THE WORST Experience/night of my life!

[emmie08]

so this a rant about how much i despise some of the stupid mistakes i make as a new nurse...and the always present embarrassment d/t the fact that i ask questions that are stupid and now all of the unit thinks i am a fumbling idiot. ok so my unit coordinator calls me and gives me a critical potassium level of 1.4. i'm thinking this can't be possible. he would be dead! but in my frenzy of thoughts i decide the best way to approach this is to ask the nearest nurse what she thought about it. after looking at me for a good minute she says ugghhh mm well i would re-draw the ep1....a k of 1.4 is not compatible with life. i'm thinking duh...get him on the ekg monitor and get the k started! then i come to realize that maybe the unit coordinator told me the wrong value. at this point i'm screwed and of course nooo the patients k was not 1.4 rather it was his mg that was 1.4. not only did i want to go hide under a rock at this point...everyone on the unit was talking about me and the mistakes i've made. should i just hang up my nursing license and move on. i mean i know k less than even 3 is critical so i knew that 1.4 is not conducive to life, and yet i ask in my freaking out stage instead of calming down and realizing this is not possible. no, i go and ask a charge nurse who is now probably considering turning this incident over to management. am i really this freaking stupid? should i just move on somewhere i can start over and where everyone won't think i'm and absolute idiot? ahhhh...why did i choose to be a nurse! i want to help people, not run around like a chicken with my head cut off every night. this sucks. i work tomorrow and i'm dreading the looks and whispers that are going to be made behind my back. gossshh...why does everyone on the unit gossip gossip gossip...that is all they do. behind each others back. i don't know if i should just move on or consider moving to another profession. i feel so low and my self esteem as a nurse is less than 0. i have none. i always feel uncomfortable, is it the unit and the gossip or is it me and the fact that i make these silly mistakes. please anyone

[jjjoy, LPN]

I think a big part of working in healthcare is getting used to the social environment... in a week or to they will probably forget all about it.

So true... I don't like it because I tend to be very sensitive but since I can't change everyone else's behavior, it's more useful to accept that in some places colleagues will give newbies a hard time and to just not take it personally.

I've come up with an analogy that works pretty well for me. A passenger with a new driver. The new driver is nervous and hasn't yet automated the multiple skills involved in driving in traffic. The passenger can see all of their near misses and has to sit tight yet be ready to help out in an instant if the new driver misses something (don't change lanes now! There's a car there!!!). It's a tough balance. The newbie hates being second guessed (I saw that car and wasn't going to hit it!) yet the passenger isn't sure what the newbie is or isn't aware of.

However, once a new driver has driven enough, they get comfortable and automatic in combining the various skills and the passenger can tell this and will relax and just have a nice chat while driving somewhere as opposed to sitting on the edge of the seat.

[setingle]

THank you for posting this. I feel the same way when i began to work for a private home care business. I too questioned if it was the right career for me, but after reading these posts i have decided that any question is a good question. good luck and keep your confidence high!

[MassED, BSN, RN]

well first of all, realize the unit coordinator gave you wrong INFO!! Second, the LAB should be calling a critical value to YOU, the primary nurse, not a unit coordinator (in any setting I have ever worked). It has to be documented what the value was and your actions - calling MD regarding critical K or whatever.

So, who the hell cares if anyone is talking about you - how about maybe they're talking about that UC that doesn't know what the heck he or she is doing. Let it go if gossip mongers are gossiping. They'll do it whether or not it's about you. And at least if it's something good, crack up and laugh as you walk by them, so they'll have something else to talk about. "Oh, she's laughing! She must not be bothered AT ALL by us mean-*ss beoootches!"

Don't let 'em get ya down. Let it go and ignore them! Best thing you can do. And always call the lab about a value you just don't believe - then go to the charge and inform them. Document the values and your actions (charge RN notified, called MD) - document patient status (breathing, on monitor showing NSR, denies CP... that kind of thing). Hang in there. Don't second guess yourself too much - it takes more than a day to get the hang of this stuff!!!!

[RoyalNurse]

I hate to tell you this, but you'll probably have a lot more nights and experiences like this one, but after a few months, it WILL get better. You're just bombarded with everything right now, and it gets hard to think sometimes when you're worried about not looking stupid.

People will always gossip, there's no stopping it. You just have to worry about you. Talk with your manager about your performance, you may be doing better than you think. :wink2:

I seriously doubt that the charge nurse is thinking about reporting anything to management.

Even if she was, everyone makes mistakes, we are NOT PERFECT.

I used to think I had to be virtually perfect to be a nurse, patients can't afford mistakes. Now I realize that that mind-frame just sets you up for mistakes, because you're brain is occupied and frozen with "I can't afford to make any mistakes".

Think of it this way: Now, you'll probably never make a 'mistake' like this one again, next time you hear a K of 1.4, you'll instantly react like a good, prudent nurse.