THE WORST Experience/night of my life!

AlishiaRN77 · Feb 7, 2008

You have to realize that everyone makes mistakes....

What happened to you can happen to anyone. Don't look at this as a mistake to change your career that you worked so hard for.

I would ignore anything anyone says that's considered gossip. I know from experience that taking things in that are observations you may think is happening or might be happening can damage your self esteem completely.

If I were in your position, I would take it as a learning point. If someone approaches you, I would respond with something to the effect of...ya know you're right it was such a stupid mistake..but i do know that it will never happen again because of how i learned from it.

I work in social work currently and have to deal with hundreds of people....staff, family, physicians, patients, colleagues......plenty gossip and plenty point out my mistakes BUT i don't let it get to me. I learn from it and move on.

I'm sure you make a great nurse. Have patients complained? Have family members complained?

I hope you'll see past through this and feel better. Hang in there!

Good luck to you!

deeDawntee, RN · Feb 7, 2008

OK, my dear, take a nice long deep breath....it is OK...you did nothing wrong, the patient is fine.

What you do is go into work on your next shift and say, did you hear what happened to me on my last shift?? I was told the K+ was 1.4 and it just didn't register, that can't be possible, I thought...thank goodness, nurse so and so brought me to my senses!! Or whatever, just go in and laugh at yourself...we ALL do things like that and it is NOT a big deal...your sense of humiliation and embarrassment is way overblown. I promise. If a few evil gossipers ARE wagging their tongues at your expense, then shame on them. I would walk in with my head up and a smile on my face.

Now, about what I think may really be going on here...is something I can fully relate to...is the insecurity you are battling. Believe me, I must be mindful and manage it constantly. There is a lot you can do to help yourself, but to be completely honest, what I finally did was got myself into therapy. It does not have to be for a long time, but an objective, supportive professional can make a huge difference for you. I would strongly recommend it before you change professions because I can promise you that your insecurities will follow you wherever you go. (did you ever hear the saying "wherever I go, there I am"? I could always relate to that one!)

In the meantime, can you use some visualizations to see yourself before you go to work, as being effective and responsive and a healer and educator...all those things which I am sure that you already are? Also, is there some trinket or charm or necklace that you can wear that will remind you of how special and awesome you are...something that you can see as shielding you from negativity? Those are a couple of things that I have done that have helped me...

Hey, good luck, let us know how you are doing, OK?

Roseyposey · Feb 7, 2008

so this a rant about how much i despise some of the stupid mistakes i make as a new nurse...and the always present embarrassment d/t the fact that i ask questions that are stupid and now all of the unit thinks i am a fumbling idiot. ok so my unit coordinator calls me and gives me a critical potassium level of 1.4. i'm thinking this can't be possible. he would be dead! but in my frenzy of thoughts i decide the best way to approach this is to ask the nearest nurse what she thought about it. after looking at me for a good minute she says ugghhh mm well i would re-draw the ep1....a k of 1.4 is not compatible with life. i'm thinking duh...get him on the ekg monitor and get the k started! then i come to realize that maybe the unit coordinator told me the wrong value. at this point i'm screwed and of course nooo the patients k was not 1.4 rather it was his mg that was 1.4. not only did i want to go hide under a rock at this point...everyone on the unit was talking about me and the mistakes i've made. should i just hang up my nursing license and move on. i mean i know k less than even 3 is critical so i knew that 1.4 is not conducive to life, and yet i ask in my freaking out stage instead of calming down and realizing this is not possible. no, i go and ask a charge nurse who is now probably considering turning this incident over to management. am i really this freaking stupid? should i just move on somewhere i can start over and where everyone won't think i'm and absolute idiot? ahhhh...why did i choose to be a nurse! i want to help people, not run around like a chicken with my head cut off every night. this sucks. i work tomorrow and i'm dreading the looks and whispers that are going to be made behind my back. gossshh...why does everyone on the unit gossip gossip gossip...that is all they do. behind each others back. i don't know if i should just move on or consider moving to another profession. i feel so low and my self esteem as a nurse is less than 0. i have none. i always feel uncomfortable, is it the unit and the gossip or is it me and the fact that i make these silly mistakes. please anyone

i would not be able to function in my job if i didn't have other, more experienced nurses to bounce things off of. many times, as i ask them questions, i answer it myself. i am sorry that you are working in an environment that you have to worry about a charge nurse turning you over to management because you asked a question. you didn't over-react and call out the troops over that lab value, you questioned it - good for you. maybe these nurses who are making fun of you need to remember they did not come into this world with "rn" stamped on their rears!

Code_VSA · Feb 7, 2008

You have to realize that everyone makes mistakes....
What happened to you can happen to anyone. Don't look at this as a mistake to change your career that you worked so hard for.
I would ignore anything anyone says that's considered gossip. I know from experience that taking things in that are observations you may think is happening or might be happening can damage your self esteem completely.
If I were in your position, I would take it as a learning point. If someone approaches you, I would respond with something to the effect of...ya know you're right it was such a stupid mistake..but i do know that it will never happen again because of how i learned from it.
I work in social work currently and have to deal with hundreds of people....staff, family, physicians, patients, colleagues......plenty gossip and plenty point out my mistakes BUT i don't let it get to me. I learn from it and move on.
I'm sure you make a great nurse. Have patients complained? Have family members complained?
I hope you'll see past through this and feel better. Hang in there!
Good luck to you!

