The teacher from hell (it's long)

shape0fmyheart · Sep 30, 2003

Ok.. today was our second clinical, we still didn't really do anything but we did get paired up, 2 to a patient, we introduced ourselves and then just did a care plan. Our patient was cute, 82, her sweet husband was there.. they were really nice. I didn't even talk to them though! My partner did, she's already a PCT so she feels comfortable already. BUT today was enough to show me that I was right, my instructor is SOO mean! I am already so terrified and trying to get over my fear of just interacting with people. When I have queen b*tch over my shoulder making me feel like I'm an inch tall, it just scares me 60000 times more, and kills ANY slight amount of confidence I might have had. (which is like none). I'm really scared this woman will be the reason for me not being able to get through this. I knew from the beginning, before I even started, that it would be harder for me because I have social anxiety, getting over that is really hard. But SHE is just pushing it to the limit, and it was only second clinical! I felt like crying already. What should I do? I have this tendancy to let people get to me and get to me and keep it inside until I snap. I'm afraid I might end up handling this situation the wrong way. Do I just ignore her?

Rapheal · Sep 30, 2003

I had a med-surg and psych instructor single me out. They made my life hell. I practiced the blank face look, when they told me they didn't like something I did it their way. When they said I had a weakness I went to the lab or to the book and wrote them a note each time to show them I was trying to improve (hence-roll over and be a good dog).

They left me alone and moved on to their next victims. It is a never ending power trip for some people. It is so sad because school is hard enough and then you have the spouse, the kids, work. The best revenge for me was graduating.

mother/babyRN, RN · Sep 30, 2003

I don't know ANY nurse who doesn't have a horror story about a nursing instructor somewhere along the line BUT you can and will get through it. I was convinced after I graduated that they must be taught to be tough and "mean" so we could see what the real world of working with doctors and nursing was like...I never condoned it, but that seems to be just the way nursing school ( and military training is)......Hang in there and show him/her how tough you are right back.....The other thing I realized in school is because of this attitude everyone was fearful of not knowing anything for fear they would be quizzed..Then I got pulled into a conference with my PACU instructor...Although my room mate at the time warned me, I had no time to prepare as we were at clinical...When she turned over the pt report and quizzed me why the pt had received certain meds, I looked at her and quite honestly and innocently said that I didn't know.....Her eyes softened and she started to explain it...Later, she told me she appreciated that I didn't try and fib or fake my way through it, and that the direct approach was the way a good nurse would have handled it..(Personally, at the time I just didn't know)..

Nursing school is stressful nearly every minute. Tears come and tears go. So do the tough moments..YOU can do it!

NICU_Nurse, BSN, RN · Sep 30, 2003

When I was in nursing school, I had a REALLY hard time getting through my second Med/Surg rotation. I had a serious bee-yotch of an instructor who was SO demanding, and she made people cry ALL the time. I was newly married, struggling to work 32 hours a week in a horrible retail-customer service job that was completely thankless and paid crap, my husband had just found out he was diabetic and was sick, sick, sick, and he'd had a nervous breakdown and serious clinical depression after suffering a back injury that was worsened by the diabetes, required surgery, and lost his job all in a matter of two months. We were begging churches for canned goods, and I was crying on the phone to the CREDITORS, because they took pity on me when they called and stayed on the line to let me vent a little (I had no one else to turn to). Our sex life was nonexistant, we were eating tuna for breakfast and dinner (no lunch- poor people can't afford lunch), I was exhausted, I had three outfits in my close that were old and had to be rotated all week because I had no money for clothes, I mean, you name it, it was happening. I was really struggling and couldn't concentrate, and extremely depressed AND feeling pressured because I knew if I couldn't graduate and get licensed, we were up a thick creek without a twig. If I didn't get out of school, we were over. Period. My husband would scream at me every day that he was divorcing me because he was a) a waste of time (when he was depressed and felt I could have done better than him) or b) a ***** (when he was hurting and what I offered couldn't help him feel better), and all of this going on when I'm trying to do care plans and learn medical mnemonics and appear alert and be safe at clinicals.

This instructor reamed me up and down for every little thing, and for some reason, felt the need to make an example of me. Well, I'll tell you what- if there's one thing you need to know about me, it's that you'd BETTER NOT tell me I'm stupid or that I can't do something I want to do. You try to set me up in front of the whole class and humiliate me, I'm going to be prepared. Maybe you'll get me the first time, but it's going to be your LAST, honey. And that's exactly what happened. I had to anticipate what she'd ask of me and be UBER-prepared, and to top that off, I had to come up with creative ways of proving that I wasn't dumb (because, unfortunately, other people believe what is before them- I didn't know these classmates and other nurses at the clinical site- they only knew of me what came out of her mouth, personal performance be damned).

At the end of the semester, I needed a certain percentage to pass. In order to get that, I had to get a B+ on my final. And it was NOTORIOUSLY hard, that final exam. People warned you about it from day one of school.

