I frequently get asked this question by family/ friends after work. How do you guys answer this question? Do you talk about your day, with respect to Hipaa of course, the ups and downs? Or do you simply answer something to the likes of "Oh it was fine" or "It was good" and not get into it.
I find myself doing the latter. To non-nursing family/ friends who ask this question, I find it hard to talk about the realities of my job, I work with the critically ill, so it's not exactly light stuff to talk about. And most of the time I think they are just asking casually out of being polite, not that they really care how my shift went.
So to spare them (and myself from reliving the emotional/ moral distress) I usually just end up just saying "It was good." Even though many times it was not good. How could it be 'good' when your patient is near death or died. Or just found out they have cancer or that they overdosed on drugs...It's not stuff people are necessarily prepared to talk about/ hear.
So I settle for the very vague "it was good" or "i was busy, but it was fine" meanwhile my heart is in a knot about the truth of how my shift really went. It's hard not talking about it and holding it in sometimes.
So I would like to hear from all my fellow nurses out there how they deal with this question.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Hi fellow nurses,
I frequently get asked this question by family/ friends after work. How do you guys answer this question? Do you talk about your day, with respect to Hipaa of course, the ups and downs? Or do you simply answer something to the likes of "Oh it was fine" or "It was good" and not get into it.
I find myself doing the latter. To non-nursing family/ friends who ask this question, I find it hard to talk about the realities of my job, I work with the critically ill, so it's not exactly light stuff to talk about. And most of the time I think they are just asking casually out of being polite, not that they really care how my shift went.
So to spare them (and myself from reliving the emotional/ moral distress) I usually just end up just saying "It was good." Even though many times it was not good. How could it be 'good' when your patient is near death or died. Or just found out they have cancer or that they overdosed on drugs...It's not stuff people are necessarily prepared to talk about/ hear.
So I settle for the very vague "it was good" or "i was busy, but it was fine" meanwhile my heart is in a knot about the truth of how my shift really went. It's hard not talking about it and holding it in sometimes.
So I would like to hear from all my fellow nurses out there how they deal with this question.
There is an acronym used in psych which says that the word fine stands for Frustrated, Irrational, Neurotic, Emotional.
When someone asks we how was your day I usually answer "FABULOUS" or "FINE".
As male nurse I have had some really bad days due to female pregidices and jealousy. I am not GAy or their personal manservent. I worked as an LPN for 16 years then as an RN/BSN for 15 years and a Nursing Practisioner for 6 years and the female staff still treat me as their Orderly.
This depends on my mood and who's asking. If it's my husband, good day, bad day. If I'm feeling froggy, "I changed a really neat wound dressing with this really is color of green in it, buy it has just a touch of yellow too. And then I only got peed on once today. I wiped poop of a couple walls and used a blood spill kit twice." It's amusing to me, after being married for so long, when he tells me to shut up. 😂 If it's someone I don't know well, but they know if my horrible sense of humor ... "I'm a nurse. It sucked."
I don't go in to details with lay people, unless it's the above statement or something of that effect. Most of the time they have no clue what we, as medical professionals are talking about, not do they care. My husband does HVAC, and I eventually tune him out because I have no idea what he's talking about and honestly, not being able to get that pipe loose, has zero comparison to what I do in a 12 hour shift. I usually want to roll my eyes at him, but refrain. Even after being together for 12 years, he still has no clue he's married to a nurse, or what hell I go through every night, even when explained.
As male nurse I have had some really bad days due to female pregidices and jealousy. I am not GAy or their personal manservent. I worked as an LPN for 16 years then as an RN/BSN for 15 years and a Nursing Practisioner for 6 years and the female staff still treat me as their Orderly.
Sorry you have to deal with this. I try to remain aware of my male co-workers and keep myself aware to how I treat them.
I will occasionally share details with two of my close female friends and my husband often hears complaints about bad days or something funny. The lunch room can be a place to vent also, especially when I've been fired by a patient who didn't like me explaining why heparin was best placed in the abdomen area.
My mother is a retired RN who saw more than I ever will so she will sometimes get an earful and I am reminded that I am lucky because we only arm patients with plastic items they can threaten me with instead of metal bedpans.
As male nurse I have had some really bad days due to female pregidices and jealousy. I am not GAy or their personal manservent. I worked as an LPN for 16 years then as an RN/BSN for 15 years and a Nursing Practisioner for 6 years and the female staff still treat me as their Orderly.
If it starts with "as a male nurse," it's usually interesting.
As male nurse I have had some really bad days due to female pregidices and jealousy. I am not GAy or their personal manservent. I worked as an LPN for 16 years then as an RN/BSN for 15 years and a Nursing Practisioner for 6 years and the female staff still treat me as their Orderly.
When asked by my female coworkers to perform some task that they simply care not to do, and I refuse,...I have been met with "but my husband would do it for me!".........Sweety,...I am NOT your husband! Do it yourself!!!
We had a new grad a few years ago in the ER, model thin and beautiful, but used to having others do things for her. EHS delivered a patient who horked a loogie and threw the Kleenex on the floor. She gave EHS doe eyes, and asked them to pick it up for her. They did (turkeys!) and I asked them why they never did that type of thing for us COBs!
If a snotty Kleenex gives you the shivers, I will save you the 3yo's poop when we need to sift for small change. Yucky for you, but I'll have fun watching you gag.
This is what I love about being a nurse and being married to a nurse. No one can understand the harsh realities of nursing better than another nurse! Anyone else asking about my day is just being polite and I politely answer "Just fine how was yours? "
hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I
4 Articles; 5,212 Posts
There is an acronym used in psych which says that the word fine stands for Frustrated, Irrational, Neurotic, Emotional.
When someone asks we how was your day I usually answer "FABULOUS" or "FINE".
My husband will state "I know what fine means!"
Hppy