No, don't hang it up as a Nurse. Everyone makes a mistake and don't let one mistake cancel out all the good you have done in the past, the present, and the future. I did feel very ashamed of your co-workers though. If you had questions or were second guessing because of lack of confidence or knowledge, than SOMEONE should of stepped up and been mature enough to explain it to you, ask you questions what you think, etc. For almost 32 years now, I've been listening to that statement, "Nurses eat their young." Sweetie, in your department you are the main course. As mostly a women's profession, I feel this is why we don't get the recognition, respect, or pay due us....we are not unified and stand strong together shoulder to shoulder. But instead, we are in the staff room back biting, back stabbing, being ****** and hateful and knocking someone else down when we really should be holding out a hand. Hang in there. It will either get better when fresher meat shows up, management will either "talk" with you and give you a warning or suggest you "try" a different department, or you'll get so fed up with the ********, you will leave. But, don't give up completely. There is always, always, something better out there.

coastiewifern · Feb 7, 2008

You should be proud that you questioned that lab value. Good for you. I'm also a new nurse and have TONS of questions. Remember we are not expected to know everything right now, but are expected to speak up when we do have questions. I've asked stupid questions too, but that's often my way of working it out myself. Do you have a mentor in another department that you can go to? My hospital holds "New Grad Forums" quarterly and offers a mentorship program for those of us who want to participate. If yours doesn't maybe you can get the ball rolling by going to your educators and senior nursing staff with the idea. They are really helpful to me because I get a chance to express my concerns to the people who can do something about it. You also get a chance to see it happens to all of us. Just take it a day at a time and good luck!

marie-francoise · Feb 7, 2008

That "tsk-tsking" attitude on the part of other nurses just makes me think less of them. There are a lots of nice, supportive nurses out there; but the "tsk-tskers" are just old-biddy & annoying. Just ignore them - although, admittedly, hard to do if you're a) human and b) work in the same place all day...

Any workplace with chronic whispering and gossip is just not grown-up or professional. Sorry you have to deal with that. Why I think an infusion of male nurses would be a good thing for nursing. (And I say that as a female.) They could help reduce the "gossiping biddy" potential in nursing. (Not that there aren't male gossipers out there, of course.)

longjourneydream · Feb 7, 2008

that "tsk-tsking" attitude on the part of other nurses just makes me think less of them. there are a lots of nice, supportive nurses out there; but the "tsk-tskers" are just old-biddy & annoying. just ignore them - although, admittedly, hard to do if you're a) human and b) work in the same place all day...
any workplace with chronic whispering and gossip is just not grown-up or professional. sorry you have to deal with that. why i think an infusion of male nurses would be a good thing for nursing. (and i say that as a female.) they could help reduce the "gossiping biddy" potential in nursing. (not that there aren't male gossipers out there, of course.)

hello!

your co-workers should not put you down. i myself have been a new grad for 8 months now, and if i make a mistake my co-workers will let me know, and support me. yes, there is whispering going on, and gossip,but for the most part i have a supportive group of people who try to keep me on my toes.

if i were working beside you and i knew the answer, to that you did not, i would tell you and not make you feel like a fool, and hope you would do the same for me.

i feel we must treat all our co-workers well, because we never know when we are going to need them in moments of emergencies or just plain moral support, no matter if on unit for one day or 35 years.

paxpax · Feb 7, 2008

emmie08

I am a new nurse and I have felt the same as you have after making a mistake, or as I have done, using poor judgment. I was aware of 'gossip' - but soon EVERYONE gets over it. I find that I ask questions more than ever now - I find that my team on the whole likes to be asked. Hang in there, soon there will be newer nurses asking YOU questions.

iwanna · Feb 7, 2008

emmie08,

I am an LPN that has been away from workforce since 2004. I am thinking about returning and reading your post brought back memories. I think many places have nurses that love to gossip. Some love to talk about others mistakes believeing that it makes them look like a "good nurse". I believe that many nurses are insecure. And, it seems like it is always the new employees that they are really targets of the gossip. I have experienced it and saw others subjected to the same as I went through. I think in time, you prove yourself to them, and they look at you differently. When I first started my last job, I felt like nobody wanted me because I really sucked at my job. I worked in a psych facility. I hated going to work. I would sit in the parking lot and be physically sick that I had to endure 8 hrs of discomfort. But, eventually, I improved at my job, and they were requesting that I work on their unit. And, I grew to really like my job.

It is scary as a new nurse. I know that I was petrified. But, it does get better.

I am a little scared getting back out there. I will be the new person. But, I have been through it before.

You did question the lab value. So, don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure that you will be just fine and a fantastic nurse.:wink2:

jjjoy, LPN · Feb 7, 2008

Yep, the "tsk-tsk" attitude is so unproductive! There's a lot to learn and while you learned many things in school, most of that info isn't right there in one's automatic memory recall. It takes lots of repetition & exposure to get to the point where it's automatic to immediately recognize as normal or abnormal the numerous variables nurses are responsible for monitoring.

Sure, you could just look up whatever you aren't sure about, but that takes precious time and also takes you out of the moment of whatever task you're working on. Asking a quick question is often a much more efficient way to get a answer and a more efficient way to retain the information (so you won't be stuck not being sure on that question again and again).

You're learning to juggle dozens of balls right now. It may be embarrassing and your colleagues may not be supportive when you are dropping balls left and right (which will happen as a newbie!!), so at least be gentle with yourself as you pick up those balls and try again.

emmie08 · Feb 9, 2008

I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to help me with this situation. Reading your posts gives me hope that there are nice nurses out there, maybe this gosspiy unit is just not for me. Does anyone have some advice as to how to approach my NM regarding this issue and the fact that I would like to transfer. Being a new grad and only being out of orientation for a few months might look bad? I just not sure how to approach the situation. I don't enjoy the atmosphere of the unit. Everyone is gossipy and back stabbing. It makes me sick to even think about spending twelve hours with them much longer. Can someone offer advice?? Thanks for all of your posts. They really gave me a new perspective.:heartbeat:nurse: