[joseash]

Hang in there, we all have bad shifts from time to time. You are not unique in that way so quit beating yourself up about it! It doesn't matter how long you've been around. Things happen. You will learn more every day and you will build confidence in your nursing skills as time goes on. It sounds like you have good support from your co-workers and that can make a world of difference.

As for spilling half the meds, again probably most of us have klutzy moments like that as well. Do you want to hear one of mine? Here ya go.... I had to start a new IV on my cancer pt with hardly any veins to work with and I actually got one in, much to my surprise! But like an idiot, I went to flush and check for blood return and then left the syringe attached while I grabbed for a strip of tape to secure the site. Meanwhile my pt trying to be helpful in some unknown way I'm still trying to figure out lifted her arm up and of course the weight of the syringe pulled the IV right out. Blood started flowing, it was a mess and worst of all, I lost a perfectly good site with not much else to work with! I felt so stupid but of course I learned my lesson and always have my tape handy now. As luck would have it, or maybe an angel on my shoulder that night, I found another teeny tiny vein and was able to get another IV started. Made for good practice in IV skills, that's for sure!

But see, we all have our moments. Learn from them, laugh about it later (only the funny ones), and move on.

[southernbelle08]

Hang in there, we have ALL been there!!

There are some nights when I feel like a total idiot. I have forgotten to sign a narcotic out before, you aren't alone. I have also dropped medicine. Again, you aren't alone. If we all sat and told stories of things we've done and moments we've had, I promise it would fill up a thread fast. This is how we learn and yeah, it is embarrassing at times and you feel like they taught you nothing in nursing school, but you just have to learn from your mistakes.

It is going to be ok! :)

[moonchild20002000]

I have had shifts that were so bad I cried on the way home! It will get better with time!

[soffy]

hey, i can totally relate :heartbeat

just the other day, i had this dread at the beginning of my shift that it was gonna be a crappy day. maybe it was self-fulfilling prophecy, but i found myself in a really pressured situation where i took a verbal order to hook up an insulin drip (my first one ever) just as the patient was supposed to be picked up to go to OR. I had to transcribe the order, mix the insulin, make sense of what i was doing.. My coworkers pitched in and helped me a lot. But at the end of it all, someone saw the look on my face and asked "hey, are you Ok?" and i started crying and couldn't stop. I cried for so long in the stockroom while the nurse consoled me. I took a break, got myself together. unfortunately throughout the day, multiple people asked me how i was doing and that just sent the tears running again .. I swear, the best way to make someone cry is to ask if they are ok

I hope you hang in there.. it shows that you're conscientious of your work and you want to do the best job you can. Excellent work ethics.. i guess it's just about letting go of the little things. we'll both get the hang of it one day :)

[lpnflorida]

I have had bad shifts such as yours. I am so glad you have an understanding preceptor.

As the saying goes, we learn more from our mistakes than the days and days that go by without a flaw.

[november17, ASN, RN]

If this helps any, incident reports mean absolutely nothing. They are worthless. Most of the time they go in a filing cabinet in the manager's office never to see the light of day ever again. It is the facility's way of covering their butt in case something goes awry. You are not going to get in any trouble because you forgot to sign a med out (believe me, this happens on occasion to practically everybody). Did the situation get sorted out? Great! You won't make the same mistake twice! So you made for couple of scratched heads when the count was off by one, but as long as the situation got fixed then don't beat yourself up. Did they give you the opportunity to sign it out after they figured out what happened?

I seriously doubt you harmed the patient by spilling some meds during the med pass. I mean, like the preceptor said, there's nothing to be done since you didn't really know what they got and what the didn't. Still, missing a dose of their pepcid/iron/multivitamin or God knows what isn't going to kill them. Most likely they'll get more in 12 hours so don't beat yourself up. It's really not that big of a deal!

Don't break down too hard over the stress. You cried, great, it's a wonderful stress reliever. Remember though, you are human, and mistakes happen!

[flyakite80]

I tend to stress over even the smallest mistakes, I'm really trying to work on that. But like everyone said, life goes on, no one was harmed at the end of the day. I just wish I could take my own advice!!

[futurenicunurse2008]

crap!!! u just reminded me I forgot to sign out a narc...i think.... we have pyxis but I think she mentioned something but then we got a new admit and I to finish charting and 0 out my pumps and i forgot.

Dont feel bad about mistakes. My preceptor has told me about 3 times that im over thinking things.