She took me to the side, after all my effort, and said in this nasty, condescending voice, "Nursing school isn't for EVERYONE, you know..." and basically told me there was no way I was going to make it. It took all of my effort not to pop that woman right there in the jaw, just to see the look on her face! I felt my whole body tense up, and I'm the most patient person in the WORLD, so that is NOT a good sign for me. I bit my tongue so hard it bled that day.

I had been studying my ass off all semester, working harder than everyone else combined, all of that with the stresses I was dealing with at home, and I passed that test with one point to spare. She called me at the house and told me, and said that I got lucky and congratulations, blahblahblah, but it was totally insincere.

So, the rest of school passes, and I graduate. At graduation, we filed in procession past all of the instructors in their finery, and I stopped right in front of her, looked her straight in the eye, held out my hand to shake hers, and said, "You punished me and berated me for reasons I'll never understand, but you also pushed me when I was weak, and I needed that. I did get lucky and pass that final exam, because it easily could have gone the wrong way and I'd have failed, but EITHER WAY, you would have seen me walking past you just like I am today, because NOBODY was going to keep me from fulfilling my dream. Nursing is the first thing I ever did for myself, and I did it in SPITE of you, not because of you, but nevertheless, thank you. Good luck." And you know what happened? She got teary eyed. I walked away crying my eyeballs out and here I am, and I'm a damn good nurse if I do say so myself (and I DO!).

So, my advice to you? F- 'em.

Inadvertently, she helped me: I now try to be prepared for ANYTHING, and if I don't know it the first time, you can be darn sure that if you ever ask me again I'll know SOMETHING.

Hang in there! It means little to nothing now, but we've ALL been there. Keep the goal in mind, and consider yourself a quarterback- you've got to plow down a few people who get in your way, but all you see is that end zone.

Good luck!

tryingtomakeit, RN · Sep 30, 2003

I am right there with you! I am a senior nursing student who has managed to do quite well - until this semester! I have gone from a person who was referred to as "smiley" to a person who would give anything to feel like smiling again. I cry constantly and half my class is doing the same. I can't tell you how many classmates I have who are taking paxil and similar drugs just to be able to function. Recently I have started having anxiety attacks.

We have a nursing instructor who borders on being abusive. Let me take that back ... SHE IS ABUSIVE! She threatens us, downgrades us, and has us all petrified to even move in her presence. The other day two of my classmates, who are excellent students, were given a four page report for having the audacity to ask a question on nursing ethics. Needless to say, we are now scared to death to even ask this woman a question.

All I can say is hang in there. Sooner or later we are bound to wear them down!!!

shape0fmyheart · Oct 1, 2003

tryingtomakeit:

That is horrible! I definately don't think I could handle that, I admire your strength! I hope my teacher doesn't get THAT bad, that's outta control, people like that shouldn't be allowed to teach.

TinkSN · Oct 1, 2003

Last year was the year from hell. I am an only child and take care of both of my elderly parents at home. Last fall my father, who was always the strong, healthy person began to suffer from severe depression with suicidial thoughts so I had him in and out of several psychological facilities all while trying to live through med-surg lecture, med-surg clinicals, and two other courses. School itself was a full time commitment and trying to keep my 3.51 grade average wasn't easy.

We were told during the summer course that in the fall if we had any family problems we could come to our instructors and they would be understanding and try to help us if we got into a bind BAH!

I went to my med-surg prof and the woman was heartless! I tried to explain what was going on and that I could not afford to quit school but please help me somehow, with her course. I wasn't asking for a free ride, I couldn't live with myself if that would have happened. Besides, the fact that her test maps and guides never match anything on the test and she never lectures over everything thats on the test doesn't help either, so you never know HOW to study to begin with.

Anyhoos, this woman tells me that "you just do not know how to take test" and told me to see the tutor, end of help, excuse me, I've been in college since the fall of 2000 and I have a GPA of 3.51 and I don't know how to test?!?!

So come December 20, 2002, 3 days before my courthouse wedding (who can afford anything in college?) and just a hop from Christmas I find out that she flunked me for .5 and that was not a % but just a plain .5, talk about cry and depression!

I took it to the dean and of course wasted my time, "she's a perfect instructor" yea right, it boiled down to-I'm wrong and she's right. It was like "tough crud that you almost lost your father to suicide and newly diagnosed CHF, and the affects it had on the whole family but I just do not think you could pass the boards if I passed you" (just a note: there were around 6 out of 80+ people who flunked her course, and the average grade in her class was a C)

So, please don't feel alone out there. I'm back in this woman's class again because I have no choice, she's the only one there that teaches the class, so I'm still trying to muddle through this class once again and still take care of my parents, 2 kids and hubby. If I make it this time I"m getting a giant S sewed to my shirts, I'll skip the tights though. :)

LauraLou · Oct 1, 2003

We have been told, "We don't care about your family situation, your finances, your sick kids, your husband overseas, your mental health, your pregnancy, your medical conditions, your broken-down car, etc. You will do all the work, make all the clinical days and no exceptions will be made. If you can't do this, there are a hundred other people waiting for your spot."