The patients you will never forget

General E. Speaking, RN, RN · Dec 11, 2004

Tears are running down my face as I write this remembering him...he was in his 40's and a patient in our hospital for about 3 weeks. New diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. He was married to a wonderful woman and they had a young son. When the biopsies came back that his condition was terminal, he made his own funeral arrangements and took care of all the other details regarding his death so his wife wouldn't be burdoned. He made the decision to go home on hospice and make the most of his last days. I was in agony the day he was to be discharged because I knew it was the last time I would see him. I rolled him out in a wheelchair and gave him a long hug and managed to whisper "it has been a pleasure taking care of you". He died a few weeks later. His wife came back to the hospital a couple of month's later to thank me and another nurse for the care we had given him. He was lovely man, I feel honored to have known him and his family.

PamUK · Dec 11, 2004

Two patients come to my mind

The first was a young 16 year old having chemo and experiencing severe nausea & vomiting (YEARS ago) He was in a single room and his mother always came & stayed with him. One day, he called me in and asked me to close the door. I complied and, looking embarrased, he said "Can I ask you a question?" "Of course" I replied, but inside I was cringeing because I thought it was going to be a question about sex & thought "Not in front of his mother surely?"

"Is is OK if I smoke a joint to help with the sickness?" he calmly asked. What a relief... there IS a God! "Of course, but just hang your head out of the window" I answered. I told him a few months later what I had thought & he couldn't stop laughing.

The second was when I was a student in 1973. A 2 year old boy called Iain who had been developing normally and had contracted meningitis with dire consequences... couldn't do anything for himself, eat, drink, walk. Nothing. He was also blind and deaf. But that childs face when anyone touched him lit up like the sun and the moon and the stars. I don't know what happend to Iain, because my placement was only for 6 weeks, but I can still picture his face 30 years later and it STILL brings a lump to my throat.

curleysue · Dec 11, 2004

At 18 I got my CNA liscense and started working for hospice. My first little old lady had very aggresive cancer in her lungs and had less than 3 months to live. Things started out good she was very sweet and loved to give hugs. When she started going downhill I stayed by her bedside almost 8 hours during the day just talking with her and holding her hand. The night before she died she kept calling me mary and when I asked her why she called me mary she told me it was the closest name to God. That made me cry. Also that night her eyes would get really big and she would stare at the wall. I would ask her whats wrong and she said in a quite voice, "I see my brother and my mother, they are waiting for me." I was amazed at this and told her that it was okay to go. She died the next moring in my arms. It was so peaceful. When her family came later that moring I told her about the night before and they all cried and felt so much better about her death. That is my most memorable patient.

alisunshine9 · Dec 13, 2004

There was one woman I cared for in the hospital who was dying of cancer with mets. We called her the pink lady because everything had to be pink with her, paper, pens, tissues, get well cards, clothes, etc. She would come back from radiation treatments sick as a dog, wearing a pink tiara. :rolleyes: :) Anyone who entered her room would be greeted with "Hey Love!" She told me one day that she had her picture in a museum and it comforted her to know she wouldn't be forgotten when her time came. :crying2: She was always so pleasant and so wonderful, even while facing such a cruel disease.

nowplayingEDRN · Dec 13, 2004

In 12+ yrs of nursing and about a yr of home health care plus about a year of candy striping/nursing assistant, I have many memorable patients. I will share a select few.....some have touched me deeply and I will never forget......

The little old man in the nursing home, that I assisted to the bathroom right after his meal, patting my hand and kissing it while he sat there reigning supreme and then proceeded to hand me his false teeth, covered in beet juice..... :chuckle or my little neonate that we worked on furiously for over an hour, kept alive and transfered to a NICU only to have her pass. She was so perfect, looked just like a little china doll but she had such terrible internal deformities................a 30 something male with end stage AIDS, hallucinating, thinking that his 7 yr old daughter had been kidnapped and was being raped. I sat with him for hours holding his hand, keeping him calm, reassuring him that his daughter was fine, putting his IV back in when he jerked it out trying to get to his daughter. He regained enough of his mond to thank me before the end of my shift. He died several hours there after. At least I made the last few hours a bit more bearable for him.........The Orthodox Jewish Rabbi that had a stroke. A select few of us on nights called him Rebbi (a term of respect). We tried to give him as much dignity as we could and although he hardly spoke a lick of English, he conveyed through his daughter that he would buy me (and he did too!) the best chocolate money could buy. Although I insisted that he shouldn't, the next time I came to work, he had a bar of the absolute best chocolate I have ever eaten for me. I shared that chocolate bar with my co-workers (Hershey's has never been the same...lol) His daughter thanked us after he passed for the wonderful care we gave and for giving him back his dignity............The Korean woman that had major gut surgery after having a lap done by her GYN. He knicked a bowel and she had sat at home for 4 days while a raging peritonitis brewed. She was such a tiny little thing and so depressed that she was in the hospital. I gave her a complete bed bath, massaged her back with cream for her and then got on my knees and bathed her feet after they soaked for a while, massaged them with lotion and helped her into a pair od socks. She cried she was so greatful. My relief brought in pink nail polish and gave her a pedicure after I left.........The little mid 20's Phillipino woman who almost died on the OR table after a massive hemmorage during a lady partsl delivery. She had the most beautiful, long dark hair and it was in absolute knots. I got her comb and brush and gently combed every knot out of her hair and then braided it so it would stay relatively knot free. She didn't remember that we smuggled the baby into the recovery room and tucked it in bed with her but she remembered someone combing her hair for her and how good it felt........The mother who had to call for EMS from the road side when her son started siezing in the back seat of the car. I was stuck at the bedside of that child, fuel by a deep seated uneasiness. That little fella was in status epilepticus and he would have aspirated if I had not been at his side to turn him while he was siezing and suction his mouth out. His mom collapsed on my right shoulder while I kept a sharp eye on her son. She thanked me before she left and he was flown out to a PICU. he was extubated 2 days later and went home, doing well.......The 19 yr old that was diagnosed with stage 4 myeloma. Because of her Christmas has never been the same for she and her family touched me in such a way. I gave her the control she needed while providing the best care I could give, ensured that she was adequetly medicated and carefully turned her, massaged her gently and made sure that her mediport was properly cared for and advocated for her and her family. We smuggled her cat in to see her, assisted Universal Studios with fulfilling her wish to see How The Grinch Stole Christmas (with Jim Carey....before it was released in theaters) and helped the family work through the heart wrenching task of making end of life decisions for her. She died shortly after Christmas (It was her wish that she did not ruin the holidays for her family) And it was an intense time for all of us involved in her care. I was rewarded by the knowledge, given to me from the mother that I was her favorite nurse because I gave her back control over her self. That meant more to me than the laudation that other recieved for the care they gave her........

I'll stop for I could keep going and I have hogged enough space.. :rolleyes:

neenarekesh · Dec 22, 2004

Wonderful thread.
About 7 years ago, I was working inpt hospice. Our census was pretty low for a while, so I got to know one pt very well. He was an elderly man, dying of cancer. He had no friends or family in the area. He never told us why he was all alone, and I never asked. He was very handsome, distinguished and dignified. And... he was the most compliant pt I've ever had. He knew he was dying, but accepted it. Still he drank all of his Ensure, ate all of his meals and turned himself using his trapeze bar q 2 hrs.
He said I'm know I'm going to die, but I might as well maintain what I've got for as long as I can." I gave him a copy of the poem "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good night" and he put it up in his room.
We became friends. He had a couple of funny knick-names for me, and I had a couple for him. I worked nocs, and he's almost always be reading in bed or watching TV when I did my initial rounds.
I'd ask him how he was and he'd always say "I'm doing great, now that my favorite nurse is here."
His spinal tumor was cutting off the circulation to his lower body, and he developed huge decubs. At least they did not hurt him, as he also lost sensation in his lower body. Being clean and well-groomed was very important to him. We helped him maintain his immaculate grooming, and he got wonderful wound care.
When the end grew near, he got quieter and quieter as he lost his strength. He could no longer chat but would say "Just sit here with me and hold my hand."
I would pulll up a chair next to his bed and hold his hand while he fell asleep.
He was a very private person and tried not to show that he was scared, but I could see it in his eyes. Having his hand held seemed to bring him a lot of comfort.
I told him how much I would miss him when he was gone. He smiled, and said he was glad someone would.
He actually seemed to be improving a little, so the bosses had him transfered to an Adult Care Home saying he was not actively dying. Unfortunately, he died two days later.
Thinking of him brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye at the same time.
What a dear, dear man he was.

This is very touching.

Neena.

neenarekesh · Dec 22, 2004

I was working on a neuro unit and had man in his 70's with a Glioblastoma who had been in several times to have his tumor resected. He had been a local veterinarian before he retired and was the sweetest man I ever met. You could tell many people loved him, as he had a constant stream of visitors. His wife and daughter rarely left his side. He knew he was dying and accepted it, although his wife and daughter were still very hopeful he would pull through. He had a great sense of humor and was always making us all laugh. I took care of him a lot and probably got a little too attached to him and his family. They always brought chocolates for the nurses. The last time he came in I knew it was probably his last surgery. He kept having seizures and tumor was bigger than ever. I went home after that shift in tears thinking about how I would probably never see him again. I'm sure he's in a better place now and no longer in pain but I still think of him from time to time.

Very touching !

Neena.

Spiderella · Dec 22, 2004

Two patients come to my mind. The first was a 44 year old gentleman that got Hep B from an unknown source. He was in tx for a few weeks with the meds, and finally got better. He got home that night, from a celebatory dinner with his family, to the doc's message to call him right away. His liver enzymes had come back and he was in liver failure cos the drugs they used for the Hep B were hepatotoxic. He had 2 kids and a wonderful, positive wife that spent the nights and stayed by his side, cheering him up everyday. He was number 1 on the transplant list for the whole state and region, and his neighbours and friends kept calling wanting to be partial donors of a liver (they couldn't cos his was so advanced already). I had him for a week, and he was in the IMC, with classic ESL failure symptoms. He was real uncomfortable, edematous, low BP, skin blisters, dry itchy jaundiced skin, getting lactulose round the clock. He never complained. I saw his wife so energetic, as his strong rock, until the day that he got sent to the GI Lab for a procedure. His sister and her sister came, and they were in the room, and she broke down, knowing that there really wasn't anything more we could do, unless he got the liver. Later that night, he took a turn for the worse, got transferred to the ICU, and when I came back a couple of days later, I heard that he had died. That shook me to the core and has stayed with me ever since. I got all my friends and family to sign up to be donors, because I can't stop thinking, that if they had had a match, he would have had a better chance of survival.

The 2nd lady was also ESLD, she was a sweetheart, in her 70s, with 3 awesome and supportive daughters, reminded me of a little robin. She was cheery, and cooperative, appreciated every little thing that you did for her be it to tuck her pillow or take her VS. I had her for 2 days, and I kept praying that she would get a liver.

She did. She got transferred to the transplant floor later that week, and she came back to the hospital about 2 months later, hale and hearty, looking great, with her hair all cute and curly. I always love it when pt's come back to show that they are better. I had recognized her face, but couldn't place it, until she said her name....then I remembered. You would not believe that it was the same person.

As for the absolute horrid patients....I can tell you tens of thousands of those...but I won't. The good stories inspire more:rolleyes:

Aneroo, LPN · Dec 23, 2004

This moment is one that touches me, and it's fairly recent. As a student on a step down trauma surgery/neuro floor, my patient was a 48 yo female who had been struck by a car. Thje first day went well. The second day I was there, she was been running a fever throughout the night. It broke, but she was still clammy. My group was leaving the floor for a conference, and I asked one of the CNA's if she could give my pt a bath while we were gone. She said she couldn't, the night CNA's didn't do any baths because "The students could do it". Awesome CNA, she said "Maybe when you get back we can work on it together". We came back, I went ahead and did the bath. It's amazing to me how much a bath, some lotion, and some clean linens can make a difference to a patient. She has a history of schozphrenia, but she was sweet to me. When I went in to tell her goodbye, she said "I love you". I wanted to cry. I know she really doesn't love me...she only knew me a few hours. But to me that meant I had made her happy, comfortable.

The other patient I had was a 3mo baby with hydrocephalus. He was born early, a twin, 28 weeks. His brother was at home with family (mom had another baby, dad was in jail). Me and a partner struggled with this tiny boy, as neither of us have kids, and my partner was a guy (he really struggled...no motherly instinct?) We were told he would go to Howell's Child Care (similar to a nursing home, but for children), because his mother couldn't or didn';t want to take care of him (he was blind due to ROP). A few weeks later our instructor came to me, told me I'd be giving two vaccinations to a baby who was going home. I go in, and it's the baby boy I had the first week. His mom, dad, sister and twin brother were there. After his shots, I picked him up to comfort him, and then gave him to his mom. Before I left, I saw them place the twins in the crib together...I wanted to cry (I'm hormonals, I cry a lot). They curled right up to each other, as to say "hey buddy, where ya been?". Even if it was a troubled household, I was glad he'd be with his brother. -

-Andrea